HALFWAY
I'm a day past half of my vacation time here in Cebu. It's been just 7 days, and I'm now slowly accepting that all of this "euphoria" will have to be stashed in memory in a few days. It's been non-stop dining with parties and dinners left and right. And a lot of my energies has been devoted to talking with people, sharing thoughts, ideas, plans and just plain catching up.
Being away from my hometown for a very long time has made me an alien/foreigner in my own birthplace. Family will always be family, they'll always have arms and doors open for me. As to my friends, I initially felt this weird sense of hesitation. Dissecting the stimulus would start with this odd sense of unfamiliarity, as if you were invited to a party wherein you're the new guy and everyone's eager to get to know you (translated: you'd be the person whose mind they'd like to read). Going down further, you'd like to take a step back to look around and just observe, sit and be a well-mannered guest. And as you reach further, you realize, "Hey, I know you!" but then again you will get a nudge inside yourself saying, "It's been a year of separation. Are you sure you know this friend?" And then it iterates, one inch deeper at a time. This happens when one doesn't take full advantage of email, websms, webchat, webetcetera. I'm guilty!
I have realized that it now takes tremendous effort to put even just two people together to sit and talk and have both feel comfortable about the whole thing. Yes, I've gotten a fair share of really warm and assuring YES's, and I've also received a lot of uncertain responses which means they are busy (which is understandable with the time they need to spend with their loved ones at this special occasion) or they just don't like to see me. In a way, I admit that I am disappointed, and I recognize that I have made my mistakes in the past and yes people do remember, and despite the season of Christmas being a time to spread love, not all of us can expect others to treat Christmas in the same way.
I know that this trip home would really be about Christmas, that is:
1. To share the joy that God has blessed me this year - I've been expressing my gratitude in many ways. I earnestly hope that I have gotten my message across to many and to those who came to listen and to those reading this who know they have been there for me, I will resound that message here, "Thank you very much for your friendship, for your contribution and effort! And most of all, thank you very much for believing!" A lot has changed for the better and these things would not have come without the persistence and inspiration of many. And losses have translated into gains, for with freedom comes growth and a realization that birds are really meant to fly and when they are enjoying the air beneath their wings, it is time to thank God for the unique purpose He has given to each one of us. These days, I continually ask God to help me let go of the things that are not meant for me, to trust in His plan, to allow Him to break me and purify me so that when I am worthy the Lord Almighty shall grant His promise. Jesus take the wheel.
2. To witness how my hometown has grown throughout my absence - There's a lot to love about this place. I've gone around town and I can see a lot has changed too. Many new places to go, and the lifestyle has changed a bit too with all these new places for people to congregate and be entertained. Would have been nice to join Sinulog once more but I'm glad enough to spend Christmas and New Year in Cebu.
3. To be there for some people hoping that 12 days can make up for a year's time - 12 days is what I can offer and if in a year's time, today will seem just like tomorrow's yesterday then I would have time-traveled. lol! Seriously, it is amazing what one can do in 12 days to make up for a whole year's worth of time. There is beauty in living life as if there were no tomorrow. I can see how precious my time here is and from that I can see value in the hours and minutes I spend with the people that I value as well.
4. To tighten loose ends, to revisit neglected friendships, to recognize and value the real ones - I have 5 days to go and I can only have God as my witness to this humbling and insightful journey of the soul.
Halfway through it, I can say that yes, it IS Christmas.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
SURPRISED
I was beaten in my own game and boy, I loved it!
I just had the craziest shopping weekend that blew a hole right through my wallet, and my shoe. This is what I'd like to call panic buying when you just have 48 hours to buy 6 people the best gifts you could ever think of without even knowing what they are wishing for this Christmas. Imagine traversing through the 3 shopping districts of Singapore all on foot! I could have just bought all 6 from one of the 3 major department stores: Tangs, Takashimaya and Isetan, but I decided to sweat it out and put a personal touch on all 6. I am trying new things, being more open to many things, especially towards change. So it comes with this that I embraced what someone in our Christmas party said (in typical Singlish construction), "Don't just buy anything hor. Must do some research as to what the person may need or like to receive."
So with an aching foot dipped in a pail of warm water, I finally sat down fulfilled that I have finished my Christmas shopping last night. I was planning to hand out 4 of the gifts (for my housemates) tonight prior to my flight to Cebu, BUT as we were all gathered in the living room enjoying some Christmas music, Aimee brought out a small paper bag with a wrapped gift inside. It was from all of them. I was completely stunned. Surprise! They urged me to open the gift infront of all of them. As I opened the gift, I couldn't believe what I saw. They got me a very unique money clip ;) I simply loved it because just yesterday afternoon, I was shopping for one for myself but couldn't really find a nice one (as I was distracted by the thought that I still have 3 more gifts to buy with just 4 hours left!) The gift I received was just P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I am picky with wallets (coz I use them till they get lost or till they are so worn out), and surely this one I got is hard to find, and definitely deserves a 10 out of 10!
The best part of the gift which I am still enjoying now is the thought of how all 4 of them planned it all. No wonder Ivan was always on the phone the whole time we were shopping at Vivo, and why Karen and Aimee were not home till 11. I remember Aimee arriving home with a McDonald's plastic bag with a burger meal, and then asking us, "Is there dinner food?" And I replied, "Huh? Haven't had dinner yet? Aiyah, cannot shop all evening and not have dinner yet lah!" True enough, she had her dinner at 11, if you call a McDonald's burger meal dinner food that is. I'm touched. I really am and this gift will indeed have a very sentimental value to me. Whoever tries to take this from me will have all his fingers cut! haha!
Finally, my extremely worn out wallet can retire and have a Merry Christmas this year! It has seen many places around the world already. I'm keeping this old wallet as it is the only one that has retired in my keeping. The rest have either been MIA or executed by terrorist thieves.
Moving on, I decided to give out the gifts to them instead of waiting for one more day. As they opened their gifts, they too were surprised to see what I had for them. It was a gift in itself to see them figure out how I knew what to give them ;) It takes a lot of observation skills, a lot of cheeky-ness and time spent with them to know all that. It was a very wonderful evening where everyone experienced a warm Christmas gathering despite how far we are all from our families.
Let's see how Christmas morn will be with my plans for my brother and my Mom. It's definitely a surprise to match what I just enjoyed last night!
I was beaten in my own game and boy, I loved it!
I just had the craziest shopping weekend that blew a hole right through my wallet, and my shoe. This is what I'd like to call panic buying when you just have 48 hours to buy 6 people the best gifts you could ever think of without even knowing what they are wishing for this Christmas. Imagine traversing through the 3 shopping districts of Singapore all on foot! I could have just bought all 6 from one of the 3 major department stores: Tangs, Takashimaya and Isetan, but I decided to sweat it out and put a personal touch on all 6. I am trying new things, being more open to many things, especially towards change. So it comes with this that I embraced what someone in our Christmas party said (in typical Singlish construction), "Don't just buy anything hor. Must do some research as to what the person may need or like to receive."
So with an aching foot dipped in a pail of warm water, I finally sat down fulfilled that I have finished my Christmas shopping last night. I was planning to hand out 4 of the gifts (for my housemates) tonight prior to my flight to Cebu, BUT as we were all gathered in the living room enjoying some Christmas music, Aimee brought out a small paper bag with a wrapped gift inside. It was from all of them. I was completely stunned. Surprise! They urged me to open the gift infront of all of them. As I opened the gift, I couldn't believe what I saw. They got me a very unique money clip ;) I simply loved it because just yesterday afternoon, I was shopping for one for myself but couldn't really find a nice one (as I was distracted by the thought that I still have 3 more gifts to buy with just 4 hours left!) The gift I received was just P-E-R-F-E-C-T. I am picky with wallets (coz I use them till they get lost or till they are so worn out), and surely this one I got is hard to find, and definitely deserves a 10 out of 10!
The best part of the gift which I am still enjoying now is the thought of how all 4 of them planned it all. No wonder Ivan was always on the phone the whole time we were shopping at Vivo, and why Karen and Aimee were not home till 11. I remember Aimee arriving home with a McDonald's plastic bag with a burger meal, and then asking us, "Is there dinner food?" And I replied, "Huh? Haven't had dinner yet? Aiyah, cannot shop all evening and not have dinner yet lah!" True enough, she had her dinner at 11, if you call a McDonald's burger meal dinner food that is. I'm touched. I really am and this gift will indeed have a very sentimental value to me. Whoever tries to take this from me will have all his fingers cut! haha!
Finally, my extremely worn out wallet can retire and have a Merry Christmas this year! It has seen many places around the world already. I'm keeping this old wallet as it is the only one that has retired in my keeping. The rest have either been MIA or executed by terrorist thieves.
Moving on, I decided to give out the gifts to them instead of waiting for one more day. As they opened their gifts, they too were surprised to see what I had for them. It was a gift in itself to see them figure out how I knew what to give them ;) It takes a lot of observation skills, a lot of cheeky-ness and time spent with them to know all that. It was a very wonderful evening where everyone experienced a warm Christmas gathering despite how far we are all from our families.
Let's see how Christmas morn will be with my plans for my brother and my Mom. It's definitely a surprise to match what I just enjoyed last night!
Friday, December 19, 2008
OF MEN AND WOMEN: "SAY WHAT???"
I came home tonight to a movie "Serendipity" showing on my big screen. My two housemates were watching the film while their eyes were fixated on their laptops (surfing and chatting). So I asked teasingly, "Is someone even watching?" And to my amazement they said, in unison, "YES?".
Then my housemate whom we shall call Miss A tells another housemate Miss J, "Ka scary ana noh if ang imo guy naa ingana klase nga hangups pa sa iya past" (Translated: Isn't that scary if your guy still has those kinds of hangups from his past.) She was referring to a scene in the movie and she pulled me into their conversation as to how girls can be so clueless as to when their guy is ready. And (in my innocence or complete insensitivity?) I said, "It's not difficult, you can tell!" And I was responded to with a unifying "NO!" Then Miss J says, "Mahirap man sabhihin sa guy na kelan cya magiging ready. Di namin alam noh kung kelan kayo mag pop sa question o kelan kayo ready na to settle down." I remained silent. It's better to just listen coz you get to learn more that way.
