Dark day for our business. Ayala management just informed us today that they are doing a rezoning of the shops in the mall. As of now, shops such as Chedz, Orange Brutus, Persian Plate, Caf� Wien, RaiRai Ken, AV Surfer and our store were asked to relocate to a new location within the mall. Contracts of shops in Ayala are on a per year basis, so they won�t renew our contract unless we move out to another space. *sigh� We can�t do anything since it�s their mall!!! If we only knew about this, we should have taken that space now occupied by Shakey�s when it was offered to us a few months ago� *sigh� life has a way of adding more to our woes. Maybe it�s a sign that we should stop doing business with Ayala. It�s so difficult to be working with them. They demand a lot and they give us only little room to work with. It�s as if we�re working our @$$*s for them and they don�t seem to give a $**t about how we feel. For now, we have our eyes set at SM or someplace outside the malls. If you peeps know of a space for lease somewhere in uptown Cebu, or any place between Banilad and Capitol, please inform me. We�d really appreciate all the help we can get at this moment. Thanks and till here. I don�t feel like blogging at all. Take care peeps and hope everything happens for the best.

The beach was fun. Lunch was great! I ate a lot.. hehehe. Our bosses rented a jetski and a banana boat. I wasn't able to ride the banana boat since I thought it wasn't that much fun compared to the jetski ride. I got to drive the jetski twice. And for the second drive, I tried to drive it like a Ferrari on water. Hehehe... It's fun to drive against the waves pala. You get the strong bumps and you'd love the wave challenge. hehehe. My face got slightly burned through the wind friction. I reached home at around 4:30 and slept all the way from then till now. Hehehe... I'm so tired. Have to eat dinner and sleep again. What a pig! hehehe... Till here peeps.

I don�t feel so good about blogging this, but I just have to since this is my blog and it�s important that I write this down so that I could read this someday and see what has become of it. It�s definitely an important chapter in my life as this is the first trial I faced with the girl I love. I hope that if any of you know the persons involved, please, under any circumstance, do not CONFRONT or SPEAK OF IT. Promise me this. I leave it to your conscience to decide what�s right. I don�t want this to be big. You are privileged to read this out of my trust in you. You wouldn�t want me to lose my trust in you.

Are we okay with that? So here it goes:

Something happened last night. I was sleepy and was waiting for some downloads to finish. I chat always when I have a basket full of files to download. I said a few things over at mIRC� my views and feelings about my current situation, which I feel is personal and which I felt I shared out of trust that the person would understand and keep it to herself. I was very open with what I felt knowing that she�s a common friend of both of us and I believe I could trust her well enough. Little did I know that my openness was taken for granted. She emailed the minutes of our chat to this girl I like so much. And so late this afternoon at Ayala, I got to read the email my girl sent me last night. She expressed that she was hurt by the things I said to her friend about how I see things right now. I was confused last night and maybe I said those things because I wasn�t sure of how she felt for me. I receive different kinds of signals from her, so I guess I�m entitled to react that way. Nevertheless, it was wrong of me to get my insecurities and impatience in the way of loving someone as nice as her. I just said what I felt inside to this friend of ours� things that I believe shouldn�t reach her ear since I was just ranting out of frustration. I didn�t mean my words. As I said, I was just ranting. When people rant, they engage in nonsense talk which they usually end up regretting to have said. True in this case. Lesson learned: John, when you�re sleepy, don�t chat. Go to bed!

And so it was that my hands shook terribly. My head split. My heart pounded fast not knowing what to do now that I�ve hurt the person whom I couldn�t ever afford to hurt. I can�t risk being in this jittery situation since we have a history of heart disease and I think I have fractions of it too. I then rushed to the counter to pay my internet usage and I rushed to pick up a nice bouquet at Holland Tulips, rode on a speeding cab and personally gave the bouquet to her in the bank to ask for forgiveness. We talked for a while outside and she was smiling at me. No trace whatsoever of how hurt she was last night. How could someone manage to smile at me like that after the things I said? If not for the chismoso security guards who were staring at us, I would have cried infront of her out of shame. We clarified a few things and she was just thanking me for the flowers the whole time. I would have wanted to give her my first bouquet of BETTER flowers at a more opportune and happy time, but I guess things have a way of ruining my �plans�� things that are beyond control. As to the hidden purpose of God�s move today, I don�t know what He has in mind. All I know is that I did the right thing by saying sorry. And she was nice to forgive me.

