Chasing Pardon
This is not the first time.
A close friend of mine who has never given up on me (or at least I think the person still hasn't) said that it is with great pity seeing me like this. And during my last trip home, I was surprised to have my plans for one night completely remodeled. A whole night to celebrate a birthday party ended up really well (unexpectedly) with having spoken to this person. I guess if my pitiful condition were likened to a viral plague, this person would be like Robert Neville (Will Smith) of I Am Legend, miraculously spared from it. And yes, I am sorry and pitiful, but I know that for the world, such an admission will not suffice.
People throw away needlessly, and without regard for value, the many things they have to pursue the very things that eludes them the most. For some, er many, they throw away trust and, I mean, years of it over something like money. Nonsense? To those who chase it, money may just be worth all THAT. Someone's trash may be another person's treasure. And for me, it is something else. You and I have different needs, wants, cravings, aspirations, goals, etc. And likewise, we are endowed with different types of resources, "blessings", and varying amounts of such.
I would not like to label it as a curse on my part because there might be a good reason for it. That's the optimist in me talking. Nevertheless, till the curse (for the lack of a better name to coin it) is broken, I guess my unfinished business in this world (or in the next) would be to seek pardon for every person that I have left behind without any fault on their part.
And this will not be the last. *sigh :(
I need saving, dear Lord.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
(Writing) In Between The Lines
All I hear now is silence. And I shall now relish in its beauty for just this one special moment - a moment of freedom, a space in time that is in my keeping. I hear no phones ringing, no tip-tapping keyboards, no voices telling me what to do. The flesh is in its euphoric state, free from the pressures of stress borne by a bustling day at the workplace. The heart beats with the mind's pulse, and they are both in a different dimension, united at last with a common mission to solve the puzzle together; a puzzle that never seems to run out of pieces.
The heart once spoke of Gratitude, Kindness and Love. It always has and forever will be. The mind has always been troubled, scheming, planning, analyzing and executing every precise detail to architect the massive project that is the life in the years to come. Now they share one aim: to search for the cure to this vicious cycle where Gratitude weeps when seeking more and more out of life proves meaningless, and conversely when seeking for Meaning and for :ove, there is no Gratitude and the jaws of life bites deeply leaving scars called Lessons on Reality. And so what joins both heart and mind is the realization that I need to gear my eforts into serving my sole purpose in life.
Today, I know, as with anyone else, that it is somebody for someone. Where I am now is a calling to pave the way for a whole new world, something far greater than any other story, for it is OUR story. I shall bless everyday for every drop of sand in the hourglass of time is one significant block to build our future. And though I toil with every drop of blood, sweat and tears, I know that it shall not be in vain. For the music from an angel's lyre is the elixir that breathes life into my very soul.
I am here and you are there. Here I am writing this and there you are reading what my heart is telling yours. My soul belongs right here, right now, and yours still wandering, finding its way, and maybe in Fear's keeping. I am where I am for a purpose, a "sub" purpose to the one true purpose that is You.
All I hear now is silence. And I shall now relish in its beauty for just this one special moment - a moment of freedom, a space in time that is in my keeping. I hear no phones ringing, no tip-tapping keyboards, no voices telling me what to do. The flesh is in its euphoric state, free from the pressures of stress borne by a bustling day at the workplace. The heart beats with the mind's pulse, and they are both in a different dimension, united at last with a common mission to solve the puzzle together; a puzzle that never seems to run out of pieces.
The heart once spoke of Gratitude, Kindness and Love. It always has and forever will be. The mind has always been troubled, scheming, planning, analyzing and executing every precise detail to architect the massive project that is the life in the years to come. Now they share one aim: to search for the cure to this vicious cycle where Gratitude weeps when seeking more and more out of life proves meaningless, and conversely when seeking for Meaning and for :ove, there is no Gratitude and the jaws of life bites deeply leaving scars called Lessons on Reality. And so what joins both heart and mind is the realization that I need to gear my eforts into serving my sole purpose in life.
Today, I know, as with anyone else, that it is somebody for someone. Where I am now is a calling to pave the way for a whole new world, something far greater than any other story, for it is OUR story. I shall bless everyday for every drop of sand in the hourglass of time is one significant block to build our future. And though I toil with every drop of blood, sweat and tears, I know that it shall not be in vain. For the music from an angel's lyre is the elixir that breathes life into my very soul.
I am here and you are there. Here I am writing this and there you are reading what my heart is telling yours. My soul belongs right here, right now, and yours still wandering, finding its way, and maybe in Fear's keeping. I am where I am for a purpose, a "sub" purpose to the one true purpose that is You.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
"SuperHero" for A Day
Yesterday marked 1 month since a new career path began for me. It aint easy to forego a career in consultancy especially that I find myself as more of an extrovert rather than one who can stare indefinitely at words such as typedef, malloc, atoi, etc. And to confirm that this is not some dream, my career nearly zapped me lifeless yesterday. Talk about not having had dinner yet as late as 11PM, in a freezing room with 2 extremely workaholic ladies who are as much, much older than me as they are single. I would not want to end up like that. Was it by choice? Not my business.
So no Yahoo Mail, no GMail, no Meebo, no blog, no nothing for me as I was flat out tired to even push the power button of my PC. THAT TIRED! I swear this will be the first and last. This cannot be a habit because one can become two and next thing you know, you aren't already aware as to how much you have "sold" your time on Earth for $$$ and more $$$. Wait a minute, there's even no OT pay! :o
Having a good and challenging start is one thing, but too much of it at the onset can lead to an irrevocable decision where someone discretely receives a letter on an envelope and a 30-day countdown ensues. Need I say more?
Yesterday marked 1 month since a new career path began for me. It aint easy to forego a career in consultancy especially that I find myself as more of an extrovert rather than one who can stare indefinitely at words such as typedef, malloc, atoi, etc. And to confirm that this is not some dream, my career nearly zapped me lifeless yesterday. Talk about not having had dinner yet as late as 11PM, in a freezing room with 2 extremely workaholic ladies who are as much, much older than me as they are single. I would not want to end up like that. Was it by choice? Not my business.
So no Yahoo Mail, no GMail, no Meebo, no blog, no nothing for me as I was flat out tired to even push the power button of my PC. THAT TIRED! I swear this will be the first and last. This cannot be a habit because one can become two and next thing you know, you aren't already aware as to how much you have "sold" your time on Earth for $$$ and more $$$. Wait a minute, there's even no OT pay! :o
Having a good and challenging start is one thing, but too much of it at the onset can lead to an irrevocable decision where someone discretely receives a letter on an envelope and a 30-day countdown ensues. Need I say more?