-++-!!!Happy 18th Birthday to my beloved Brother!!!-++-

I woke up really late today. I was supposed to attend a CEC meeting regarding the assignment concessionaire booth spaces, a Robotics Club meeting and a FlashMX lecture... but I woke up at around 10AM... and so I miss all 3 of them... hehehe... nasty. This is what happens when I indulge too much of this free internet connection. In lieu of what I was supposed to do, I turned on my PC and continue to design my Christmas template, which I just finished a few minutes ago... I'll upload it in 3 day's time, since art must be progressively observed to be able to notice those minor flaws.

As for today, I spent the afternoon helping Leslie bake a strawberry shortcake. It definitely was, literally was, a SHORT cake. Instead of 3 layers of sponge cake, we reduced it to 2 really thin layers (like pizza...) why???... well, we lacked equipment, the recipe instructions given by Leslie's friend were rather vague and the dough took so long to get cooked, so some of the layers were still sticky. Instead of baking a cake, I think we learned how to bake really tasty EGGNOG. It was better than eggnog... hehehe. Well, at least it wasn't a total flop. The kiwi and strawberries surely tasted good... the icing was unique, but I think I added too much water such that the cream collapsed. So what we did was to freeze the cake and hopefully it could pass as an ice cream cake... hehe. I'll leave baking to the ladies and do more frying instead... hehehe.

We had dinner at Bigby's Cafe. I met Adrian Ding there and he recognized my face since I helped him set up his laptop and projector during a Pharma seminar a few months ago. He even thought I was a Pharmacy student, but I told him proudly that I was CompE... naks... just told him that I was at Pharma since I was asked to help set up his techie-stuff. He asked why I took that course and I had to explain him that long story that dates back to the Marian hills of the land of white and blue. He's really friendly, but he knew me by face value only so he had to ask my name. When I mentioned his name, he asked me how I got to know him. Well, let's just say that during my high school days, I got handcuffed to her sister in one of the SHS-G fairs... hehe. I could still remember struggling to get those cuffs off (trying so hard to magic my right hand to shrink...) and I hated those who handcuffed me. I hated the whole handcuffing ordeal (having to pay chits to be freed, having to waste chits over a chocolate or a card for the girl, not to mention the shame of being seen tied to someone else). And, as a matter of fact, I also ended up hating the girl I got handcuffed to (Ding's sister... forgot her name) 'coz her friends kept teasing us. Hahaha! I was so inutil then... hehehe. Hahay... I just laff whenever I reminisce things of the past just like that one. Life's been so colorful.

I was so sleepy the whole day... this is what I get for sleeping again at 4AM... hehe. Now that I've ran out of things to download, I guess I could catch up on my sleep. Anyway, last night I had a very interesting conversation over phone... my longest so far... clocking at a rate of 2 hours and 39 minutes... hehehe. I had fun talking, by the way... As for today, had an exam under Sir Burce... wasn't as difficult as I expected. THat's the good thing with Sir... he makes you scared, so you'd really study. If you really do study and listen very well to his discussions, a flat one grade won't be far away... hehehe. I felt so relieved today. So I treated myself to a nice green tea frappuccino at Starbucks tonight... yummm... Someone posted about my template, and yeah... a new one's brewing on the sketch boards...

Got nothing to blog now, so I'll post some lyrics I've longed to post.

MAYBE
by Side A

There I was waiting for a chance
Hoping that you�ll understand
The things I wanna say
As my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed the door
Why don�t you try to open up your heart
I won�t take so much of your time

Maybe it�s wrong to say please love me too
�Coz I know you�ll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it�s wrong to love you more each day
�Coz I know he�s here to stay
But I know to whom you share it along

I believed what you said to me
We should set each other free
That�s how we wanted to be
But my love went stronger than before
I wanna see you more and more
But you closed the door
Why don�t you try to open up your heart
I won�t take much of your time

Maybe it�s wrong to say please love me too
�Coz I know you�ll never do
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you
Maybe it�s wrong to love you more each day
�Coz I know he�s here to stay
But my love is strong
I don�t know if this is wrong
But I know to whom you share it along
(Repeat 2x)

Just wanna blog a few things. Before I got here, where I'm blogging at Metro Cafe, I rode on the Metro elevator. The sekyu tickled my funny bone with the way he "entertained " us throughout the ride. For every floor that the elevator doors would open to, he would tell us what the floor has in store for us, he'd greet newcomers and say Thank You to those leaving the elevator. It was rather funny, but I guess that's what we need nowadays, more hardworking employees. If only I were one of the sons of the Gaisano's I'd recommend the sekyu for a promotion. Anyway, if you peeps wanna expereince what I mean, check it out for yourself.

As to my main entry for today... I was supposed to surf the net again till the wee hours of the morning last night, but I was too tired that I slept as early as 8PM. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the heaviest days of the week for me. Yesterday, due to the frustrations of programming in Assembly and due to just pure exhaustion, I was able to tell Sir Barangan that perhaps I'll withdraw the subject and retake basic assembly. At that I remembered his rule in giving grades... KSAV (Knowledge,Skills,Attitude,Values).. I think I made a boo boo there. I dunno, but my brain is not functioning nowadays. I dunno why. It's the sign of the times and I'm just getting old.... pffft. I just hope the people around me will understand if I I get cranky and easily irritated these days... hahay... Christmas season pa naman. I really don't intentionally say those mean stuff. I'm just too stressed, so hope you'd understand my occassional zings. I guess I'm not making sense here, so I better shut up. Loooong day again tomorrow. geesh.

