Just came home after watching Ella Enchanted. Very nice movie and very entertaining. I can't wait till Princess Diaries 2. Spent the afternoon just at the mall reading the newspaper and solving the crossword puzzle. Such a boring afternoon went to waste. I'm craving for the beach. How I wish I could get some seabreeze so as to free my mind from whimsies. Till here, I don't feel like blogging.

Never mind the rains, but I just like the weather. It's cold and hardly any sun. Feels just like being in Baguio, but not. hehehe. *sigh. It took me a long while to get myself out of bed, since my bed was too cozy for me to rise up and get myself up to work as early as 7:30 AM at Lexmark. Just have to be thankful for the job, 'coz it also speeds up my day and I derive enjoyment from it too. I feel that time flies really fast while I'm working at Lexmark. Then time slows down in school, really super duper slow.

When I get home, first thing I do is to log on to the net. All throughout the day, whether at work or school, I always look forward to going home already to open my Friendster inbox. I know that at the end of the day, there's something waiting for me at home, ready for me to relish such indulgence. I'm so thankful that in this information age, there are so many ways already for people to communicate, so I guess there's no reason for us to make excuses anymore. Thanks to the power of email, I get to communicate with HER during weekdays. We've found out that texting is not enough and it's tedious to push 'em buttons when there's a nice conversation going on. Chatting on mIRC or on the phone encourages shallow cheap talk and it discourages deep thought, so email is the best way to communicate. It's been 5 straight days of this already and I still crave for more conversations with HER.

I dunno what plans there are for Saturday... but if there's a nice movie then at least I could skip a day of emailing to really get to talk with the person personally. *sigh. I really dunno what I'm feeling now. Giving in to emotions has been a disaster for me too many times already. Holding back my feelings would be an injustice and unhealthy. But as Lisa said, one who doesn't risk loses more. And I don't wanna lose this great person the Lord has sent to me. A guy's got to do what a guy's got to do, and if destiny and God wills it, then so be it.

SHE asked me yesterday what my website URL is and I refused to give. I had a hard time declining, but SHE was nice enough to understand. Should I have given her the URL or not? I think I was right in doing so, or was I. Argh! I guess it could wait till THE DAY. *sigh! When would that DAY come anyway?!?! I'm starting to talk nonsense already, so till here 'coz I'm about to be fetched from school. Till my next post, take care y'all.

I don't know where I stand.  Somehow I've become too cynical to even see the joy in the little gestures others do.  It's never difficult to please someone, but why do I make it so difficult for myself to sustain joy in all its forms.  Someone please donate a few nerve endings to my cause.  Maybe all I need is to once again bloom like a wildflower on the first day of spring.  I'm scared, I'm confused as to how I feel.  I'm like Data, curious about human emotion and yet void of it.

Sometimes I feel that studying computers has made me into one.  Please click my START button.

This day is definitely THE day of the week!  Can't stop smiling.  See.... ^_________________________^

Someone just made my day and my week.  That's just 5 hours, but definitely time flew so fast that I just couldn't get enough of it.

I'm at TC blogging. Just came from eTelecare to visit Leslie before she goes to Manila for her trip. Magpakabait ka dun ha... or else... hwag ka nang bumalik dito. hahaha! jok3X Seriously, take good care of yourself in Manila. Maraming gago at manloloko dyan, plus lots of temptations to spend money unwisely on gimiks. And please, please lang, as what I've told you don't spend too much time with *toot. Mas mabuti if you could concentrate with your training there, okay??? I hope you get to learn a lot from your training so you'll get promoted fast. Gusto ko ring magkaroon ng mga rich friends, you know. hahaha!

Don't worry, alagaan ko nang mabuti yung bestpren mo. Tulungan mo naman ako nang kahit paminsan-minsan lang even if you'll be in Manila already. Alam mo naman how serious I am about *toot. :p Blog once in a while naman para we'll know how you're doing. Mahal na ang piso kasi. :p Cge, take care. Sori talaga that I'll have to skip on your dispidida. My class ends at 8:30 and I haven't asked permission 'coz I just knew the change of schedule just late last night. Sabagay, I visited you naman kanina, so I hope magkitakita tayo very soon. 4 months is just a very short period of time, so make the most of it and have fun with your new job. Ingatz!