In her email, she was disappointed in me, but I liked a few phrases she said, especially this in particular. I wrote it in her own original words which are now immortal in my heart. This was what she had to say.

�...i know that i like you,but is this feeling real,if love means that ur always thinking of the person,then maybe im in love with you.but love is infinite and for me undescribable...�

how nice. =)

Anyway, she�s on her way to Dumaguete for a trip with Diane and Lolo. God bless their way and I hope she�ll have fun moments there. As for me, beach outing tomorrow with Lexmark peeps. Gotta sleep! No chat for John tonight! Good night peeps!

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I was testing this new blog service I just recently knew about. You can afterall post blog by emailing it to Blogger. Kewl! Another dicovery today was this: try to read through my archives at www.johnalim.blogspot.com/johnalim_archive.html Take a look at my post on November 16, 2003 that's a Sunday of what went on during November 15, 2003, a Saturday. Read the paragraphs nearing the end. Notice that during that time, my world was out cold. My site's title then was World On Ice. I was numb and frozen emotionally. And then I mention something about someone attempting to heat up my frozen world. So I shunned the thought naturally, but take a look now. That same person who threatened my frozen world is now the person who keeps my world warm and cozy. You can't really tell what's in store for you. Amazing at how magic works!

Had the best time last Saturday night with friends. Dinner at Big Mao, then karaoke to the max at K1!!! Hahahaha! My darling Angel can SING!!!! I was so amazed! Fun, fun, fun. Our finale song was �That Thing You Do�. Second to the last song was �Katawan� hahahahaha! The girls were all laughing hysterically at us guys when we (me, Boogie and Kiwi) went wild over the song. Hahahahaha! By the way, Unilever called me up just this Saturday through my mobile. I�ve been chosen for the preliminary interview with simulation I�m so happy!!!

On the other hand, I�m thinking a lot about something. Even on Angel�s Wings, I have to throw down some anchors too once in a while �coz the GIRL sends different signs. Ano nga ba talaga? Remember the quote"Don't say I love you if you don't mean it. And if you do, then say it!" heheheh I�m sure at the end of this, I�ll be the confused one, not her anymore. Wanna put a bet on that? You�re on! Do I hear a 500? hehehe

I'm so looking forward to next week... NO CLASSES!!!! Intramurals week next week. My friend Kittin will be our muse for the College of Engineering. Hope she wins the title as Miss Intrams 2004. Helped her a bit last night with her walk. Hopefully she could get the poses and her walk. I've coached 2 beauties already who all made it to the crown... hehehe. I hope she could win the title! I'll try to watch the opening, but sad to say even if no classes, we have duty at Lexmark during the mornings.

I'm also looking forward to our beach adventure this coming Saturday at Cebu Beach Club. Our bosses from U.S.A. wil be coming over in time for our product launch and they will be throwing a beach party for all of us on the team. Yipee!

Till here 'coz I have to start composing the letter I promised to send her through snail mail. Hehehe... this keeps getting better and better. Till here peeps! Like my new template? I wanna hear what you peeps think of it? I think it's too "girlie" hehehe... but oh well I like it the way it is. hehehe

My birthday was YESTERDAY. Forgot to post since by the time I reached the house, I immediately hit the sack. I slept late for my birthday. Was doing emails as late as 3AM, nakaYM ko pa si Lisa... hehehe. Slept at around 4, then had to wake up at 6:30 to eat miswa (a meal customary for birthdays) and then head off to Lexmark for duty.

Then my hands were always on the mobile since people were there to greet me sa text. Si Leslie lang talaga nag greet sa akin by calling my phone... kaya lang late cya one day. Hehehe Today lang tumawag... hehehe... pero OK lang talaga. It's good to hear your voice all the way from Manila.