I'm really enjoying this unlimited access from 12MN to 7AM. My internal body clock has already shifted to accomodate this... hehe. It's now a few minutes past 3AM and I'm still wide awake. I'm downloading tons of MP3s and software updates to keep this computer of mine running in tiptop condition.

My mind keeps running with this certain image I can't get out of my head. It can't be happening again! I've already surrendered when it comes to fire... please get it off my system. Tried playing some games, but didn't work. Hopefully I could hit the sack with a clear mind after I blog this.

Les, I won't post the comments here 'coz the others won't understand what we're talking about. We'll talk about it during the weekend. As to the testimonial, any comments?... maybe I could revise it somehow 'coz I wrote it together with my previously long blogpost. Just tag me your comments so I can revise it at Friendster. Please don't hesitate, 'coz I think I can write better than what I've already written.

I got this invitation to join a Christmas party on the 18th this December. It will be like last year's party with the manito-manita stuff minus the cooking I did on almost all the dishes served, minus also that gutsy, but shameful act of kneeling infront of someone... hehehe. I don't want to see those *tooooot faces, but the one who invited me is someone that is in very good terms with me. I think those pathetic quadro losers didn't have the face to ask me, so they asked someone close to me to invite me in. Well, as what I told Melvs, I stick to my principle regarding invitations... and as long as the one inviting has nothing to do with my hesitation, then I always accept the invitation. Just being fair and proper here. I just hope my manita is worth the gift, or else I better buy some explosives to blast them off to the planet urANUS.... hehehe... Oh well, I'll lower my budget this time... maybe 200 will do fine. Revenge is so sweet and enticing. Somebody reign my horses in please... mwahahaha

Here are the designs of the 2 posters I mentioned earlier:

I wanted to post this blog Saturday night, but I reached home so tired and so *ahem, that I just slept so that nothing could ruin my Saturday. Read between the lines.

Saturday was one really long day for me, full of meetings, surprises and BLOOPERS. Had a Robotics Club meeting from 8 to 11. After that meeting, had to rush to an 11:00 lecture on Flash, which started at 12...grrr and ended sometime 2:00. I thought it was an advanced lecture, but to my surprise it was more like "click this, click that" for beginners. At least I got to see a demo of some existing websites that were made using Flash. Planned to pass an entry for Bigfoot's contest on Flash animation, but I think time is not on our side. Too many things to do for the council and passing that entry would take up much of my precious time. I'd rather start preparing for next year's web awards and perhaps pass a more award-worthy entry... hehe.

I was so eager to go to the mall to take a breather from my loooong week at school, but when I reached home, mom came down with a terrible migraine, so we stayed home all afternoon. After a massage at 4, mom felt better, so we left home at around 5. Was supposed to meet up with Leslie at Ayala at 5:00, but had to be "driver", so change of sked for me. Went to SM to have some keys duplicated and to buy a cell battery for my bro's fone. We then had dinner at Tsai, love the place and their new menu for November. Went to Ayala and was able to make apas. Met Leslie and Rouselle at Mercury Drug, then we went to Starbucks to wait for Diane and to just talk stuff. My stomach was full, so I bought nothing. Selle bought a bottle of their mineral water so that we could stay in the place without the "guilt" hehe. I enjoyed the whole chat at Starbucks. Nice place, nice people... met many people there... mura kog artista nga daghan kaayo kaila. Beth was on the table behind us, then came Gregory's mom, then Earl Uy came and then, Nitnit was there with her family, and many more. Pwede na ko ma mascot sa Starbucks... hehehe Uyyyy, someone owes me a bangka and another someone owes me a picture...mwahahahaha! Maningil jud ko!

Just as Diane arrived, I had to leave 'coz "driver" again... argh. Went home after closing our shop. Arrived home to an incompetent computer full of error messages... I wanted to blog, but was too tired, wanted to throw the PC to the big trash can, but I thought... what about my MP3s... hahaha so I hit the sack smiling ear to ear.

As to my Sunday, went to Makro early in the morning to buy hotdogs for the store. Then had breakfast at the Jollibee outlet outside Makro. Went to hear mass... always loved Msgr. Dakay's humorous homilies, the best! Went home to have lunch that was so... sarap! Started designing 2 posters for our council activities for the month of December. The posters took me the whole afternoon to conceptualize and design. My mind ran out of resources, so I had to reboot it by going to Ayala. Went shopping for Christmas gifts for our relatives in the land down under.

At Rustan's there was a family of 4, a mom and her 3 daughters I suppose. One of the girls, I know her to be the daughter of my "Tito". What caught my attention is that all 4 of them took a glance at me and went giggling off. It's the second time I've seen them do this. The first time of which was at a mass at Sacred Heart Church months ago. Did I do something wrong? I didn't feel good about it. I don't know any of them except my Tito's daughter. What confused me is why the mom also smiled as the 3 of them went giggling. Enlighten me peeps, my brain is not functioning. It's now my turn to get a female's POV.