And it went on with Miss A telling her story of her current long term and long distance relationship. She said that it is impossible to just tell the guy to "hurry up!" And so I responded with, "I disagree with that. There are ways to get a guy moving and it usually has something to do with tapping the fact that men, by nature, are competitive creatures. Two things: Men's Ego/Pride and the fear of losing you" And then I continued to say that when men are compared with other men, they tend to be more driven to be at par with their peers or even more successful. When men run the risk of losing you, they'd find ways for that not to happen (unless they like someone else too without you knowing). And then I told them the story of how my ex-girlfriend was able to (perhaps unknowingly on her part, and I don't think she or anyone else knows this) push me to do things that I never thought anyone could have such a positive influence over my already laid-out plans. I guess anything can happen. I told them of the story of how I worked hard and made critical decisions to get to the United States knowing that the object of my affection may someday, in the very near and immediate future, migrate to Chicago.
Miss A then asked me what happened to that. And to keep the long story short, I said that by the time I had set foot on US soil, we were no longer together. And asked where the ex is now, I told her "They never migrated. She's still in Cebu." And there was silence.
Then Miss A breaks the silence saying, "There's no need to have someone push you John. I mean we all see that you've achieved a lot na and the sense of responsibility is there. It's just that THE responsibility is not there." And Miss J silently nods in agreement.
And there, I was speechless. The living room was silent. It was 1AM.
And it so affirms my belief that the choice of a woman can make or break a man.
I came home tonight to a movie "Serendipity" showing on my big screen. My two housemates were watching the film while their eyes were fixated on their laptops (surfing and chatting). So I asked teasingly, "Is someone even watching?" And to my amazement they said, in unison, "YES?".
Then my housemate whom we shall call Miss A tells another housemate Miss J, "Ka scary ana noh if ang imo guy naa ingana klase nga hangups pa sa iya past" (Translated: Isn't that scary if your guy still has those kinds of hangups from his past.) She was referring to a scene in the movie and she pulled me into their conversation as to how girls can be so clueless as to when their guy is ready. And (in my innocence or complete insensitivity?) I said, "It's not difficult, you can tell!" And I was responded to with a unifying "NO!" Then Miss J says, "Mahirap man sabhihin sa guy na kelan cya magiging ready. Di namin alam noh kung kelan kayo mag pop sa question o kelan kayo ready na to settle down." I remained silent. It's better to just listen coz you get to learn more that way.
And it went on with Miss A telling her story of her current long term and long distance relationship. She said that it is impossible to just tell the guy to "hurry up!" And so I responded with, "I disagree with that. There are ways to get a guy moving and it usually has something to do with tapping the fact that men, by nature, are competitive creatures. Two things: Men's Ego/Pride and the fear of losing you" And then I continued to say that when men are compared with other men, they tend to be more driven to be at par with their peers or even more successful. When men run the risk of losing you, they'd find ways for that not to happen (unless they like someone else too without you knowing). And then I told them the story of how my ex-girlfriend was able to (perhaps unknowingly on her part, and I don't think she or anyone else knows this) push me to do things that I never thought anyone could have such a positive influence over my already laid-out plans. I guess anything can happen. I told them of the story of how I worked hard and made critical decisions to get to the United States knowing that the object of my affection may someday, in the very near and immediate future, migrate to Chicago.
Miss A then asked me what happened to that. And to keep the long story short, I said that by the time I had set foot on US soil, we were no longer together. And asked where the ex is now, I told her "They never migrated. She's still in Cebu." And there was silence.
Then Miss A breaks the silence saying, "There's no need to have someone push you John. I mean we all see that you've achieved a lot na and the sense of responsibility is there. It's just that THE responsibility is not there." And Miss J silently nods in agreement.
And there, I was speechless. The living room was silent. It was 1AM.
And it so affirms my belief that the choice of a woman can make or break a man.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
Introducing Seagate's latest mobile storage solutions. The FreeAgent TM Go portable drives pack in a max of 500GB storage in a sleek, lightweight and elegant package. It does not require any external power supply and most of all it fits in my pockets. Choosing the color was the hard part. But when the USD 30.00 docking station was given away as a freebie, the color choice became obvious. It was a very good buy! Doing the currency conversion, I got it 40% off its US retail price and that's just for the harddrive itself. Apart from the free docking station, it also came with a very nice Seagate leather protector case, also FREE.
I have yet to unbox it tonight. I had to contain my excitement, lest I'd be missing my sleep. :)
RELEASED!
Finally, I saw this baby on the shelf!!!
I visited SITEX on it's last night at Singapore Expo Hall 5 to accompany Aimee in buying a new camera for herself as she was still crossed between getting a Canon or a Sony. As I entered the exhibition hall the size of an airline hangar, I was greeted by the bold letters "LEXMARK". "Let's check out that booth first." were the next few words that came out of my mouth.
It brought me great pride to finally see Lexmark exhibiting their products for the first time in Singapore's quarterly-held I.T. Show. "Can I help you with anything Sir?" I must have heard that 3 times from the barrage of sales people attending to me. I kept silent and gave them a complex look - "I'm busy, please do not disturb me". I can see from their extremely puzzled faces that they had a hard time understanding my fascination over their new products. I was toying with their printers like I was trying to disassemble the whole thing. I was so engrossed in the moment as I finally saw, touched and played around with the released versions of 2 of the most important printers in my life! They are the first and the last projects I was involved in during my tenure at Lexmark. First was Si*, the smallest laser mono printer that I worked on while I was in training in the US. The last was El* where I worked with a team to deliver Pictbridge functionality for their latest released product line. Finally, Pictbridge works on the laser segment! Cheers!
It's a great feeling to see these products finally rolled out into the market. And it feels so different playing with these little things as a "customer" just for amusement without having to think that I am playing with it to fix a PTR as a firmware developer. Hahaha!
After getting Aimee's camera, I wanted to revisit the Lexmark booth to test the camera on the Pictbridge-enabled printer. Sad to say, when we got there, the sales people had packed everything up already. So I headed off to the Seagate booth and got myself my newest toy, to be featured in my next blog post.
Friday, November 28, 2008
YESTERDAY, TODAY and TOMORROW
A few days back, a long lost friend touched base with me all the way from Texas USA. It's always good to hear from someone whom you have not seen or heard from for years. Back in the old days, the USCTC canteen was our enclave where friends usually met up to have a talk (or a tutorial session) after classes and in between breaks. Now we have our own separate geographical enclaves as some of us are now scattered all over the entire planet.
It's amazing how some people can still remember details which you yourself may not recall anymore. And if you indeed recall such memories, you'd give yourself a big laugh. And to even the most dramatic of memories, you can just laugh about the silly-ness of it all and wonder what were you actually thinking.
It takes time to get to there, but you'll get there always. When you look at it backwards from tomorrow, you'd see that yesterday did make sense, but all that you really and truly have is today.
A few days back, a long lost friend touched base with me all the way from Texas USA. It's always good to hear from someone whom you have not seen or heard from for years. Back in the old days, the USCTC canteen was our enclave where friends usually met up to have a talk (or a tutorial session) after classes and in between breaks. Now we have our own separate geographical enclaves as some of us are now scattered all over the entire planet.
It's amazing how some people can still remember details which you yourself may not recall anymore. And if you indeed recall such memories, you'd give yourself a big laugh. And to even the most dramatic of memories, you can just laugh about the silly-ness of it all and wonder what were you actually thinking.
It takes time to get to there, but you'll get there always. When you look at it backwards from tomorrow, you'd see that yesterday did make sense, but all that you really and truly have is today.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
TODAY NEXT MONTH
… will be Christmas once more. And I’ll be home this year to spend it with my family and friends. It would be a time for many things.
1. Having loved ones around
2. Waking up from the sheer heat of sunlight through my bedroom window
3. To see my family first thing in the morning
4. Morning welcome from my 3 pooches wagging their tails
5. Breakfast food served on the table without cooking it myself
6. Nicely ironed ready to wear clothes
7. Hanging out with the barkada and hopefully make plans for a short excursion
8. Quality time with some special personalities
9. Meeting up with friends whom I have not seen for many months now
10. Visit Terraces (this has got to be worth the good publicity it is getting)
11. Visit Simala (I hope this happens coz this is the Nth request)
12. Attend the SHS-B ’99 reunion
13. Shop for gifts (I just have 24 hours to do that Good luck!)
14. Get myself a Christmas present
15. Receive a surprise (a positive one ha!)
16. Bring back lots of nice memories
I have to add more to this list as I think of more things to do as the time draws nearer. Christmas is a time where we can just ask for anything we desire without hesitation and just be true to ourselves and hope that our year-long wish is granted. That’s it. Today, next month, it will be Christmas.
… will be Christmas once more. And I’ll be home this year to spend it with my family and friends. It would be a time for many things.
1. Having loved ones around
2. Waking up from the sheer heat of sunlight through my bedroom window
3. To see my family first thing in the morning
4. Morning welcome from my 3 pooches wagging their tails
5. Breakfast food served on the table without cooking it myself
6. Nicely ironed ready to wear clothes
7. Hanging out with the barkada and hopefully make plans for a short excursion
8. Quality time with some special personalities
9. Meeting up with friends whom I have not seen for many months now
10. Visit Terraces (this has got to be worth the good publicity it is getting)
11. Visit Simala (I hope this happens coz this is the Nth request)
12. Attend the SHS-B ’99 reunion
13. Shop for gifts (I just have 24 hours to do that Good luck!)
14. Get myself a Christmas present
15. Receive a surprise (a positive one ha!)
16. Bring back lots of nice memories
I have to add more to this list as I think of more things to do as the time draws nearer. Christmas is a time where we can just ask for anything we desire without hesitation and just be true to ourselves and hope that our year-long wish is granted. That’s it. Today, next month, it will be Christmas.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
4AM Thoughts
I think with all the events happening for the past 2 weeks, I can say I’ve converted to a nocturnal creature who happens to keep a day job as well. I can’t imagine what’s gonna become of me if this keeps up. I’ll probably become… The Dark Knight. Hahaha! Forgive me, I just wanna be a Bruce Wayne someday, everything about him. (Does he blog? LOL!)