Well, my birthday swept like just an ordinary day. Attended my classes after work straight from 12 noon all the way to 4:30, then had dinner at Mayi with mom and bro. Sarap ng lambchops! And due to the red wine, flat ako sa pag-uwi. Wasn't able pa nga to open my much awaited email at the end of the day. So here I am at Metro Cafe reading my email and posting blog. Still enjoying my break here at Ayala till 5, then have to go to school for my evening classes. Take care you peeps and God Bless!

�When you love someone you�d move heaven and earth to prove your love to them. And while you�re doing all that moving and heaving, you feel the rush, the strength of Hercules and the might of Zeus, that not even the threat of Hades could stand in your way. And when all is done and paradise becomes that sparkling diamond right before your eyes, your body begins to shake in weary. And as you fall nearly to your knees, your muse, to whom all that effort was for, catches you in her loving arms and nurses you to the care of Eden�s shade. As you awaken, that blurry image you see is Helen. Deep inside your heart, you know that not only have you taken to sea a thousand ships, you shook earth and defied the gods to hold time within the palm of your hands. And so at the end of the voyage, you realize that time is indeed worth more than gold. Thus, it is the most treasured gift you could ever offer to the one your heart beats just for.�

�Yesterday, I fought the hard rain, the stormy wind and the will of my greatest enemy just to be with YOU. A week seems like a year�s wait, but every moment with you passes by like hours turned to seconds. Thank you for being by my side always, for wanting to be with me, for your warmth and thoughtfulness and for being the sun that rises my morning day and the last twinkle of a star before I close my eyes.� I thank God in my prayers always for letting someone like you come my way.�

T.G.I.F.!!!

No more exams for me... 'coz most of my teachers postponed the exams to next week.... grrr... if that's the case then why'd they have to schedule midterms week this week anyway. Sick teachers, wasting our time in studying only to surprise us with "No exam, next week na lang." And they seem so proud that by doing that they're making us happy! They're just prolonging the agony, but it's still there beckoning upon us like a hawk ready to prance on its prey. Imagine I had to study late into the night even if I was having difficulty breathing thanks to my flu, and come exam day... tadah! They shoot your determined efforts to hell. Crappy teachers, should have been a better stude in Ateneo. Damn this school, not even the teachers I admire could make me appreciate this wretched school. There's no saving grace for it. Konting tiis na lang. 7 months and I'm outta the pig sty.

Even if no school for me today, had to wake up early to go to work. Work was fine, boss was nice enough not to batter us to pieces. Felt better after working. It's because of the joys of work that makes me not want to go to school anymore. Learning and memorizing all those useless info which won't be used in the workplace... I mean, who asks you about computer history at work, or who asks you to define ENIAC in Lexmark??? puhleezzzz...

So I'm now at home recuperating. I'll be fine by 8 more hours of rest... my angst is an indicator that I'm getting better. I can feel the energy getting back to me. In the meantime, I just have to take a nap and probably think of what I will be doing tomorrow afternoon. Gonna do overtime at Lexmark tomorrow morning to test some problematic issues. We're gonna be paid for O.T. so it means more money, besides it's better to be working on a Saturday morning than just be flat on bed like a pig.! It's gonna be SATURDAY in less than 6 hours! Yipee, my favorite day of the week, here I come!

I thought smiling all day could do wonders for your health. Well, it's rather peculiar that I woke up with a very sore throat, head throbbing and so tired. Hmmm... I went to work and was nearly late since I really didn't feel like going in today. Damn rainy weather! So when I reached Lexmark, the office was friggin cold... and as a result, my throat's condition worsened, then suddenly I had a runny nose. I can't breathe well and was cold all over. Suddenly I felt warm outside and cold inside. FEVER! So I wore my jacket, but still was feverish. Then of all days, today was the busiest day throughout my entire stay at Lexmark. I even had to do ovetime to finish my work. It was a good thing midterms week ngayon so I didn't have a 12:00 class to catch. Then aside from my work, I had to help my other officemates troubleshoot their printers since many of the equipment were rather uncooperative today. So had to entertain them at the same time work on my stuff. For a moment there my throat wasn't sore and the fever was gone. And then I got to have lunch at around 1:00 already. I couldn't taste the pasta 'coz of my runny nose. And in the process of eating, I bit my tongue. Ouch! It really hurts!!! It's still bleeding till now (time check 5:00PM). It really hurts even afer taking mefenamic!!! I really got to bite hard and I really felt my teeth punch in so deeply. It was like eating my own meat! eeewww...