Okay, here's something for you peeps to laugh about for all I care. I should put a LAFF KORNER in my blogsite, seems like I'm so bloopers nowadays. I think I'm just too stressed out. Okay, this blooper incident happened AFTER that giggling incident, so it has nothing to do with it. Here it goes. As mom asked for my opinion about a dress at Rustan's Jill for my aunt Eya, I did something really stupid... so bloopers. I took the dress, went for the mirror and placed the dress right infront of me as if I were wearing it... WHAT!!!???!!!??? I didn't know what made me do a silly thing like that... I need to see a doctor! Hahaha! Mom was laughing the whole time. It's so seldom to see her laugh out loud like that. I didn't know what to do, so I told her to do the shopping herself... I surrendered my shopping privileges and sat at the Ferragamo sofa chairs to ponder on what I just did. I think I know where this is going. The mental hospital will be admitting one additional patient this month. Christmas in the mental institution, anyone?

I'm so perky now... at 2:00AM! After dinner at Rai-Rai Ken with my lola, mom and bro, I bought an Infocom prepaid card for a hundred bucks... guess wat? I'm really enjoying these free hours from 12AM to 7AM... weeee... forgive me peeps, I just feel as if I've won the lottery...

I just finished designing one of the posters... wanted to make the second one, but my eyes have ran out of "taste", so have to do some other stuff and then back to work. I don't plan to sleep the whole night anyway... with this 7 hour access, there's no way I'm taking a break.

Read my previous post, I'm sure it drained much of your energy... sorry po, but just wanted to answer the questions "profoundly" as how Van put it. I left out something though, something important.

Before that, ika ilang HT na ba yan? hehe joke lang. As to the vice, I think I have an idea... hmmm... he keeps on... playing video games???... if that's it then I tell you I have this friend nga they split up because of video games!!! Ang babaw talaga!

As to the thing I left out, here it is. What's your understanding of that fear you said about breaking the bond if you go beyond friendship? Is it really a fear, or is it just the way things are still in your life? It's good that you noted that fear thing. It's true that sometimes we tend to take things to the next level only to find out that somehow everything we worked hard for gets lost in the process. I don't think it's fear, Van. Only you would know what you are capable of and what you are not capable of yet.

And here's something about guys... hehe. Maybe your HT is the kind of guy I'm reffering to here. With your kind of person, I'm pretty sure your HT belongs to the "pedigree" type, if you know what I mean... yung hindi askal... hehe. IF, that is, IF I were to assume na may gusto siya sa 'yo, I think what's happening to both of you now is also what my simulated program of the whole situation will project. The pieces of the puzzle fits. He doesn't have commitment issues. He just has issues on committing NOW. He's just that kind of guy who won't make a move until he's sure that he can handle a relationship in general. Being sigurista is different, because a sigurista moves only if he/she knows that the other party likes him/her. I know you can work the "fears" and differences out eventually, so no need to worry about that... But I ask you Van, if you were in his shoes, would you like to start a relationship already facing a problem or an uncertainty? Only you can answer that.

I'll show you an example of how different it is if problems arise before "WE" and after "WE". Most karaan Insik are not allowed to have a BF/GF who is of the same family name as the person. I give you a situation that involves me and I'll show you how my mind worked at that time. Alam mo, because of this, dami ko nang secrets nailabas 'coz I can't think of a better real-life example that can show a guy's POV... I hope this is worth it, pero sige na lang, I wanna rid off my secrets anyway, except the DARK ones... mwahahaha... if ever there are.

I think you know of Michelle Lim... do you?.. oo na.. si #1... #1 dati. Pareho kami... Lim. During the time where my eyes still sparkle for her (drama), I didn't know whether I'm allowed to court someone of the same family name. I didn't even know if mom was okay with the idea of me having a GF at my age. During that time, I'd deny my feelings, so that I won't do anything that might lead on to something forbidden. So whenever the Pharma peeps teased us, wala lang... cool lang ako. There was even once that I said something bad about Michelle just to prove that what they're teasing me is false. I'm so BAAAAD!!! With my reaction, obvious na bata pa ako noon... bata pa rin ngayon... hehehe. But I took it back eventually and had to eat my own words. It didn't taste good at all. *spit. And then there was one night na di ko talaga matiis, so I asked my mom that "If ever magka GF ako, pwede ba same family name". Of course mom asked why, and then I said, "Wala lang. Ask lang ko for precautionary measures." Liar! And then since yun na ang naging topic, todo ko na ring tinanong "Ma, kung Filipina, ok lang ba?" I think I pushed it too far this time... and it took mom a long while to answer me. I guess she grilled me with around 10 questions plus, before she gave me an answer of "Pwede, as long as mabait, because I'd rather a nice Filipina girl than a Chinese one who will give headaches to you." Aba, concerned... Naks naman! Sarap ng tulog ko nang gabing yun. It felt as if I gained an extra pair of lungs. After that night, if you knew me then, you'd probably see me frequently passing through the Pharma area to take a short "silip". There was even one time I allowed my friend to make me deliver something all the way t the Chem department. I was never the person who'd allow someone to boss me around, but somehow I gave in just to be able to pass by Pharma since it happens to be on the way to Chem dept.

See Van, my example was one that shows that maybe he still has issues about himself, relationships, time management, etc. that he still has to decide for himself. Truthfully, I still can't resolve my issues regarding landline phones. I can't picture myself calling my GF in the night to talk like those 7-hour chats till 4AM. Still a no no!

Okay, I got a few minutes since my sundo will be an hour late...

I'll post this for Vanessa. Other's read on, you might need it sometime, whether for yourself or to help a friend.

Let's go through it one at a time. I don't know how you should take my comments, but I'll just give it in black and white... it's up to you to decide whether it's black or white... no in-betweens please.