The days/nights are just too short. Imagine waking up at 7-7:30ish, having to jumpstart my engines on an empty stomach like driving out the car right after turning the ignition key, then having to take an hour’s commute to the office, then work till 6PM, commute back home for an hour, cook dinner, balance my expense sheet, check the torrents, chat with family and friends and if I’m lucky I can watch 1 or 2 episodes of House. With what’s left, must I spend it on sleep?
Last night was my aunt’s last night in Singapore. She’s here for the Dell Executives Conference and yesterday she won a door prize of a UMPC laptop. Brought her to Boat Quay to enjoy the best dishes Singapore could offer, something that is fitting for her last night in SG. As I reached home at around 11, I wanted to hit the sack, but I had to do my daily routine which got me to finish around 1AM. And then my housemate has this insomnia problem almost everyday so he tries hard to sleep at around 10PM only to walk out of his room at around 1AM to make tambay. So last night, he had my company for 3 hours.
I got to thinking of my “excuses” for not pursuing the American dream. In a time of uncertainty in the US amid the financial crisis, it would not make sense to embark on this long-time yet heavily suppressed dream of mine. But maybe such a condition in the US can be likened to war-torn country and as I fondly recall all of Gokongwei’s speeches, big breaks happen during great depressions such as these. Maybe it is time. Question is how and how long will it take for me to enjoy once more the life I had 2 years ago. I yet have to reevaluate what’s stopping me. As Obama calls for change with his “Yes, we can!”, I can say that at this very stage in my life I have opened up myself to the very drastic of measures to effect change in my life. And there is proof to such willpower as with the many decisions I have made in the last 2 months or so. And when posed with an opportunity, I will make many more of those without hesitation. What is it that is really holding me back? I miss my zeal during my high school days, where I feared nothing, when I didn’t over analyze and just executed whatever plan I have. What made me this cautious? Maybe this SHS-B Batch ’99 reunion on December 30 will make me get back my superpowers.
Oh how I love it when I lack sleep. I can be so bold and damn proud of it.
I think with all the events happening for the past 2 weeks, I can say I’ve converted to a nocturnal creature who happens to keep a day job as well. I can’t imagine what’s gonna become of me if this keeps up. I’ll probably become… The Dark Knight. Hahaha! Forgive me, I just wanna be a Bruce Wayne someday, everything about him. (Does he blog? LOL!)
The days/nights are just too short. Imagine waking up at 7-7:30ish, having to jumpstart my engines on an empty stomach like driving out the car right after turning the ignition key, then having to take an hour’s commute to the office, then work till 6PM, commute back home for an hour, cook dinner, balance my expense sheet, check the torrents, chat with family and friends and if I’m lucky I can watch 1 or 2 episodes of House. With what’s left, must I spend it on sleep?
Last night was my aunt’s last night in Singapore. She’s here for the Dell Executives Conference and yesterday she won a door prize of a UMPC laptop. Brought her to Boat Quay to enjoy the best dishes Singapore could offer, something that is fitting for her last night in SG. As I reached home at around 11, I wanted to hit the sack, but I had to do my daily routine which got me to finish around 1AM. And then my housemate has this insomnia problem almost everyday so he tries hard to sleep at around 10PM only to walk out of his room at around 1AM to make tambay. So last night, he had my company for 3 hours.
I got to thinking of my “excuses” for not pursuing the American dream. In a time of uncertainty in the US amid the financial crisis, it would not make sense to embark on this long-time yet heavily suppressed dream of mine. But maybe such a condition in the US can be likened to war-torn country and as I fondly recall all of Gokongwei’s speeches, big breaks happen during great depressions such as these. Maybe it is time. Question is how and how long will it take for me to enjoy once more the life I had 2 years ago. I yet have to reevaluate what’s stopping me. As Obama calls for change with his “Yes, we can!”, I can say that at this very stage in my life I have opened up myself to the very drastic of measures to effect change in my life. And there is proof to such willpower as with the many decisions I have made in the last 2 months or so. And when posed with an opportunity, I will make many more of those without hesitation. What is it that is really holding me back? I miss my zeal during my high school days, where I feared nothing, when I didn’t over analyze and just executed whatever plan I have. What made me this cautious? Maybe this SHS-B Batch ’99 reunion on December 30 will make me get back my superpowers.
Oh how I love it when I lack sleep. I can be so bold and damn proud of it.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
New Home
I have moved in to a new home. The househunting took just two days thanks to a friend who suggested that we search in the newspaper. After going through 5 online property websites, the old faithful newspaper still prevails.
We found a nice home near a church (a very nice one actually) and very near Vivo City. I should finally get myself a bike since we now live close to Mt. Faber and Sentosa. It certainly feels good to live close to the city, to be near places like Orchard, Esplanade and the entire Bugis and City Hall area. And it also brings added delight to live just a bit farther from the bustling metropolis so that we can still enjoy the greeneries, a more quiet and relaxing neighborhood and a more laid-back life.
So after nearly 2 weeks of undergoing the hurdles of moving ones residence, we've finally been able to just sit down on the sofa, have some pizza while watching a movie on the 46" (as what Ivan loves to call it). Thanks to my family who flew in to help me get settled and thanks also to Shuan, my Singaporean friend, who has helped us immensely, from the tip on using the Saturday newspaper, to shuttling us and our things, to moving our stuff into our new home. Our doors will always be open for you! Thank God for friends like him.
I have moved in to a new home. The househunting took just two days thanks to a friend who suggested that we search in the newspaper. After going through 5 online property websites, the old faithful newspaper still prevails.
We found a nice home near a church (a very nice one actually) and very near Vivo City. I should finally get myself a bike since we now live close to Mt. Faber and Sentosa. It certainly feels good to live close to the city, to be near places like Orchard, Esplanade and the entire Bugis and City Hall area. And it also brings added delight to live just a bit farther from the bustling metropolis so that we can still enjoy the greeneries, a more quiet and relaxing neighborhood and a more laid-back life.
So after nearly 2 weeks of undergoing the hurdles of moving ones residence, we've finally been able to just sit down on the sofa, have some pizza while watching a movie on the 46" (as what Ivan loves to call it). Thanks to my family who flew in to help me get settled and thanks also to Shuan, my Singaporean friend, who has helped us immensely, from the tip on using the Saturday newspaper, to shuttling us and our things, to moving our stuff into our new home. Our doors will always be open for you! Thank God for friends like him.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
FINALLY
Walter was right! There is no such thing, thus he doesn't keep one. It is just an illusion where people fool themselves into thinking that this kind of person will always think what is best for you. Its most fundamental core, being altruism, is overrated.
Nearly 12 hours ago, I just witnessed a bright ray of sunshine illuminate through overcast skies. And everything is clear. The treatment administered based on the initial diagnosis made the underlying symptom finally surface after all this time. With consultation from the "team", it is clear to me that the patient was suffering from a progressive case of lonliphobia. Look it up, it starts with L and has nothing to do with being lonely in the past and present.
Patient has been discharged. Get some rest, see you all tomorrow!
Walter was right! There is no such thing, thus he doesn't keep one. It is just an illusion where people fool themselves into thinking that this kind of person will always think what is best for you. Its most fundamental core, being altruism, is overrated.
Nearly 12 hours ago, I just witnessed a bright ray of sunshine illuminate through overcast skies. And everything is clear. The treatment administered based on the initial diagnosis made the underlying symptom finally surface after all this time. With consultation from the "team", it is clear to me that the patient was suffering from a progressive case of lonliphobia. Look it up, it starts with L and has nothing to do with being lonely in the past and present.
Patient has been discharged. Get some rest, see you all tomorrow!
Friday, October 17, 2008
HOUSE
It's about the doctor, not about real estate.
I just got a copy of House M.D. all 4 seasons of it from my coworker. So apart from Heroes and Prison Break, I'm adding this to my list of TV series to watch in my spare time. I'm a frustrated doctor so this is definitely something that will interest me. I watched 4 episodes of season 1 tonight and I just liked their brainstorming sessions - "differential diagnosis".
Imagine all those possible diagnosis for a given set of symptoms. And no two diagnosis can exist based on the same set of symptoms. Surely they are all in medical books, but having all of them stashed in ones mind at that crucial moment is simply amazing! Add in the wit, sarcasm, and yes Dr. Cameron, this TV series rocks!
It's about the doctor, not about real estate.
I just got a copy of House M.D. all 4 seasons of it from my coworker. So apart from Heroes and Prison Break, I'm adding this to my list of TV series to watch in my spare time. I'm a frustrated doctor so this is definitely something that will interest me. I watched 4 episodes of season 1 tonight and I just liked their brainstorming sessions - "differential diagnosis".
Imagine all those possible diagnosis for a given set of symptoms. And no two diagnosis can exist based on the same set of symptoms. Surely they are all in medical books, but having all of them stashed in ones mind at that crucial moment is simply amazing! Add in the wit, sarcasm, and yes Dr. Cameron, this TV series rocks!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Curtain Call
With you, I can always speak my mind - no filters, no pre/post processing, no excuses, no mind games. You get the rawest form of thought that comes to my mind. WYSIWYG. I believe that is something that is given only to a select few. With you, I will always be just myself. Not the John that I wear to the office, nor the John at parties, not even the John I keep at home. With you I will always be myself, the one I keep in private, the one that is free and truest to form.
I'm now taking you to a string of parties and that's where we'd stay. I will take some hors d'ouevres, add in a glass of champagne, and maybe take a light outdoors to make more friends as many people have made with just striking a lighter or a match. And maybe as friends pass by I will introduce you to them, and they to you. We'll laugh with them, make small talk, exchange stories in our pursuit to keeping up with the times. Occasionally, we'd listen to talk that just goes straight right through the other ear, and we'd just nod and exchange smirks and fake smiles, because that is just what you want or what others would want - the affirmation that they've been heard, listened too, empathized, and that we are all in agreement. The world is intolerant towards what goes against it. And that's how it is gonna be, because that is how it has become. We all just want to feel good knowing that we are all in agreement. And it shall be like that, till all that neglected truth inside will consume us like a cancer that rots the bone.
I guess that arrangement is much better than being invisible, though I can and I have done so perfectly with many. I can provide a list of ghosts if that fancies the horror junkie or spirit questor in you. You know how I feel, and to ignore it would be missing the very essence of what we both share. I'm sorry but I cannot ride on with this masquerade show you are trying to host, pretending as if things are just the same as just the way they have been. I refuse to enlist into your cast as an actor masquerading as the one the damsel in distress always runs to. That is not even a role I would want to be in knowing that it is all but Shakespearean theater to you, Director. I have grown up to know that my role is with the real world. And such role in the real world is so beautiful and sacred that immitating it in some play would be a sacriledge.
