OF MEN AND WOMEN: "SAY WHAT???"

I came home tonight to a movie "Serendipity" showing on my big screen. My two housemates were watching the film while their eyes were fixated on their laptops (surfing and chatting). So I asked teasingly, "Is someone even watching?" And to my amazement they said, in unison, "YES?".

Then my housemate whom we shall call Miss A tells another housemate Miss J, "Ka scary ana noh if ang imo guy naa ingana klase nga hangups pa sa iya past" (Translated: Isn't that scary if your guy still has those kinds of hangups from his past.) She was referring to a scene in the movie and she pulled me into their conversation as to how girls can be so clueless as to when their guy is ready. And (in my innocence or complete insensitivity?) I said, "It's not difficult, you can tell!" And I was responded to with a unifying "NO!" Then Miss J says, "Mahirap man sabhihin sa guy na kelan cya magiging ready. Di namin alam noh kung kelan kayo mag pop sa question o kelan kayo ready na to settle down." I remained silent. It's better to just listen coz you get to learn more that way.

And it went on with Miss A telling her story of her current long term and long distance relationship. She said that it is impossible to just tell the guy to "hurry up!" And so I responded with, "I disagree with that. There are ways to get a guy moving and it usually has something to do with tapping the fact that men, by nature, are competitive creatures. Two things: Men's Ego/Pride and the fear of losing you" And then I continued to say that when men are compared with other men, they tend to be more driven to be at par with their peers or even more successful. When men run the risk of losing you, they'd find ways for that not to happen (unless they like someone else too without you knowing). And then I told them the story of how my ex-girlfriend was able to (perhaps unknowingly on her part, and I don't think she or anyone else knows this) push me to do things that I never thought anyone could have such a positive influence over my already laid-out plans. I guess anything can happen. I told them of the story of how I worked hard and made critical decisions to get to the United States knowing that the object of my affection may someday, in the very near and immediate future, migrate to Chicago.

Miss A then asked me what happened to that. And to keep the long story short, I said that by the time I had set foot on US soil, we were no longer together. And asked where the ex is now, I told her "They never migrated. She's still in Cebu." And there was silence.

Then Miss A breaks the silence saying, "There's no need to have someone push you John. I mean we all see that you've achieved a lot na and the sense of responsibility is there. It's just that THE responsibility is not there." And Miss J silently nods in agreement.

And there, I was speechless. The living room was silent. It was 1AM.

And it so affirms my belief that the choice of a woman can make or break a man.