Comment for what you posted below the heading "On my distinctively colorful lovelife�as if I have one�"

Your HT has feelings, 'coz he's still a human being. Guys CAN be dense and insensitive... sometimes, most of the time, given a certain case, but it can NEVER BE TOTALLY. Girls, overanalyzing???... it's normal... , we guys do too. You can take me as an example for that...hehehe, right Mangks? It's not assuming to wonder... each one has a right to wonder and dream. Kilig moments??? guys are mostly insensitive about such things. Guys do sweet stuff not for the reason of getting that kilig feeling after... or like... thinking about it even if it was already months or years ago. Men are mostly "IMMEDIATE"... the feeling is now, now, now. If it feels good now, then cool, but if not, we get over it and try some other time.

Now for the questions.

Q1: If someone lets just say, a person who doesn�t know that you have a thing for your HT, teases you in front of him or her, what would you do? What would your reaction be??

I'd smile, but try not to give out the true meaning behind the smile. I won't like the idea of my HT knowing my feelings out of a joke or a tease from someone. I would rather let him do the teasing on me and then when nobody's around perhaps tell her the truth... but it's a guy thing to do. Mahirap kung ang babae ang siyang mismo magsabi sa lalaki...diba? As to what I'd do, I'll kill that person who teased me... he/she better run for dear life! hahahaha! Seriously, I'd tell that person straight out not to tease me again... that is if it is safe to disclose that info. It could be that the person teasing is the bestfriend of the HT, so in that case, BASA ka na rin. To admit one's feelings for a person must be said to that person discretely. Afterwards, you can broadcast it over CNN for all I care, but the "ideal" thing is to let that person be the first to know.... parang CNN na rin... be the first to know... hahaha!

Q2: If your HT becomes your close friend over a period of time, would you be pleased or would you hate the idea of you being his/her buddy?

I'd be happy that we got close. It's a good way to start. Relationships are best when people start off as very close friends. That way, when problems arise, it's easier to talk thing through. Plus, with the long span of time na friends kayo, it won't be easy to break off the relationship kasi sayang naman ang mga pinagdaanan diba? I'd rather risk losing a lover/crush/HT or anumang tawag diyan than to lose a friend. Mas masakit kapag mawala sa piling mo ang isang matalik na kaibigan. Question lang, I'm curious, what made you say that "you hate the idea of him being your buddy"??? Masama ba yon? I don't think it's wrong to be friends with someone, especially if that someone is a person you really like and would want to get to know more of.

Q3: If you showed him/her that you truly care for him/her and he/she still ends up being totally clueless of how you feel what would you do???

Ito ang mahirap na part. Medyo mahaba 'to, so read if you want to.

Many tears have been shed because of this question. It's really sad to note that there are just some people you can't please no matter how much effort you've put up for them. Sir Delante shared me a story of his na parang ganito, but not in a romance type. It was more of him helping someone out and that person didn't even care to remember him for the good thing he did and even disowned him as a friend. I can't tell the story, but if you heard of it, you'd see the world so differently, you'd wanna kill anyone who asks for your help next time...hahaha! Seriously, I can't say I speak for men's POV, but here's what I have to say based on my actions and feelings from an experience I had before.

There's a saying that "Who we like, doesn't like us and those that we don't, really do." Entiende? Before, I thought of this reality as really SICK, but somehow there's a reason for it. The reason for that is for us to really find the "right" match. Before, there was a girl from IE who kinda liked me. Whenever I passed by their classroom, I'd see heads turn as I walked. Quite flattering, but I honestly didn't like it. That particular girl was always nice to me, and so I was nice to her... same as what my #1 told me before... but it was up to there. I liked her for the nice things she did, pero I wasn't ready for anything and honestly, there were many things about her that I just can't reconcile with. She may be nice, but I just wonder what she'd be like kung maging "kami" na. The thing there is that I never did anything to suggest to her that I like her (because I really didn't have feelings for her), so that she won't be thinking wrong. Had I rided along with the whole thing, I might break her heart. She's still here in TC. Ocassionally, they do their "thing" that I don't really like, but I keep the friendship. I can't get mad or throw insults at them because they really did nothing seriously wrong. Masama bang mag-admire?... hindi naman.

So Van, I'm sure your HT has felt all the care you've done for him. Even the manhid that I am, I was still able to feel it. But my advice to you is to keep the friendship. It might develop somehow, but in a time that he may choose to... or better yet in a time HE up above chooses to. Show you care, but don't give your heart totally 'coz I don't want to see a friend of mine get hurt. Someone (*wrist) did that to me before and I learned it the hard way, so I hope with this advice, you, my friend, won't have to.

Van, I think he (whoever your HT is) knows that you like him. Some guys love to assume that and most of the time they are confident about it lalo na if they have tested you and na-buking ka. You haven't told me who that person is, so mahirap i-analyze ang intentions nya and how his mindframe is. To be safe, so that I don't judge anyone here, my analysis is that he's not ready yet for such things. Mosat likely he has someone special other than you. But then again that someone could be YOU. I don't know, but it's a possibility. Maybe hindi pa naging "kayo" kasi wala pang "spark" on his side. Tinatamad lang siya siguro or maybe he knows that since you like him, you'll always be there... so parang spare tire ka na rin. You won't like that to happen.