I cannot be anything else other than myself, because that is who I chose to reveal to you. Doing otherwise would make a fake out of me, a fiction character like those in children's books. So, I'm taking you to a children's party. I'll suit up first and I can go along with you if you want to play mommy and daddy with the kids. I'm sure it will be fun. I'm alright if you want to tag this as Act One. No dialogues for me, okay? Just plain acting.
With you, I can always speak my mind - no filters, no pre/post processing, no excuses, no mind games. You get the rawest form of thought that comes to my mind. WYSIWYG. I believe that is something that is given only to a select few. With you, I will always be just myself. Not the John that I wear to the office, nor the John at parties, not even the John I keep at home. With you I will always be myself, the one I keep in private, the one that is free and truest to form.
I'm now taking you to a string of parties and that's where we'd stay. I will take some hors d'ouevres, add in a glass of champagne, and maybe take a light outdoors to make more friends as many people have made with just striking a lighter or a match. And maybe as friends pass by I will introduce you to them, and they to you. We'll laugh with them, make small talk, exchange stories in our pursuit to keeping up with the times. Occasionally, we'd listen to talk that just goes straight right through the other ear, and we'd just nod and exchange smirks and fake smiles, because that is just what you want or what others would want - the affirmation that they've been heard, listened too, empathized, and that we are all in agreement. The world is intolerant towards what goes against it. And that's how it is gonna be, because that is how it has become. We all just want to feel good knowing that we are all in agreement. And it shall be like that, till all that neglected truth inside will consume us like a cancer that rots the bone.
I guess that arrangement is much better than being invisible, though I can and I have done so perfectly with many. I can provide a list of ghosts if that fancies the horror junkie or spirit questor in you. You know how I feel, and to ignore it would be missing the very essence of what we both share. I'm sorry but I cannot ride on with this masquerade show you are trying to host, pretending as if things are just the same as just the way they have been. I refuse to enlist into your cast as an actor masquerading as the one the damsel in distress always runs to. That is not even a role I would want to be in knowing that it is all but Shakespearean theater to you, Director. I have grown up to know that my role is with the real world. And such role in the real world is so beautiful and sacred that immitating it in some play would be a sacriledge.
I cannot be anything else other than myself, because that is who I chose to reveal to you. Doing otherwise would make a fake out of me, a fiction character like those in children's books. So, I'm taking you to a children's party. I'll suit up first and I can go along with you if you want to play mommy and daddy with the kids. I'm sure it will be fun. I'm alright if you want to tag this as Act One. No dialogues for me, okay? Just plain acting.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Coping with Change
"Change is the only constant thing in this universe."
I once thought that whoever popularized this cliche was just trying hard to be one helluva smarty pants. And in time, I've come to accept it as something that will break you if you do not yield. I can compare this with my daily MRT rides to the office. The subway train is so packed, that if you just stood stubbornly still when the train stops and the doors open, you will be pushed around and maybe stepped on if you never cared to move yourself away from harm's way - from old "auntie" who's only goal is to disembark the train against all odds.
"When a door closes, another one opens"... just make sure there is a floor on the other side lol! Was that a joke? I think that should be part of the cliche. Moving forward means moving for the better. We experience a lot of movement in our lives, moving to a new job, moving to a new country, moving to married life, moving to being single once more, moving to a new apartment, moving to a new blog address, moving to Facebook (from Friendster) etc. We all move because we believe that the grass is greener on the other side. "Greener" being relative because the real assessment of it would be looking backwards from the future. Okay, I'd make it less of being another cliche by saying that we move because our gut feel tells us that we'd be happier. Happier for short term or finding bliss in the long run, depends really on the reasons we have and the prevailing circumstances we are in.
And I believe some also move for equally important and personal reasons: Because they feel limited by their current condition, a boring job, a demanding partner, a partner who is never there, a neighborhood full of don'ts, a job that demands too much time and takes them away from the really important things in life - family. I've seen already much movement in my life, and more to come - people coming and going, opportunities popping and then vanishing, money in money out, once a close friend now a distancing memory, relatives and friends migrating, friends getting married and having kids, bosses and colleagues walking in and out of my career life. These are all the changes that I go through, you go through and many others go through. We all go through these at different stages in our lives. I mean, this is it - life, as we know it to be.
Change changes us. We may not notice it but it does. We once dealt with our raging hormones, battling with our emotions as if life is a great war that must be fought fiercely with the most deadly arsenal the world has ever seen - the human will to survive. And yes it is. Our sales director asked me a month ago, "How's your stay so far? Still surviving?" He saw the smirk on my face and added, "Life is all about survival." And he walked away. I'll never know what that encounter was for. All I know is that it did happen.
That will always be there - our will to fight for survival. However, as the years go by, change will continue to change us. We are a work in progress. As we experience more out of life and as we age (with grace), we discover more about ourselves, our capabilities, our limitations, our preferences, our priorities, what pleases us, what irritates us, what's worth sacrificing for and what's not worth even fussing about. In the course of this progressive "numbing" of emotions, being insensitive is another thing, but this "mellowing" down of ones reactions is a product of our experiences. One who has wept so much would not weep as hard anymore, and can even claim that they ran out of tears and just feel nothing. Those who once laughed so hard will not be easily tickled anymore (lest they risk an asthma attack or run short of breath) In other words, we all cope. We do it, in many, many creative ways. Blogging is one of them.
We jump for joy over some great blessing from Heaven. We mourn for a deep loss. All this will pass. The ecstatic hype will mellow down, the grief will be relieved. And the days will soon be just like any other day. The system itself corrects, including this economic crisis in our midst.
We are all in it together. Just that we are fighting different battles. And the question as to why we can never just be the answer to someone's problem and they ours, is something that is extremely complex even to the genius of geniuses. If there would be any answer to it, maybe you and I would be robots... or clones. Maybe in a hundred years or more. Beam me up, Scotty!
"Change is the only constant thing in this universe."
I once thought that whoever popularized this cliche was just trying hard to be one helluva smarty pants. And in time, I've come to accept it as something that will break you if you do not yield. I can compare this with my daily MRT rides to the office. The subway train is so packed, that if you just stood stubbornly still when the train stops and the doors open, you will be pushed around and maybe stepped on if you never cared to move yourself away from harm's way - from old "auntie" who's only goal is to disembark the train against all odds.
"When a door closes, another one opens"... just make sure there is a floor on the other side lol! Was that a joke? I think that should be part of the cliche. Moving forward means moving for the better. We experience a lot of movement in our lives, moving to a new job, moving to a new country, moving to married life, moving to being single once more, moving to a new apartment, moving to a new blog address, moving to Facebook (from Friendster) etc. We all move because we believe that the grass is greener on the other side. "Greener" being relative because the real assessment of it would be looking backwards from the future. Okay, I'd make it less of being another cliche by saying that we move because our gut feel tells us that we'd be happier. Happier for short term or finding bliss in the long run, depends really on the reasons we have and the prevailing circumstances we are in.
And I believe some also move for equally important and personal reasons: Because they feel limited by their current condition, a boring job, a demanding partner, a partner who is never there, a neighborhood full of don'ts, a job that demands too much time and takes them away from the really important things in life - family. I've seen already much movement in my life, and more to come - people coming and going, opportunities popping and then vanishing, money in money out, once a close friend now a distancing memory, relatives and friends migrating, friends getting married and having kids, bosses and colleagues walking in and out of my career life. These are all the changes that I go through, you go through and many others go through. We all go through these at different stages in our lives. I mean, this is it - life, as we know it to be.
Change changes us. We may not notice it but it does. We once dealt with our raging hormones, battling with our emotions as if life is a great war that must be fought fiercely with the most deadly arsenal the world has ever seen - the human will to survive. And yes it is. Our sales director asked me a month ago, "How's your stay so far? Still surviving?" He saw the smirk on my face and added, "Life is all about survival." And he walked away. I'll never know what that encounter was for. All I know is that it did happen.
That will always be there - our will to fight for survival. However, as the years go by, change will continue to change us. We are a work in progress. As we experience more out of life and as we age (with grace), we discover more about ourselves, our capabilities, our limitations, our preferences, our priorities, what pleases us, what irritates us, what's worth sacrificing for and what's not worth even fussing about. In the course of this progressive "numbing" of emotions, being insensitive is another thing, but this "mellowing" down of ones reactions is a product of our experiences. One who has wept so much would not weep as hard anymore, and can even claim that they ran out of tears and just feel nothing. Those who once laughed so hard will not be easily tickled anymore (lest they risk an asthma attack or run short of breath) In other words, we all cope. We do it, in many, many creative ways. Blogging is one of them.
We jump for joy over some great blessing from Heaven. We mourn for a deep loss. All this will pass. The ecstatic hype will mellow down, the grief will be relieved. And the days will soon be just like any other day. The system itself corrects, including this economic crisis in our midst.
We are all in it together. Just that we are fighting different battles. And the question as to why we can never just be the answer to someone's problem and they ours, is something that is extremely complex even to the genius of geniuses. If there would be any answer to it, maybe you and I would be robots... or clones. Maybe in a hundred years or more. Beam me up, Scotty!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Late Night Movies
I'm on a roll. Tomorrow's, I mean today (it's 2AM already) is Friday already. TGIF! I've been addicted to watching movies till the wee hours of the morning, on weekDAYS! I found that it helps me cope with the workday ahead. I feel good and soothed up afterwards and it helps me sleep well thinking happy thoughts. And the lack of sleep helps me deal with work pressures by numbing my senses out. I feel less pressure. I am more tolerant, more like immune, towards impossible colleagues. And I think more clearly, which is quite the opposite of what is expected when one is buzzed out. Since working under the influence is a big no no, this is the more legal way of dealing with the isuue for the moment.
*Deleted some post below. I realized it may not be appropriate.