I'm living a life of a swaying compass. No direction at all. In the office, not much mork nowadays. I dunno why, but suddenly I feel as if they're paying us to just endure the freezing cold office. In school, our discussions go nowhere. It's like high school was a lot more challenging. So what's there for me to do? I'm wasting time... I'm idle. Somebody give me direction. Make me do something, instruct me, order me, demand me, keep me busy. I'm young and I'm supposed to keep busy. Idle time is for old folks. I'm ranting already. Enough! Maybe some other day. Tomorrow will just be the same as today, just as today was the tomorrow I predicted yesterday.
*listening to some trance music. Hopefully I get into a comma and never wake up from it. Better to be a cabbage than endure the agony of boredom.

If I had a blowtorch at my disposal, I'd want to burn my room's aircon to the last piece of ash I could extract from it. The aircon's fuse blew due to a malfunction in the aircon's main capacitor. So instead of spending my afternoon as I planned last night, I ended up having to stay at home to supervise the mechanic upon orders of my mom. What's worse was that the mechanic, after an hour of fixing, told us that he couldn't fix it and that he'll be back on Monday to replace the busted parts. That definitely blew my fuse and I was really steaming with disgust. Of all days to pick, it had to blow up today! F*%k!
What can I do??? Saturday is only the day I get to enjoy after 5 days of working and studying. And my day of fun was just shot to hell! Oh well, what can I achieve by ranting, so I just watched the Mike Francis concert... Just arrived home from the concert where I had lots of fun listening to the music and the beat. People were in high spirits and the person beside me was dancing like there's no tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun, but definitely not enough to cover my awful afternoon date with the stupid aircon. This cannot be happening to me!!! What now? Any plans to shoot my Sunday to hell as well???

Congratulations to Leslie for getting the job at eTelecare!  Told you you'd make it.  After your training, our offices will just be a road and a few floors apart.  Bisita2X lang! hehehe  It's so nice to see friends already working.  Makes you feel quite grown-up though (everyone has to anyway), but surely it feels good to be a productive citizen.
 
I'm so happy now that I can't sleep.  *sigh.  I have Sassy Girl to thank for this wonderful feeling.  So how do I sleep so I could wake up in time for tomorrow's 8:30 class.  Hmm...
 
Tomorrow is a busy day ahead.  Thesis work tomorrow morning then in the afternoon will be time spent with Jeon Ji Hyun to buy her dress for a wedding.  Hmmm....  Then in the evening, I'll be spending time with family.  We'll be watching the Mike Francis concert at the Ayala Activity Center.  My days couldn't get any better than this.
 
Someone once told me that she draws strength from the Lord even though her tough nature doesn't seem to show.  I'm glad that her words made me reconsider the fate of my soul and I'm glad that my faith in HIM has never been as strong as ever.  Thanks a bunch for welcoming me back to the flock.

5 Candles
Yesterday, I knew I was going to have a long and probably a rough day ahead of me. So as I was on my way to USC Main for a Unilever Career Recruitment, I passed by Sto. Rosario Church to light 5 candles� 5 separate candles for 5 distinct petitions for the day. Sometimes a positive attitude or simply knowing that God has listened to your plea actually releases my mind free from having to think of the bumpy road ahead. With a light heart and a worry-free mind, I took the next few steps to USC Main.

Choosing Among Infinite Dreams
I was too early for the 9:00 recruitment. I reached school as early as 7:30, since that�s the only time I get to have a free ride to school (and to Lexmark on ordinary working days) when my Tita Lynn is on her way to the office near Capitol. I was just walking around, exploring the school during its more silent wee hours. USC Main is eerie when you see no people around, but given the same situation in TC, it feels as if you have a vacation house all to yourself, nyahahaha. And so at 8:45, I returned back to room 426 where the recruitment was to be held, and there I met some of my classmates. Many were invited from the different courses, but majority of those who showed up were the engineering students most of whom are friends of mine from the other councils and previous sophomore year IE classmates.