The best thing you can do now is meet more people. Sooner or later you'll find out if he's really the one for you. Study and do well in your studies... that's what I'm doing and seriously, it's more worth crying over grades than crying over someone who doesn't even care. I'd rather cry to have my tears feed a dehydrated plant than to waste it on insensitive wrethches... hahaha! Smile Van and know that you have friends. I sometimes wonder why we risk so much even to the point of getting bitterly hurt just to be able to pour out all that love inside for that one single person, when in fact we can get so much more love from our friends and there are also many out there whom we could help and love. I wonder why it's like that.

Anyway, hope I have shed some light to the topic.

I got cut off my internet connection sa bahay. I asked my ISP kasi to cut it when I reach my limit, 'coz I have this tendency of downloading MP3s during dusk and I tend to fall asleep, so the meter continues to count even if no bytes/files are being transferred. So there's my remedy and since I overshot my limit, this is what I have to pay... 9 more agonizing days of no connection. Have to buy a prepaid card tomorrow to augment this.

I still have many things to do, like design 2 posters which will need a net connection for the images... grrrr and have to make a testimonial for Leslie and then answer Vanessa's BIG Q, so I'll just type all those tonight and hopefully post them when I get a prepaid connection..

I'll be having lotsa fun tomorrow. Robotics lessons in the morning, Flash animation tutorial and demo over noon and MALLING with friends in the afternoon. Sana we get to have a nice dinner, para kumpleto ang araw... hehehe.

By the way, nice chat last night Maia. I had fun, pero like they say good things have to end... The sala is closely connected to my Ama's room, so kawawa naman... she has to sleep.

Another school day it was. Had fun making stambay at the department... for the first time. I didn't know that the CompE department could be a stambayan... hehehe... Well, Corrine was there together with Tiffany... they were volunteering to be the "secretary" while Ma'am Ann went home for some emergency. Well, had fun talking with them... definitely first impressions aren't everything. Till here muna coz I'm blogging at TAP and my sundo will be here any moment now.

Just got home and opened a couple of emails. I wanna note specifically one which I got both from Maia and Leslie. It was a forwarded message entitled "I Love You No Matter What" It was definitely a loooong and COLORFUL email complete with practically all the cliches there is about love and relationships. I found the points there true and hopefully... hopefully I could once again embrace them... hopefully someone can make me believe in MAGIC like Paypims does. I know it takes a lot to let go and let be, but I still believe in the most constant thing in this world... CHANGE.

Oh well, I'm enjoying a nice song from Side A... dunno the title, but I know it's been around for years, but it's only now that I sorta play it over and over again on Winamp. I'll post the lyrics once I get the song title.

Hahay... boring days are here again. I think my head's gonna explode soon with all the lectures my professors are giving me... have to find something to take my mind off those logic diagrams and equations. I know it's still Tuesday, but I'm soooo looking forward to a nice afternoon with friends and at the movies this weekend. Can we just fast-forward to Saturday pleeease....

This is a reply to what Leslie asked me to analyze in her blog posted at www.kenzz.blogspot.com.

First of all, why's he so defensive of the type of message? I mean when people send messages, they don't explain to the recipients that they sent that same message to everyone else. When I send text messages to people, I don't have to brag and tell them that I sent it to others just to show off or to make that person feel special. I dunno, but it's kind of a weird thing to do. Personalized messages usually aren't sent to everybody. It's sent only to the person involved. Even if they were sent to everyone accidentally, you don't have to broadcast that detail to the entire world.

From what you analyzed, it seems that magulo ang situation... If you think that his phone doesn't have the "Send to all" feature, then you're hunch is most likely to be true. From what I've read and what I've experienced yesterday, I only have 2 possible analysis. It's either he has this unusually weird streak or he's much of a pretender. One thing though, I don't trust people like that. Usually when people are hard to analyze and they do things that confuse you as to their intentions, there's only one thing to be sure of... they're hiding something or they're just telling you "stories" to make you go delusional. They are the kinds of people who do not show to us who they really are. Whether he's weird or "plastic", either way it's bad. I never liked liars, 'coz trust is REALLY a big issue for me... I never give second chances in this area. Once a liar, always a liar.

I think that's all I am to comment 'coz I really don't know that person, so I can't be the judge.

Hmmm... this will be a lengthy one.

Today was one of those "colorful" days minus the blues, purples and dark shades of gray. Yellow rays of the sun awoke me to an early 7:00 morning. Had to go to school to preside over a council meeting at the same time attend a Robotics Club lecture. I had to forego the latter, since planning is what my engine is made for. We had a very successful brainstorming session this morning. I've finally incorporated some form of communtiy service into the council's calendar of activities. We planned for a raffle this Christmas and an outreach program "Adopt-A-Child" I don't know how to do this exactly, but I hope that we can put this thing together for the little KIDS. For the first time, we're planning to hold a Decorate-A-Classroom competition in our CompE wing. Sounds like grade-school, but it would be nice to see CompE students united in making our 5 classrooms shine with that Christmas ambiance. Just a thought... we should hang a few mistletoes! HAHA!

We've noticed the dying Christmas spirit... yeah yeah luma na yan... so it would be nice to at least put some effort to revive it somehow. When I was younger, I used to look forward to Christmas with so much enthusiasm, that I once was able to put up the Christmas tree all by myself, decors, lights and all, but that was before... like 10 years ago. Now, it's like... *(cricket sound)... Christmas just passes by like - go to mass, opening of gifts, thank you's, Noche Buena and that's all. Some Christmas Day's of the past just seemed like ordinary Sundays. Ho hum... I would so much like it to be different this year, but HOW??? Still have to make ammends with Him up above.