I'm on a roll. Tomorrow's, I mean today (it's 2AM already) is Friday already. TGIF! I've been addicted to watching movies till the wee hours of the morning, on weekDAYS! I found that it helps me cope with the workday ahead. I feel good and soothed up afterwards and it helps me sleep well thinking happy thoughts. And the lack of sleep helps me deal with work pressures by numbing my senses out. I feel less pressure. I am more tolerant, more like immune, towards impossible colleagues. And I think more clearly, which is quite the opposite of what is expected when one is buzzed out. Since working under the influence is a big no no, this is the more legal way of dealing with the isuue for the moment.
*Deleted some post below. I realized it may not be appropriate.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
KOREA
Anyeong haseyo!
I should visit Korea someday and add their flag as a badge to the list on the right.
I just came from an endurance test given to me by my crawling-turtle-of-an-internet-speed as I watched a film over www.crunchyroll.com What would have taken an hour plus took me nearly 4 hours to finish the film. And to the disappointment of my ISP's peak usage capacity of providing less than 0.1% of the 8Mbps bandwidth I am paying for, I managed to forego the feeling of being short changed simply because the film was aaabsoooluuuutelyyy worth a second viewing.
I miss watching Korean movies. Call them Koreanovelas, if there is such a word. I guess a "word" is a word if it can be Googled. Yes, that's a word too.
I find these films entertaining. I enjoy the level of humor that emerges at the least expected moment, like a thrilling, unpredictable suspense brought by a heart-stopping horror flick. And I laud the crafty manner by which the writers inject the depth and seriousness of the subject matter into the scenes while maintaining a light and bouncy cinematic experience. The films give me a good laugh as it also rocks me to my very core with its deep understanding of the human condition.
It's nearly 3AM and I am still so charged up after the film to be able to blog about it. I'll hit the sack now. It's back to reality in 6 hours.
Anyeong haseyo!
I should visit Korea someday and add their flag as a badge to the list on the right.
I just came from an endurance test given to me by my crawling-turtle-of-an-internet-speed as I watched a film over www.crunchyroll.com What would have taken an hour plus took me nearly 4 hours to finish the film. And to the disappointment of my ISP's peak usage capacity of providing less than 0.1% of the 8Mbps bandwidth I am paying for, I managed to forego the feeling of being short changed simply because the film was aaabsoooluuuutelyyy worth a second viewing.
I miss watching Korean movies. Call them Koreanovelas, if there is such a word. I guess a "word" is a word if it can be Googled. Yes, that's a word too.
I find these films entertaining. I enjoy the level of humor that emerges at the least expected moment, like a thrilling, unpredictable suspense brought by a heart-stopping horror flick. And I laud the crafty manner by which the writers inject the depth and seriousness of the subject matter into the scenes while maintaining a light and bouncy cinematic experience. The films give me a good laugh as it also rocks me to my very core with its deep understanding of the human condition.
It's nearly 3AM and I am still so charged up after the film to be able to blog about it. I'll hit the sack now. It's back to reality in 6 hours.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
More Rice Please!
I'm putting this blog back to where it was from the very beginning. I have been finding ways to cope with what has been troubling me to an extent that I had to keep this blog someplace safe so that I can just pour out and let off steam without causing undue emotional harm to visitors. Words can cut deep, even to a passerby.
Thank you dear friend for helping me clear my mind and focus on what it is I must do. We've grown so much together. Maybe that's why you know me well enough to understand how I think and what I must be going through. I am very simple really, but extremely complex to the unfamiliar.
I guess we learned a lot from my experience of seeking for peace and clarity of mind. To you, a step further into letting go. To me, the same with an extra boost knowing that sometimes we just need to make unpopular decisions.
Life is about knowing what you want, being grateful for blessings, loving others in your own fashion, and having the wisdom to know what is worth ones effort and time.
I have to go and eat more rice, but for now I'll have to go with what is familiar and hope that its unpopularity will take things to a better heading.
I'm putting this blog back to where it was from the very beginning. I have been finding ways to cope with what has been troubling me to an extent that I had to keep this blog someplace safe so that I can just pour out and let off steam without causing undue emotional harm to visitors. Words can cut deep, even to a passerby.
Thank you dear friend for helping me clear my mind and focus on what it is I must do. We've grown so much together. Maybe that's why you know me well enough to understand how I think and what I must be going through. I am very simple really, but extremely complex to the unfamiliar.
I guess we learned a lot from my experience of seeking for peace and clarity of mind. To you, a step further into letting go. To me, the same with an extra boost knowing that sometimes we just need to make unpopular decisions.
Life is about knowing what you want, being grateful for blessings, loving others in your own fashion, and having the wisdom to know what is worth ones effort and time.
I have to go and eat more rice, but for now I'll have to go with what is familiar and hope that its unpopularity will take things to a better heading.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Chasing Pardon
This is not the first time.
A close friend of mine who has never given up on me (or at least I think the person still hasn't) said that it is with great pity seeing me like this. And during my last trip home, I was surprised to have my plans for one night completely remodeled. A whole night to celebrate a birthday party ended up really well (unexpectedly) with having spoken to this person. I guess if my pitiful condition were likened to a viral plague, this person would be like Robert Neville (Will Smith) of I Am Legend, miraculously spared from it. And yes, I am sorry and pitiful, but I know that for the world, such an admission will not suffice.
People throw away needlessly, and without regard for value, the many things they have to pursue the very things that eludes them the most. For some, er many, they throw away trust and, I mean, years of it over something like money. Nonsense? To those who chase it, money may just be worth all THAT. Someone's trash may be another person's treasure. And for me, it is something else. You and I have different needs, wants, cravings, aspirations, goals, etc. And likewise, we are endowed with different types of resources, "blessings", and varying amounts of such.
I would not like to label it as a curse on my part because there might be a good reason for it. That's the optimist in me talking. Nevertheless, till the curse (for the lack of a better name to coin it) is broken, I guess my unfinished business in this world (or in the next) would be to seek pardon for every person that I have left behind without any fault on their part.
And this will not be the last. *sigh :(
I need saving, dear Lord.
This is not the first time.
A close friend of mine who has never given up on me (or at least I think the person still hasn't) said that it is with great pity seeing me like this. And during my last trip home, I was surprised to have my plans for one night completely remodeled. A whole night to celebrate a birthday party ended up really well (unexpectedly) with having spoken to this person. I guess if my pitiful condition were likened to a viral plague, this person would be like Robert Neville (Will Smith) of I Am Legend, miraculously spared from it. And yes, I am sorry and pitiful, but I know that for the world, such an admission will not suffice.
People throw away needlessly, and without regard for value, the many things they have to pursue the very things that eludes them the most. For some, er many, they throw away trust and, I mean, years of it over something like money. Nonsense? To those who chase it, money may just be worth all THAT. Someone's trash may be another person's treasure. And for me, it is something else. You and I have different needs, wants, cravings, aspirations, goals, etc. And likewise, we are endowed with different types of resources, "blessings", and varying amounts of such.
I would not like to label it as a curse on my part because there might be a good reason for it. That's the optimist in me talking. Nevertheless, till the curse (for the lack of a better name to coin it) is broken, I guess my unfinished business in this world (or in the next) would be to seek pardon for every person that I have left behind without any fault on their part.
And this will not be the last. *sigh :(
I need saving, dear Lord.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
(Writing) In Between The Lines
All I hear now is silence. And I shall now relish in its beauty for just this one special moment - a moment of freedom, a space in time that is in my keeping. I hear no phones ringing, no tip-tapping keyboards, no voices telling me what to do. The flesh is in its euphoric state, free from the pressures of stress borne by a bustling day at the workplace. The heart beats with the mind's pulse, and they are both in a different dimension, united at last with a common mission to solve the puzzle together; a puzzle that never seems to run out of pieces.
The heart once spoke of Gratitude, Kindness and Love. It always has and forever will be. The mind has always been troubled, scheming, planning, analyzing and executing every precise detail to architect the massive project that is the life in the years to come. Now they share one aim: to search for the cure to this vicious cycle where Gratitude weeps when seeking more and more out of life proves meaningless, and conversely when seeking for Meaning and for :ove, there is no Gratitude and the jaws of life bites deeply leaving scars called Lessons on Reality. And so what joins both heart and mind is the realization that I need to gear my eforts into serving my sole purpose in life.
Today, I know, as with anyone else, that it is somebody for someone. Where I am now is a calling to pave the way for a whole new world, something far greater than any other story, for it is OUR story. I shall bless everyday for every drop of sand in the hourglass of time is one significant block to build our future. And though I toil with every drop of blood, sweat and tears, I know that it shall not be in vain. For the music from an angel's lyre is the elixir that breathes life into my very soul.
I am here and you are there. Here I am writing this and there you are reading what my heart is telling yours. My soul belongs right here, right now, and yours still wandering, finding its way, and maybe in Fear's keeping. I am where I am for a purpose, a "sub" purpose to the one true purpose that is You.
All I hear now is silence. And I shall now relish in its beauty for just this one special moment - a moment of freedom, a space in time that is in my keeping. I hear no phones ringing, no tip-tapping keyboards, no voices telling me what to do. The flesh is in its euphoric state, free from the pressures of stress borne by a bustling day at the workplace. The heart beats with the mind's pulse, and they are both in a different dimension, united at last with a common mission to solve the puzzle together; a puzzle that never seems to run out of pieces.
The heart once spoke of Gratitude, Kindness and Love. It always has and forever will be. The mind has always been troubled, scheming, planning, analyzing and executing every precise detail to architect the massive project that is the life in the years to come. Now they share one aim: to search for the cure to this vicious cycle where Gratitude weeps when seeking more and more out of life proves meaningless, and conversely when seeking for Meaning and for :ove, there is no Gratitude and the jaws of life bites deeply leaving scars called Lessons on Reality. And so what joins both heart and mind is the realization that I need to gear my eforts into serving my sole purpose in life.
Today, I know, as with anyone else, that it is somebody for someone. Where I am now is a calling to pave the way for a whole new world, something far greater than any other story, for it is OUR story. I shall bless everyday for every drop of sand in the hourglass of time is one significant block to build our future. And though I toil with every drop of blood, sweat and tears, I know that it shall not be in vain. For the music from an angel's lyre is the elixir that breathes life into my very soul.