After that agonizing trip in the jeep to school, I took my midterm exams for ComE52 at 2:00. I was scared 'coz it's the subject that has been bothering me. At first set up, our circuit did not work, so troubleshoot, troubleshoot troubleshoot. And then at around 4:00, our program and circuit understood each other and that was 100 points for us! Yipee! I'm so happy! Felt relieved and very happy afterwards. It certainly felt as if I hit a jackpot or something. Gave out a loud hurrah inside the lab just to release that anxiety that has been building up inside. Hehehe...

I'm so happy now despite my health condition. Got my ComE52 exam and I also got a text this morning from Sassy Girl wishing me good luck sa midterms. So that's the first exam this week I aced for her. Lakas talaga ng tama ng isang babae sa isang lalaki! *mushy mush mush... wakekekeke Hope my other exams will also have that kind of result.

So now I'm at TAP TC surfing the net and checking people's blogs. Hehehe... I'll be fetched at 5:30 yet, so tll then I'll just be bum'n around the world wide web. hehehe Good luck peeps in your midterms!

Hmmm... I was so happy during our make-up laboratory in ComE 52. Finally the wires, circuits and devices were willing to cooperate! We got +10 bonus for tomorrow's exam. Till here 'coz have to read my favorite email before I sleep for tomorrow's first day of midterms. To all those taking exams, good luck!

^___________________^ She likes me! But "like" still has to be refined whether as a friend or as more than that. So I'll just have to wait... even if it takes forever... hahahaha! I'm so happy that we still do emails as usual and that she still talks and texts with me. 'kala ko mawala na ang tao sa akin. She's really one nice girl... one that any guy would be proud to introduce to his 'rentz. And that makes me love her even more!

*hoping for a miracle!

I finally did what a guy has to do. And now my muse knows how I truly feel. She chuckles and keeps on joking about it. I don't know if she took me seriously or not, but I have done my part. Clock struck 7 and we had to go separate ways. I to my commander and she to something she had to do, which she said is "secret". And now she's on top of the world. It was tired being on top, but it would now be a wonderful challenge to be below. I don't know how she feels, but all I could do is wait till she finds herself and how she truly feels for me. All I could ask for is a chance, and if I get more than a chance then it would be the blessing I've waited for for so many years. May it finally be love. Let it be a match made in Heaven!

Today's a holiday here since it's Charter Day for Cebu Province, so no class. I made good use of my day today. We made much progress in our thesis project. We just finished the entire Chapter 1 of our documentation. I now have a clearer view of how this will turn out to be. I feel so happy 'coz we had fun writing the introduction for our thesis documentation. I could say that our thesis topic is very scientific, but somehow we wrote our introduction rather catchy, modern and non-technical. By reading it once, you know that the researchers are YOUNG people. hehehe.

We had lunch here at home with my groupmates and I just got home from dropping them off at the corner. We'll be going to Ayala any minute now. Till then. Ciao!

Hmmm... Les, are you sure? It doesn't seem like that from the emails we have everyday. But then, I could be wrong. I was never good with reading women's minds. Anyway, talk nya ta, not here, but maybe in my email. Email me k? johnalexanderlim@yahoo.com But I think I'd still pursue 'coz you know me too well not to be a quitter. And you know very well how extremely special this girl is to me.

I think it will work. It just has to. It's about time someone saves my life. I'll blog more tomorrow. I'm so tired already. Gonna sleep with this on my face ^_________^