And at around 9:30 came the Unilever recruitment team. Just as I guessed, it was Vincent Sandoval who was to handle our recruitment. He�s our high school batch valedictorian who�s now working at Unilever in Manila. And so the recruitment went on� we were to apply for a coveted spot to enter their �Business Week� � a 5 day gathering of our country�s top graduates who are to receive training in business/marketing, etc. in Manila on October 18-22. Mr. Ray Villaflores, Visayas Area Manager of Unilever, also a former Carolinian, gave us a very inspirational talk, which made me think a lot. Though Unilever is more of marketing, sales and finance rather than computers and I.T., I started thinking as to how to run this course called �Knowing What Role You Want To Play�.

My dream cloud was suddenly challenged. Now I�m confused whether to take Masters in Computer Science or whether I should instead get an MBA. Having a masters degree definitely is an edge, but the issue here is whether to pursue the technical aspect of a job or to shift to the business side of it. Sad reality of the working world is that managers who don�t even know how to make a simple computer program like printing �Hello World� on the computer screen are paid much much higher than technical engineers who have the better knowhow and skills. Maybe I�m just frustrated with my course now. Should have taken Computer Science! In Lexmark, I could see how useless my course is, and to think Lexmark is the top choice for Computer Eng�g graduates. I could imagine how even more useless this course is to the other companies out there. If ever there�s some use of it, the pay is low and not commensurate to our credentials.

Hmm� maybe an MBA would be best. Gotta give Ateneo a second try. Listening to Tina Arena�s �Burn� fits my confused situation!

Of Trust and Growth
After the Unilever recruitment, I went to TC. Had lunch at the restaurant across owned by Fritz, Darrell and Andrew to support the business they put up after graduating. Try their sausage meals. Clock struck 1:30, left Diner and went to TC for our USC Robotics Club elections. I can see brighter grounds for the club. I�ve had several differences in the past few months with Melvin, this year�s president. But, from yesterday�s meeting, I guess he isn�t so bad afterall. I think he could do a better job this year with the club rallying behind him. I�ve promised to back him up in areas where I�m more knowledgable, but I�m sure those �areas� are just too minimal and are� like on a special case only. More funds to raise this time with more members and bigger dreams to build. I�m now wondering why I was so against him. Maybe the things that happened just struck my pride� something I�m rather sensitive about, I being a Leo. What�s pride anyway without the capacity to make things happen. So now I have to put my trust in him, and helping him make this club I started grow to what I�ve envisioned it to be. I just realized that things like these are analogous to family business empires. A generation builds, but it has to be the next generation that will make it grow and then the next destroys it� hehe. I don�t think the third phase would apply, just the 1st and second. Letting go can make you grow.

Shuttle Cock and Pizza
The meeting ended sometime 3:15. Got picked up at school by mom and was dropped off at Metro Sports to play badminton with Leslie, Dianne, Rouselle, KenKen, EngEng, Lolo, Pancit and Anton. My sweat was dripping as I played the game since the place was rather warm. Met Karen Dy and Mimi playing at the court across ours. Nice exercise really and I enjoyed playing a lot. Now my right arm and hips hurt.

After 2 hours of playing, we went to pig out at MB�s in Mactan. Finally I was able to go to that resto which so many people have been telling me about. It was my first time there and I loved the food instantly. The pizza was tastly (I still like Il Sole�s and Paparazzi�s Capriciossa and La Gondola�s Wasabi Pizza) and their steak with mashed potato was also one of the best I�ve tasted. A heavy downpour came and the sky was well lit with streaks of lightning and suddenly poof, the lights went out. Probably the heavens did not favor our pigging out after s weight-loss exercise such as badminton� hehehe From dinner till the time Dianne dropped me off home, we had a conversation which rather stirred up the hornets nest of our emotional beehive. And while inside the Corolla Altis, my head was throbbing. I couldn�t make sense of what I was talking about. And I was clueless as to whether what I was saying even made sense to whoever was listening. I�ve been through with my �counselor� and �advice-giving� days for so long already. I no longer know how to give advice to people since for me, life is already a personal choice. People make their own decisions and should live up to the consequences thereof. We can only do as much as tell them what we have to say about it. They�ll listen, but we can�t expect them to think the way we do. And with that philosophy in mind, I tenured my resignation from the �guidance� department so long ago.