I am here and you are there. Here I am writing this and there you are reading what my heart is telling yours. My soul belongs right here, right now, and yours still wandering, finding its way, and maybe in Fear's keeping. I am where I am for a purpose, a "sub" purpose to the one true purpose that is You.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
"SuperHero" for A Day
Yesterday marked 1 month since a new career path began for me. It aint easy to forego a career in consultancy especially that I find myself as more of an extrovert rather than one who can stare indefinitely at words such as typedef, malloc, atoi, etc. And to confirm that this is not some dream, my career nearly zapped me lifeless yesterday. Talk about not having had dinner yet as late as 11PM, in a freezing room with 2 extremely workaholic ladies who are as much, much older than me as they are single. I would not want to end up like that. Was it by choice? Not my business.
So no Yahoo Mail, no GMail, no Meebo, no blog, no nothing for me as I was flat out tired to even push the power button of my PC. THAT TIRED! I swear this will be the first and last. This cannot be a habit because one can become two and next thing you know, you aren't already aware as to how much you have "sold" your time on Earth for $$$ and more $$$. Wait a minute, there's even no OT pay! :o
Having a good and challenging start is one thing, but too much of it at the onset can lead to an irrevocable decision where someone discretely receives a letter on an envelope and a 30-day countdown ensues. Need I say more?
Yesterday marked 1 month since a new career path began for me. It aint easy to forego a career in consultancy especially that I find myself as more of an extrovert rather than one who can stare indefinitely at words such as typedef, malloc, atoi, etc. And to confirm that this is not some dream, my career nearly zapped me lifeless yesterday. Talk about not having had dinner yet as late as 11PM, in a freezing room with 2 extremely workaholic ladies who are as much, much older than me as they are single. I would not want to end up like that. Was it by choice? Not my business.
So no Yahoo Mail, no GMail, no Meebo, no blog, no nothing for me as I was flat out tired to even push the power button of my PC. THAT TIRED! I swear this will be the first and last. This cannot be a habit because one can become two and next thing you know, you aren't already aware as to how much you have "sold" your time on Earth for $$$ and more $$$. Wait a minute, there's even no OT pay! :o
Having a good and challenging start is one thing, but too much of it at the onset can lead to an irrevocable decision where someone discretely receives a letter on an envelope and a 30-day countdown ensues. Need I say more?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
GRATITUDE
I now live in Singapore. And with nearly a year's worth of stay in this beautiful city, I could say that I have been truly blessed to have achieved and grown so much from the time I decided to forego the many things I considered certain in my life. I took the road less traveled hoping to learn more about myself and what I am capable of, believing that time spent on such an adventure into discovery will take me to far greater places to serve my family, and secure what I would like to call, the future.
It came with months of preparations, both emotionally and financially, since leaving ones family and close friends has its effects on ones sanity, and yes, financially because Singapore is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Seeing Mactan and Cebu shrink till clouds obscured them from plain eyesight felt like, "Take one last look, you might not get to see that again. (The cynic talking)" And then a pretty flight attendant comes forth like some angel and offers me a glass of red wine like it was an unexpected cure from Heaven for an aching heart. And upon the sighting of Changi's iconic control tower, I felt the adrenalin rush of a soldier geared for battle, parachuting to the ground, ready to draw first blood.
Days and weeks went on like a rollercoaster ride with all that fun, amusement and excitement typical of a tourist. And then comes the time when the heart says, "Take everything you once liked, loved, cherished, valued and put them all into where you are now." When you are having such a good time enjoying what you have now, you just can't help but want others to share in it and want more too. I realized this is normal for we all seek happiness magnetizing it into our path. And as social beings, we find meaning in sharing it with others, be it joy or sorrow.
Events unfold, building up our experience, awarding us with an array of badges, medals and trophies, in the form of lessons, lessons, and more life-long lessons. By this writing, I have accumulated many. And the latest one in my portfolio is Gratitude. The long narration of how the journey began is my way of keeping to my roots; an essential element in the latest life-lesson that I have earned.
I wake up not knowing how the day will end, will I be wearing a smile? or will I be wearing a long face? It really becomes immaterial then. There will be days where I could sing high praises, and there could be days where I feel all that negativity and try hard to just woozah it out of my system. The days begin with gratitude for another day of life and then I've got to get myself to work. There are days that it becomes a natural thing to do, and there are days where I really have a lot of convincing to do. And the best part of it all is when the day draws to a close. I guess we spend a lot of time sleeping so it would be best to grace that period of time as well.
And it goes like... "Thank you for today. May tomorrow be as good or even better. May others enjoy the good that today has given me. And may my own hands make it a reality." And living in a place where wealth is, more often than not, equated to how much money one brings home at the end of the day, I add in one last request, "Thank you for a job that keeps idle hands busy, that provides well for a decent living condition where needs are met, still with extras to cater to the wants. I pray and ask for wealth as how I perceive it to be, one that is intangible as it can only be experienced and felt. And may I always remember this to be what it means to be truly blessed."
Good night and may such blessings be yours as well.
I now live in Singapore. And with nearly a year's worth of stay in this beautiful city, I could say that I have been truly blessed to have achieved and grown so much from the time I decided to forego the many things I considered certain in my life. I took the road less traveled hoping to learn more about myself and what I am capable of, believing that time spent on such an adventure into discovery will take me to far greater places to serve my family, and secure what I would like to call, the future.
It came with months of preparations, both emotionally and financially, since leaving ones family and close friends has its effects on ones sanity, and yes, financially because Singapore is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Seeing Mactan and Cebu shrink till clouds obscured them from plain eyesight felt like, "Take one last look, you might not get to see that again. (The cynic talking)" And then a pretty flight attendant comes forth like some angel and offers me a glass of red wine like it was an unexpected cure from Heaven for an aching heart. And upon the sighting of Changi's iconic control tower, I felt the adrenalin rush of a soldier geared for battle, parachuting to the ground, ready to draw first blood.
Days and weeks went on like a rollercoaster ride with all that fun, amusement and excitement typical of a tourist. And then comes the time when the heart says, "Take everything you once liked, loved, cherished, valued and put them all into where you are now." When you are having such a good time enjoying what you have now, you just can't help but want others to share in it and want more too. I realized this is normal for we all seek happiness magnetizing it into our path. And as social beings, we find meaning in sharing it with others, be it joy or sorrow.
Events unfold, building up our experience, awarding us with an array of badges, medals and trophies, in the form of lessons, lessons, and more life-long lessons. By this writing, I have accumulated many. And the latest one in my portfolio is Gratitude. The long narration of how the journey began is my way of keeping to my roots; an essential element in the latest life-lesson that I have earned.
I wake up not knowing how the day will end, will I be wearing a smile? or will I be wearing a long face? It really becomes immaterial then. There will be days where I could sing high praises, and there could be days where I feel all that negativity and try hard to just woozah it out of my system. The days begin with gratitude for another day of life and then I've got to get myself to work. There are days that it becomes a natural thing to do, and there are days where I really have a lot of convincing to do. And the best part of it all is when the day draws to a close. I guess we spend a lot of time sleeping so it would be best to grace that period of time as well.
And it goes like... "Thank you for today. May tomorrow be as good or even better. May others enjoy the good that today has given me. And may my own hands make it a reality." And living in a place where wealth is, more often than not, equated to how much money one brings home at the end of the day, I add in one last request, "Thank you for a job that keeps idle hands busy, that provides well for a decent living condition where needs are met, still with extras to cater to the wants. I pray and ask for wealth as how I perceive it to be, one that is intangible as it can only be experienced and felt. And may I always remember this to be what it means to be truly blessed."
Good night and may such blessings be yours as well.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
NEVER BEEN THE SAME
When I made that decision 9 months ago, I made it knowing it is what I wanted for myself and for the career path I was about to take. And, truthfully, I never regretted it bacause for the last 9 months I experienced what it is to work outside of the box, to get to do something new everyday, to think of new ideas and be able to do something about it. ... until, I learned the lesson that he who holds the cheque pretty much has the final say.
And so I am now back to where I was 9 months ago. Though I can say that is true for pretty much everything else other than from a financial POV. Not that I am regretting, but this current feeling is too familiar. And where I am now is a product of what I did to overcome it. Like they say, once you get to sleep on the bed, you'd never feel the same about sleeping on the floor.
I need to do something about this.
When I made that decision 9 months ago, I made it knowing it is what I wanted for myself and for the career path I was about to take. And, truthfully, I never regretted it bacause for the last 9 months I experienced what it is to work outside of the box, to get to do something new everyday, to think of new ideas and be able to do something about it. ... until, I learned the lesson that he who holds the cheque pretty much has the final say.
And so I am now back to where I was 9 months ago. Though I can say that is true for pretty much everything else other than from a financial POV. Not that I am regretting, but this current feeling is too familiar. And where I am now is a product of what I did to overcome it. Like they say, once you get to sleep on the bed, you'd never feel the same about sleeping on the floor.
I need to do something about this.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
KIDS...
Some happy thoughts before I go to bed tonight.
It is 10:30PM and I hear my housemate's son making kulit to my other housemate who is inside the bathroom. So I went out of my room to be entertained as well.
John: Hi Kimi. *Kimi motions to bless my hand. He does this everytime we reach home at the end of the day.
John: Oh, just now ah. What have you been doing inside your room?
Kimi: Ga tan.aw ug CSI
Kimi: Ga unsa diay ka? *Kimi peers into my room
John: Finished chatting with my mom.
Kimi: Asa diay imong mama?
John: Cebu
Kimi: Unsa pangalan sa imo papa?
John: Alfredo *I was tempted to follow that with telling him where my dad is, but he's too young to understand anyway
Kimi: Imong mama?
John: Mary, as in Mama Mary
Kimi: Ah, mama nimo si Mama Mary
Hahaha! I had a good laugh there. So I'm blogging this and going to bed with a good laugh to wrap up the day.
Some happy thoughts before I go to bed tonight.
It is 10:30PM and I hear my housemate's son making kulit to my other housemate who is inside the bathroom. So I went out of my room to be entertained as well.
John: Hi Kimi. *Kimi motions to bless my hand. He does this everytime we reach home at the end of the day.
John: Oh, just now ah. What have you been doing inside your room?
Kimi: Ga tan.aw ug CSI
Kimi: Ga unsa diay ka? *Kimi peers into my room
John: Finished chatting with my mom.
Kimi: Asa diay imong mama?