Back to our meeting, we planned for a Counterstrike tournament open for all USC students... that's for those who are socially-aware enough to read the posters... and we also planned to open a cookie factory booth for Heart's Day... hehehe. Roses are RED and they're... common and boring, so let's go into FOOD! Ma-busog pa ang girl... hehehe And then we planned what to propose to Globe, since they're planning to make an investment for our CompE department... weeee! FREE Internet Access, High-performance PCs and a server that downloads softwares for us to burn into CDs for school use (Home copy)! We also planned to throw a big year-end party FREE ENTRANCE for the CompE peeps, probably at Sunflower City. I hope I'll have the money for this crazy venture of mine.

By the time we ended our Council meeting, the Robotics lecture also ended, so I never got the chance to hear the lecture... sacrifice again. But with every sacrifice comes a CONSOLATION PRIZE... and seems like today's consolation prize is even better... parang na ring jackpot.

I was headed for Ayala to meet Krishy and Mary Ann at Natio. It was so traffic on the way, since all roads lead to Ayala Center today for their BIG ANNIVERSARY MIDNIGHT SALE. Hope you peeps knew about or else you just missed out on those fat discounts.

Anyway, when I met Kris and Ann near Natio, I met even more people there. There's Joy, DonDon - Kris' wuvyduvy...hehehe and Rouselle, who is Leslie's BF (Best Friend) hehehe... We went around looking for sandals for Kris and then through our adventurous travels, we reached Starbucks. I have Starbucks to thank for the very informative and entertaining talk over a hot cup of Peppermint Mocha. I feel I've grown a year older and more mature listening to the younger people there... hehe. Sometimes if you give others the chance to speak their mind and if you really listen to them intently, you'd learn so much. That's why we're given 2 ears and only one mouth. The talk over hot java was already getting spicier, but due to the ongoing sale, I had to be pulled out of Starbucks by my mom for a second opinion on the shoe my brother wanted to buy. When I reached Rustan's to look at the shoe, MY GOD! Those can't pass for shoes! It's either I'm too choosy or my taste for things just can't be passed on to others. Maybe BOTH... Arghhhh! There goes the cynic in me. I was able to buy only 2 things because of my being so chooooosyyyyy! I bought a red shirt from Bossini and a pair of workout gloves from Nike Park. That was all.

After the shopping, my feet hurt a lot from walking from store to store trying to look for the "finer things in life"... this is what I have to pay for being so... hwag na lang. But still, the effort pays off, because in the end I definitely get the style/design that I really want. So I went back to our store at 6 to help. Because of the sale, our store and the other restaurants were full. The diners kept coming in. As one table is cleared, another group comes in to have thier orders taken. It was only at 10:00 that we were able to eat... whew! We even ran out of chickens, so I had to turn our Spacewagon into a Ferrari F1 and drive from the mall to our main kitchen just to get extra 15 chickens more. All in a day's work. It's the least I could do to somehow pay for the things I just bought from the sale.

After having my late dinner, I made apas to Metro Cafe (where I used to frequent 2 years ago to enjoy their panini sandwiches... love them... especially how the cheese melts with the tuna). Leslie, Roselle and Diane were there hanging out to "analyze" certain stuff. I just gave my analysis, but I guess there's someone else I know who could do better than I did. You'll see who I mean once Leslie posts the argument either by mail, zonkboard or by posting it in her site.

Now I'm home blogging all this and somehow I realized that I wasn't totally myself today. The temperature over my World of Ice seemed to be warmer than usual. Maybe the sun rose too early and melted some glaciers or maybe I just unconsciously let down my guard defenses for a while. As the night drew the day to a close, I now realize and I admit with all honesty that there was a certain point today that fire threatened my Frozen Chemistry, but it was just a threat... To recognize that it was just a threat, it only took me to ask one very simple question... and the answer spelled the difference. Simple chemistry really... to thaw something back to its original state takes time. If you thaw frozen red meat by putting it in hot water, it will cook and turn to lightbrown. I never thawed too quickly, so I'm now back to the freezer and now frozen.

Is it chilly cold, or is it just me? As I took a hot shower a few minutes ago, I was thinking: Nowadays, I always try to find a reason to see the world like I used too... so much fire - this human thing called emotion. Do I need a reason to venture into something new? Maybe not. 'Coz I've come to that point where I'm happy & contented... I just am. It's a state where "It couldn't get any better than this." I'm happy now and I can't find any good reason to find more of it. I could say that I've been provided for and given what any guy of my age could possibly have. Perhaps there could be some wonderful thing missing, but to have it I might lose everything else I've been given. It's temporary bliss only a fool would succumb to. It breaks all rules of logic and reason only humans are capable of, be it man or woman. Many have taken the minor leap. Some found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, while some just found themselves digging their own graves. As for me, I still won't take that leap without knowing what's below... YOU COWARD... Well, I'd rather be called a coward than a FOOL. It all boils down to what a friend of mine once said, "SIGURISTA!" Hehehe...

Try to put sense in what I just blabbered. I don't think I made any sense. Somebody please do me a favor and put some sense in this coconut stuck over my neck.

I learned so much yesterday. Thanks to Ma'am Bandalan, I understood well how flip-flops function. When the topic was taught to me last year by Ma'am Go, I got so irritated 'coz no matter how she discussed, I just can't get what she was blabbering about... and since I didn't understand that topic, I just had to make a simple project that didn't integrate flip-flops in it. Perhaps now, I can make those really nice projects.