When 3+1=4 Is An Equation That Could Take Forever To Analyze
I�m crying out loud here! Sometimes the things that you�re supposed to be happy about gives you the creeps. Or maybe it�s just me. Going to MB�s and on the way home, I was seated beside the person that gives me the same feeling as when I sneeze� makes my heart skip a beat. Weird analogy, but hey it�s true! To be smiling inside or to think of 3+1=4. In software engineering, risk analysis requires an understanding of history and experience from previous situations. In this case, I could say my CompE course has benefited me to this extent ONLY. Could this be the reason why some people quit the chase simply because they�re afraid that they would lose their friendship in the process? Now I know why someone once told me that it could happen. And now its me who�s feeling this way. This is not healthy talk, but I feel like defying the health dictates of the heart. Here�s something I�d like to hear from you people. When you�re alone with the person you feel so much affection for, you could have a nice conversation going and could simply have your minds speak as one, but when in the company of friends you just can�t say a thing or even walk an inch closer to the person. Why is it that before being more than friends you need to be friends first (literally obvious!), but once you�re friends it gets to that point where you�d stop to think whether you�d like to see the road ahead or not.

When your significant other does something nice for you like treating you to a movie, treating you for dessert or having some CDs burned just for you or simply texting you almost everyday or every other day, how do you know if that person is doing that because she�s just a nice, thoughtful friend or because she shares the same feeling as you do? And let�s say it�s the second case, assuming of course that she likes you back too, if you�re afraid to cross the line, it certainly isn�t nice to keep a lady waiting� am I right? As what my friend Faith said, it only takes one month before the giddy feeling fades to oblivion. Is this true? Kittin said one week only. Hehehe� And now, I see just that. It�s not like as it was before. Maybe she�s gone tired of thinking about it. I don�t wanna lose the person, but if I�d try to see the road ahead, maybe I�d really lose the person. But if I don�t maybe I�d still get to keep her. IF IF and more Ifs Wouldn�t want that person to be �The one that got away� *sigh. This sucks more than having to go to school every waking day. I�d appreciate your thoughts please.

Gotta do my software engineering powerpoint presentation for next week�s reporting. Thanks for reading btw.

Blogging from school again... haven't been here for a while. Was so happy yesterday 'coz we finally had a topic for our thesis, after weeks of brainstorming. Well, as usual, happiness was shortlived... (I'm getting used to it anyway). Today, we just learned that the ME team whom we are working the project with backed out since they are rather uneasy with Sir Morante as their adviser. I still have to talk to Carl Taguiam to reverse his decision. It's a very nice project that could benefit a farming community in Agusan. Our project was to develop a system that enables the farmers to plow a rice field even when the water level of the field is high. Its a very nice project... first of its kind... when a thesis would be handled simultaneously across 3 engineering fields... that's Computer Eng'g, Mechanical Eng'g and Civil Eng'g. Our advisers would be one from each department with panelists of 3 faculty members per department. I just hope Carl would continue... it's a very wonderful opportunity indeed. If not, then we'll have to continue with our neck-wrecking brainstorming sessions again. *sigh.

Only one thought keeps me smiling and jolly these days. Hope it won't be shortlived like the rest!

Gave my PC a facelift today. A virus has been blocking me from entering anti-virus sites. Finally got it fixed. Took me all afternoon to install softwares back to normal. I'm watching Formula 1 right now with my bro. Work and school again tomorrow. Looking forward already to Saturday! hahaha!

I'm blogging from school. Thank God it's Friday. My week's been a whirlwind... so full of vibrant color... happy and stressful moments. Balance, once again. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Hopefully, I could just relax and not be thinking of too many things. *sigh! Anyway, wla lang ko lingaw ron... jst blogging, chattng and adding up some new found friends. Hi Lisa! Finally I get to know who you are. Kewl pics by the way! Is that Nokia HQ in Helsinki?