John: Cebu
Kimi: Unsa pangalan sa imo papa?
John: Alfredo *I was tempted to follow that with telling him where my dad is, but he's too young to understand anyway
Kimi: Imong mama?
John: Mary, as in Mama Mary
Kimi: Ah, mama nimo si Mama Mary
Hahaha! I had a good laugh there. So I'm blogging this and going to bed with a good laugh to wrap up the day.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Of Patience and Will Power
It's that time once more to be in the eye of the storm. For days, it will be quiet, like I'd be paid to sit and keep my chair warm. And after this phase comes to pass, it will be the moment to brave the waves ahead armed with nothing but a compass that seems to point North.
There are times I question the rate at which I go through phases in life. I think I am not that patient of a human being as I'd hope to see myself to be. At times, the thing I've been waiting for comes when I have already changed my heading. And so it highlights the power of the will, the power to choose and the assurance that somehow the road ahead leads me to better fields, better than what I would have been waiting long for. I guess time waits for no man, and likewise I do not wait for things that take too much time. It goes back to my impatience, but then again I am given just this amount of time in this one life that I have. And I cannot afford to waste it.
And so I move, without asking why or to where. All I know is that I'm moving, with luck, forwards.
It's that time once more to be in the eye of the storm. For days, it will be quiet, like I'd be paid to sit and keep my chair warm. And after this phase comes to pass, it will be the moment to brave the waves ahead armed with nothing but a compass that seems to point North.
There are times I question the rate at which I go through phases in life. I think I am not that patient of a human being as I'd hope to see myself to be. At times, the thing I've been waiting for comes when I have already changed my heading. And so it highlights the power of the will, the power to choose and the assurance that somehow the road ahead leads me to better fields, better than what I would have been waiting long for. I guess time waits for no man, and likewise I do not wait for things that take too much time. It goes back to my impatience, but then again I am given just this amount of time in this one life that I have. And I cannot afford to waste it.
And so I move, without asking why or to where. All I know is that I'm moving, with luck, forwards.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
GEEK POST: How to Enjoy HD Video and Audio from Your PC
I spent 3 hours trying to figure out what HDMI (High Definition Multimedia Interface) is all about. Been reading some technical posts from CNET, user feedback and troubleshooting tips from forums, my TV's user manual, my motherboard's user manual, and my nVidia 9600GT Sonic graphic cards' user manual.
To sum up, HDMI provides you with a lossless and future-proof solution for BOTH video and audio. Keyword is BOTH. With just ONE cable (which means less clutter), you can connect your PC to your LCD flatscreen and enjoy lossless transmission of both HD quality video and audio.
"And why lossless?" Because unlike composite, s-video and component cables that transmit analog signals, HDMI transmits video and audio data streams in digital format. AND, unlike those cables that connect your speakers and headphones to the lineout or headphone jack of your computer, the HDMI cable once again transmits in digital format. Even TOSLINK cables that utilize fiber optics to carry light waves is no match against HDMI, as losses can happen depending on how polished the fiber optic ends are.
Documentation (for those who want to enjoy their HTPC):
1. Have 3 things:
a.) An LCD TV with an HDMI slot
b.) Graphics card with HDMI port
c.) Motherboard with S/PDIF output headers
2. Install graphics card onto the PCIe 2.0 slot of the motherboard
3. Connect the 2-pin male header (imput) of the graphics card to the 2-pin male header (S/PDIF output of the motherboard) via a 2-pin (female-to-female) cable. This thin cable usually comes with the graphics card. This connection means that the sound from the PC travels from the motherboard (output) into the graphics card (imput).
4. Connect the graphics card's HDMI port to the HDMI port of the LCD TV via HDMI cable. With this connection, digital video and audio from your PC can now be transmitted in lossles digital format to your TV.
5. Cook some popcorn and enjoy your latest DVD acquisition. (Optional)
I spent 3 hours trying to figure out what HDMI (High Definition Multimedia Interface) is all about. Been reading some technical posts from CNET, user feedback and troubleshooting tips from forums, my TV's user manual, my motherboard's user manual, and my nVidia 9600GT Sonic graphic cards' user manual.
To sum up, HDMI provides you with a lossless and future-proof solution for BOTH video and audio. Keyword is BOTH. With just ONE cable (which means less clutter), you can connect your PC to your LCD flatscreen and enjoy lossless transmission of both HD quality video and audio.
"And why lossless?" Because unlike composite, s-video and component cables that transmit analog signals, HDMI transmits video and audio data streams in digital format. AND, unlike those cables that connect your speakers and headphones to the lineout or headphone jack of your computer, the HDMI cable once again transmits in digital format. Even TOSLINK cables that utilize fiber optics to carry light waves is no match against HDMI, as losses can happen depending on how polished the fiber optic ends are.
Documentation (for those who want to enjoy their HTPC):
1. Have 3 things:
a.) An LCD TV with an HDMI slot
b.) Graphics card with HDMI port
c.) Motherboard with S/PDIF output headers
2. Install graphics card onto the PCIe 2.0 slot of the motherboard
3. Connect the 2-pin male header (imput) of the graphics card to the 2-pin male header (S/PDIF output of the motherboard) via a 2-pin (female-to-female) cable. This thin cable usually comes with the graphics card. This connection means that the sound from the PC travels from the motherboard (output) into the graphics card (imput).
4. Connect the graphics card's HDMI port to the HDMI port of the LCD TV via HDMI cable. With this connection, digital video and audio from your PC can now be transmitted in lossles digital format to your TV.
5. Cook some popcorn and enjoy your latest DVD acquisition. (Optional)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
A New Chapter Begins
I am going back to the technical field, as well as the corporate environment. For months now, I have been enjoying the life of an executive and felt that in some way, my brain is shrinking and my skills are rusting. I recognize that I am one person who delights in learning new things and prides himself in creating new opportunities.
So today, I am signing up for a new chapter in my professional life with high hopes that this will be the perfect fit, or at least one that feeds my incessant craving for the nouveau.
I am going back to the technical field, as well as the corporate environment. For months now, I have been enjoying the life of an executive and felt that in some way, my brain is shrinking and my skills are rusting. I recognize that I am one person who delights in learning new things and prides himself in creating new opportunities.
So today, I am signing up for a new chapter in my professional life with high hopes that this will be the perfect fit, or at least one that feeds my incessant craving for the nouveau.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Jetsetter
As Friday drew to a close, my boss tells me "You're flying to Malaysia for training." And I asked when. "You're flying Sunday to be there by Monday morning."
"This Sunday, like 2 days from now?" "Yes, that is right."
*shocked
And I asked, "How long will the training be and where will it be held?" "You're coming back Friday and it will be at Universiti Teknologi Petronas in Ipoh... 2 hours drive from Penang airport"
*speechless (I was thinking "Like, do I have a choice?" I have reasons for not wanting to, especially at this point in time.)
And well yes, I'm now here blogging from the breakfast table of the hotel. Training starts in an hour.
As Friday drew to a close, my boss tells me "You're flying to Malaysia for training." And I asked when. "You're flying Sunday to be there by Monday morning."
"This Sunday, like 2 days from now?" "Yes, that is right."
*shocked
And I asked, "How long will the training be and where will it be held?" "You're coming back Friday and it will be at Universiti Teknologi Petronas in Ipoh... 2 hours drive from Penang airport"
*speechless (I was thinking "Like, do I have a choice?" I have reasons for not wanting to, especially at this point in time.)
And well yes, I'm now here blogging from the breakfast table of the hotel. Training starts in an hour.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
ENERGY SURGE
These past few days I feel so revved up, so charged up deep inside to the point that I think my body is burning in flames (like The Human Torch). I have been far away from home for more than half a year already and I'm glad that I have achieved so much in such short time. With the best housemates I could ever wish for, with my family and friends' support and with much favor from up above, I could only hope that things will be as promising as they are.
To more days like these!
These past few days I feel so revved up, so charged up deep inside to the point that I think my body is burning in flames (like The Human Torch). I have been far away from home for more than half a year already and I'm glad that I have achieved so much in such short time. With the best housemates I could ever wish for, with my family and friends' support and with much favor from up above, I could only hope that things will be as promising as they are.
To more days like these!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
TO LEARN HOW TO DANCE....
So Close lyrics
by Jon Mclaughlin
You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far
So Close lyrics
by Jon Mclaughlin
You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive
A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close
How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far
Friday, May 16, 2008
WARM THOUGHTS
... from friends I treasure most. And I can count them with my 2 hands. I realized that the most treasured bunch are always those that are so far away, have moved forward many steps away and yet always comeback somehow to let you know "Hey, I'm still alive!", to let you know where they are, and what have they been up to; to bring the good news of their adventures, things they have discovered and achieved. It warms my heart to know that these are the ones with life inside them, the genuine ones who, though far, yet are able to bring warmth on cold summer nights.
... from friends I treasure most. And I can count them with my 2 hands. I realized that the most treasured bunch are always those that are so far away, have moved forward many steps away and yet always comeback somehow to let you know "Hey, I'm still alive!", to let you know where they are, and what have they been up to; to bring the good news of their adventures, things they have discovered and achieved. It warms my heart to know that these are the ones with life inside them, the genuine ones who, though far, yet are able to bring warmth on cold summer nights.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
INNOVATION CONSULTING
Do I even know the meaning of these 2 words?
Well it involves thinking in new ways. I'd congruently say, doing new things with a lateral perspective. And to start with, I'm doing something new tomorrow, something I've never ever done before (also never even thought of doing)... feign sick, to try something new, to actually be paid to think in new ways.
I think this either could be due to a lack of or excess of sleep. I can't tell when I'm dreaming or I'm actually in the real world. Is there really such a thing? How come this never came out in my psyc classes, or even my I.E. electives.
This blog post is getting to have too much of the words "think" and "new". I think (there it is again) I should now go to sleep... or am I? I think this new (there it is again) role fits me. I've always wondered about the reason as to why I, more often than not, overanalyze things (or so do people think I do). It must have been some subconscious clue that led me to this. Nonetheless, this is definitely a novelty that shall keep me euphoric in the days to come.
Do I even know the meaning of these 2 words?
Well it involves thinking in new ways. I'd congruently say, doing new things with a lateral perspective. And to start with, I'm doing something new tomorrow, something I've never ever done before (also never even thought of doing)... feign sick, to try something new, to actually be paid to think in new ways.