I had a class with Sir Burce today. He's strict, but I guess he's one teacher I will get to like and appreciate 'coz he really makes easy things hard, so it kinda challenges me to really study and learn more. I guess, this will be one challenging and oh-so-fun semester after all. Oh, and he wants us to put aethetics in our project... hehe. I'm planning to pass a prototype of an "All Glass Elevator"... cool wouldn't it be. And Sir will be giving bonus points to us for participating in school projects and events... hmmm... I should hold more events then as the Council's president... hehehe. I'm so EVIL.

My cough is still on, but it's getting better now. I went to see Dr. Lim last night and he prescribed me this antibiotic... Zithromax(Azithromycin). I am to take 3 tablets only, but each tablet costs 200 pesos! Ouch! Magastos talaga ang magkasakit, kaya bawal magkasakit.

My colds are still eating me up... hehehe. I'm taking the strongest medications already and still I'm coughing like a machine gun. This afternoon, I tried to have a massage... my first ever. I resorted to it 'coz perhaps it could help my present condition. True enough, the massuse told me that I have so many "lisay" which could have been the cause of the discomfort. For the whole time that I was having the massage, I didn't cough even once... Amazing!... but afterwards... cough cough cough... here we go again.

I have a birthday party to attend tonight, but I had to decline our "Shobe", since I would need rest and even if I went, I'd just be disturbing the people there and perhaps give them the virus too, so hwag na lang. I just greeted her over the phone and chipped in the payment for our group's gift.

As for my academics, my mind went blank when Sir Barangan was discussing this afternoon. He just speaks too fast... I'll have to download his slides any moment now so I could try to decipher what he was talking about. I hope he slows down a bit, 'coz my brain is no Pentium 4... much more an Athlon AMD.

Well, I'm a bit happier today to have Sir Maderazo as my networking instructor... I'm so proud of his network knowhow, especially how he's so knowledgable with the entire ARIS System and the CEAC laboratories. We're gonna start next week and he gave us a list of equipment and materials to buy... so I'll be shopping for computer hardware this weekend.

Sir Walton Lacorte is now my ECE 26 teacher. Our class is an all ECE class, except for me. And he noticed that I was CompE just by looking at me. He said �CompE ka diba?� I don�t know why he knows... scary! I didn�t know him by face till someone told me that he�s Sir Walton Lacorte. He speaks so softly for a teacher� I could barely hear him and I�m already seated at the frontmost seat. I should plug him to an amplifier� hehehe. Joke only� pero you know what... He said he will soon be teaching us about Bluetooth technology nearing the end of the sem... COOL! Sounds so techy-nice, but we'll see if he could reach that topic in time and if he REALLY knows the topic. I'll be the judge of that. Hehehe... I've evolved into a cynic person. Wasn't like that before, but it turns out, I'm having much fun with it. *zing!

I don�t feel so well today. My flu is acting up again and I was in a hurry to go to school that I forgot my inhaler� darn. I was practically breathing through my mouth the whole day due to my stuffy nose� and the weather just won�t cooperate� and the cold CEAC laboratory air aggravated my condition. I didn�t talk much to people today, since they won�t be able to understand what I�m saying. It�s like talking in French� using nasal tones.

I guess a sickly condition transcends forth a not so impressive performance. Shame on me today! Sir Barangan gave us a programming bonus problem on Assembly language worth 25 points in our advanced assembly class. I only got 18 because I was the 19th to pass. 25 points to the first two and then he made some bracket system for the rest and I got a mediocre 18 by placing 19th. And I gpassed the 19th � and to think I had to ask help from my seatmate who finished 3rd. Shame on me really. I got a flat one in my previous basic assembly language subject which I took a year ago� (advantage for the rest, since they took it just last semester). Imagine, I totally forgot how to print characters on the screen using interrupt 21 service 09h. Geez� I feel so bad� so guilty that I got a piso and I couldn�t even print my name on the screen. Sheesh� I just wonder, by the time I graduate, would I forget everything that I learned� Signs of old age AGAIN!

Zonkboard got cut off. I'm renewing it now... here it is... Test.

This afternoon, I watched The Matrix: Revolutions. It was a nice movie. Still the same "camera-spin and delay" visual effects. As to the story, not much content. The characters still utter those philosophical, non-sensical lines that make you go, "What the... are they talking about?" I liked the movie, but not as much as "My First Romance"... hehehe... maybe because I'm down with a heavy cough and the cold cinema air just aggravates my condition. Anyway, I just came from Cafe Georg to have dinner with family. I will be sleeping after I blog this, since there will be a sale at Rustan's tomorrow for all FSP (Frequent Shoppers Plus) customers. We chose and reserved some items already, so we'll have to wake up early tomorrow to beat the long queues for payment and also to be in time for Msgr. Dakay's 11:00 mass at CCSC.

I was of some use today. My morning class teachers didn't show up, so Walter and I decided to go to SM to kill time and perhaps have lunch there. So we rode on his car headed for SM. While riding on the front seat, I heard some thuds coming from the hood. I asked Walter about it and he said he needed to have it checked at the car shop, since it's been that noisy for weeks now. Car-savvy that I am, I tried to listen closely and I noticed that the sound always came after a hump. So it's either a suspension problem or the tire was just loose. When we reached SM, it was still 9:30 and the mall would still be open in 30 minutes time yet. So we figured out that we could get some free tanning if we tinkered on the problem. Sun rays at that time were still considered rich in Vitamin D... hehehe.