I think this either could be due to a lack of or excess of sleep. I can't tell when I'm dreaming or I'm actually in the real world. Is there really such a thing? How come this never came out in my psyc classes, or even my I.E. electives.
This blog post is getting to have too much of the words "think" and "new". I think (there it is again) I should now go to sleep... or am I? I think this new (there it is again) role fits me. I've always wondered about the reason as to why I, more often than not, overanalyze things (or so do people think I do). It must have been some subconscious clue that led me to this. Nonetheless, this is definitely a novelty that shall keep me euphoric in the days to come.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
EVENTS
First of all, I want to greet Raine with a big warm HAPPY BIRTHDAY. >:D< This greeting goes halfway around the world to Vancouver via Blogger Express.
Next, my heartfelt congratulations to Joy and Dennis! Bells will be ringing this Sunday. Best wishes to them both for a happy married life together.
Bon voyage! to my dear friend and his family (you know who you are). Off to "Maple Leaf" land they will be in a week. Thank you for everything: all the good times, the constant confidence boost, the positive influence, the generosity and most of all the experience through the years. I feel fortunate and immensely blessed ever since day one (May 2, 2005). May our roads cross again. There are no goodbyes. Just See You Soon's.
Bon voyage! to my aunt Eya and Jaymes. Have a safe trip back to Sydney! I now have Jaymes' YM so we can keep in touch more often.
First of all, I want to greet Raine with a big warm HAPPY BIRTHDAY. >:D< This greeting goes halfway around the world to Vancouver via Blogger Express.
Next, my heartfelt congratulations to Joy and Dennis! Bells will be ringing this Sunday. Best wishes to them both for a happy married life together.
Bon voyage! to my dear friend and his family (you know who you are). Off to "Maple Leaf" land they will be in a week. Thank you for everything: all the good times, the constant confidence boost, the positive influence, the generosity and most of all the experience through the years. I feel fortunate and immensely blessed ever since day one (May 2, 2005). May our roads cross again. There are no goodbyes. Just See You Soon's.
Bon voyage! to my aunt Eya and Jaymes. Have a safe trip back to Sydney! I now have Jaymes' YM so we can keep in touch more often.
Monday, April 07, 2008
TECHNO HYPE
I've been on a DL spree to grab more and more techno music. There's a whole lot more out there that I'm missing. I'm posting one particular song that I like from DJ Tiesto.
Hope I get a turntable and a mixer this Christmas so I can be on my way to be in the likes of Armin van Buuren and yes, DJ Tiesto!
DJ TIESTO - JUST BE
I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel
So much better
You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be
They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes
To exotic locations wont teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact that you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be
'Cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part is inside me
I need to
Just be
I've been on a DL spree to grab more and more techno music. There's a whole lot more out there that I'm missing. I'm posting one particular song that I like from DJ Tiesto.
Hope I get a turntable and a mixer this Christmas so I can be on my way to be in the likes of Armin van Buuren and yes, DJ Tiesto!
DJ TIESTO - JUST BE
I was lost
And I'm still lost
But I feel
So much better
You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be
They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes
To exotic locations wont teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact that you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be
Just be
'Cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part is inside me
I need to
Just be
Monday, March 31, 2008
I Held My Breath On This One!
I checked Friendster and saw my bulletin with two posts from my dear brother. So I thought of checking up on him by reading the surveys he had posted. Well the last one on the survey list had me hold my breath before reading his answer...
28. Name things you have in common
with all your siblings?
* hmm.. we try our best in our fields..
and we care too much about others.. pero
thats about to change..
Hmmm... What a thing to be common about. ;)
I checked Friendster and saw my bulletin with two posts from my dear brother. So I thought of checking up on him by reading the surveys he had posted. Well the last one on the survey list had me hold my breath before reading his answer...
28. Name things you have in common
with all your siblings?
* hmm.. we try our best in our fields..
and we care too much about others.. pero
thats about to change..
Hmmm... What a thing to be common about. ;)
Monday, March 10, 2008
LIFE IN PARALLEL
I took this test from a friend's blog. I thought it was interesting to try and figure out if this test can yield something more than what I already know. Turns out the questionnaire was right on target. And the results, I think, even more so. It just affirms what I've always been so fascinated about. I am just a year off from everything I see. It's good to be the younger one in this parallel world. At least I can have my own Oracle, the tale of things to come. bwahahaha
I took this test from a friend's blog. I thought it was interesting to try and figure out if this test can yield something more than what I already know. Turns out the questionnaire was right on target. And the results, I think, even more so. It just affirms what I've always been so fascinated about. I am just a year off from everything I see. It's good to be the younger one in this parallel world. At least I can have my own Oracle, the tale of things to come. bwahahaha
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  6.9 |
| Mind: | 7.1 |
| Body: |  8 |
| Spirit: |  5.4 |
| Friends/Family: |  3.5 |
| Love: |  2.1 |
| Finance: | 8.1 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
Monday, February 18, 2008
PASSING...
News came across the seas that my uncle's secretary passed away. She has stayed in the family business really long. I've known her since I was kindergarten. She'd arrange for me to be picked up by the driver and sometimes she helps arrange for many things like for our car to be fixed to my driver's license to knowing the whereabouts of my uncles and aunts who are working in the business. I have fond childhood memories of her especially those times when I visit the office for my lunch and when we all gathered for the company's parties. I remember reading the newspapers across her while she types her way through her typewriter. My deepest condolences to her family. Rest in peace, Brenda.
"Time is a precious and important people in our lives even more so. While people come ang go, those who've stuck with us through the good and the bad are for keeps."
News came across the seas that my uncle's secretary passed away. She has stayed in the family business really long. I've known her since I was kindergarten. She'd arrange for me to be picked up by the driver and sometimes she helps arrange for many things like for our car to be fixed to my driver's license to knowing the whereabouts of my uncles and aunts who are working in the business. I have fond childhood memories of her especially those times when I visit the office for my lunch and when we all gathered for the company's parties. I remember reading the newspapers across her while she types her way through her typewriter. My deepest condolences to her family. Rest in peace, Brenda.
"Time is a precious and important people in our lives even more so. While people come ang go, those who've stuck with us through the good and the bad are for keeps."
Saturday, February 09, 2008
7 Days
... ago my family arrived at Changi Airport. I have given them this long awaited vacation and it was a nice feeling to be the one waiting at the arrival gates this time around. In 7 days we toured Singapore and parts of Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur and Genting). For 7 days, I lived with such joy and freedom, traveling from place to place being the tour guide and the tourist as well. I laughed hard and indulged like there was no tomorrow.
And in 7 hours, all these would be a fond memory to last me till the next visit. 7 hours from their departure, I sit here wishing I had Hiro's powers.
... ago my family arrived at Changi Airport. I have given them this long awaited vacation and it was a nice feeling to be the one waiting at the arrival gates this time around. In 7 days we toured Singapore and parts of Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur and Genting). For 7 days, I lived with such joy and freedom, traveling from place to place being the tour guide and the tourist as well. I laughed hard and indulged like there was no tomorrow.
And in 7 hours, all these would be a fond memory to last me till the next visit. 7 hours from their departure, I sit here wishing I had Hiro's powers.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
THE LIGHT THAT SHINES WHEN ALL ELSE FADE INTO THE DARK
A close friend shared this to me and I thought that these words immortalize my prayers that have gone for years hoping that eachtime I offer it to the One above, it brings our paths closer to each other.
This letter is beautiful as it is. I could write these in my own words and it would still be beautiful. But this would suffice in print, for my truest wishes shall remain in my prayers, and prayers shall once turn to His blessing: the one who keeps my heart, whose heart is in mine.
I would like to share this letter knowing that we all struggle in some way and fight our daily and somehow endless battles. And if this brings even a little bit of inspiration for someone to hold on and endure one moment longer then this letter would have served its purpose. Whether man or woman, this is a good read. For God created man and woman both with feelings, both with the equal capacity to love and be loved. If you have read this letter before then may it bring warmth into your heart once more.
Parts of this letter may suggest the gender of the author. I believe it is a letter for anyone regardless of gender as we all get swept off our feet in our own unique ways. Thank you to the author, whoever it may be, for the inspiration. May it touch more hearts, millions out there.
Here it is:
A Letter To The One That God Has Prepared For Me
I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me. If like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.
I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.
Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known love. I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person; and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!
You just dont know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off
my feet! Perhaps your smile, or your eyes would draw me to you, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!
I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me - the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all the pain and sacrifice.
After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect - for you! I wonder if youve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if youve been hurt so many times along the journey.
But my dearest one, please dont ever give up because I am right here; patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.
At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky. Hoping that somehow you are wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when the time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!
In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't worry; don't be afraid about getting lost. God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.
A close friend shared this to me and I thought that these words immortalize my prayers that have gone for years hoping that eachtime I offer it to the One above, it brings our paths closer to each other.
This letter is beautiful as it is. I could write these in my own words and it would still be beautiful. But this would suffice in print, for my truest wishes shall remain in my prayers, and prayers shall once turn to His blessing: the one who keeps my heart, whose heart is in mine.
I would like to share this letter knowing that we all struggle in some way and fight our daily and somehow endless battles. And if this brings even a little bit of inspiration for someone to hold on and endure one moment longer then this letter would have served its purpose. Whether man or woman, this is a good read. For God created man and woman both with feelings, both with the equal capacity to love and be loved. If you have read this letter before then may it bring warmth into your heart once more.
Parts of this letter may suggest the gender of the author. I believe it is a letter for anyone regardless of gender as we all get swept off our feet in our own unique ways. Thank you to the author, whoever it may be, for the inspiration. May it touch more hearts, millions out there.
Here it is:
A Letter To The One That God Has Prepared For Me
I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me. If like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.
I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions.
Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known love. I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person; and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!
You just dont know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off
my feet! Perhaps your smile, or your eyes would draw me to you, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways!
I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me - the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all the pain and sacrifice.
After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect - for you! I wonder if youve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if youve been hurt so many times along the journey.
But my dearest one, please dont ever give up because I am right here; patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.
At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky. Hoping that somehow you are wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when the time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!
In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don't worry; don't be afraid about getting lost. God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.