Suspension problems can't be handled on the road. They always need to be fixed in a car shop, so I just presumed that it had something to do with the tire being loose, since the hub caps were already missing. I took some tools at the trunk and tried to tighten the bolts of the wheel by stepping on the lever... hehe. Easier that way than turning it with bare hands. True enough the bolts were not that tight. We took the car for a spin in the empty parking lot and guess what.. It was a smooth quiet ride... ahhhh. We finished just in time for mall opening. We went to the Foodcourt to grab some snacks and then played Generals at Nettopia while waiting for Raine. Three of us bought lunch at McDo (take-out, 'coz Walter still had a class at 12.) We said our goodbyes to Raine who went back to Diliman just this afternoon. Take care.

In the afternoon, I had my first class for this week. It was our Java class under Sir Barangan. He discusses really fast, but you could tell that he knows a lot. The terms he used were all jargon to me. I was practically listening to him with a blank face. Hehe... I hope that after this course, I'd understand all those terms like... Java Runtime Environment and all those stuff still alien to me.

No class again today. My classes are in the afternoon and thanks to the pro-Davide rally at Fuente, classes were suspended... wheee! I spent the afternoon with my friends Joevic and Randyl playing Generals... hehehe. I got hooked to this game... temporarily hooked only 'coz classes will start next week and with my current academic load, I don't think I'll have enough time to even breathe... hehehe. 'Twas a good thing that I got to transfer to Sir Barangan's Java class instead of Ma'am Bandalan's... whew. The department made a mistake in my sked 'coz I'm supposed to be in the pilot class, so my major subjects should be handled by Sir Barangan. Hehehe... what a relief. It's definitely one subject off from the possibility of being under a terror teacher. Just 3 more to go... hehehe

It never changes... Even with the new enrolment system, classes still don't start as they ought to. Hehehe... yeah, yeah... I'm just naning that's all.

Well, I saw the loading of our teachers and guess who's my teacher for Java... Ma'am Bandalan.... pray for me. Wanted to transfer to Sir Barangan's class, but it was already full... hmph...

Finally I got to watch "My First Romance" since there were no classes for today. Here's my review of the movie:

It offers nothing new in terms of story, using old clich�s for storylines. One thing has to be said for the movie though, it is entertaining, if in a shallow kind of way. It is SWEET, even nauseously sweet, though the level of romance is high school-ish. If you're dating a 16 year old, or a person with that maturity level, watch this.

What a "zingy" review... but that's the reality of it.

The first part entitled "One Love" portrayed the denial phase of 2 M.U.s They've known each other for long, but sad to say they knew each other not in a good way. They hated each other for something that happened in the past. They just didn't get the chance to explain their sides, that's why the argument blew out of proportions. And now that they've talked it out through the "bridging" efforts of Ate Glow, they became closer and eventually became an item. It was really shallow and the courting style was... baduy. Torpe style really. Takes one to know one.... hehehe... Laff on. But on the brighter side, at least the guy was able to gather enough courage to admit his feelings. Hmmm... nothing works better when placed under pressure. I didn't like the first part much because the seriousness of the conversations are often meddled by the pakapin shots of Ate Glow's face and the way she sounds like our president Ate Glo. lolz.

The second part entitled "Two Hearts" was a story of more substance, but not really something new. But I liked it more than part one... maybe because it was a more complicated story... more intricate... more struggle! I saw that the struggle of the male character, Enzo, was something I couldn't really imagine happening to me. I'd place myself in his shoes, and I could say that I'd be dumfounded. I really won't know what to say or do. It's one of those circumstances that are beyond your control. It's more like "I can't do anything but wait for the girl to feel something for me... and wait for her to be ready... and wait for her to clear her past."... get the picture? Well, I won't spill the story 'coz some of you may want to watch it.

And I encourage you to watch it. Not because of the plot of the story, not because of the actors & actresses, and definitely not because I say so. I'd encourage you to watch it so you'd get to see the different sides of the coin. It's a happy ending, but sometimes it would be nice to know how we get there. The end may be the same, but what's important is how we reached it - the JOURNEY. And if we think that Filipino movies are not nice to watch... well, the cinematography may not be that nice, but hey the content is "Philippine-setting" And no matter how absurd it may seem with the so many twists in the story, it COULD happen to us.

Yes it is a pinoy movie. Yes, it a "pang-kilig" movie... but watch it and at you'll get out of the movie house feeling different... it's a sensation you can't get out of watching Matrix. Yes, this movie is shallow. I hope that when you watch it... that is if ever you'll watch it... your analysis won't be shallow. Try to enjoy the movie and you'll realize that it can have an effect on you. It tells so much of peer pressure, how to settle differences, how an extremely proud person can be humble, how differences in financial status can be overcome, how to let go of the past and move on in the REAL world, how to fight perseveringly, and most of all not to judge people by how they look or what people say of them. Sometimes the best way to know someone and be close to them is really simple... JUST BE WITH THEM. Spend time.

One thing I learned in the movie was when John Pratts told Heart Evangelista in the baseball field bleachers of what his dad had to say. His dad once told him that each one of us has to face a problem of some sort. There are many more difficult problems in this world than problems on love, relationship and friendship. True... to some of us, that may be a problem, but others may find having shelter and food on the table more problematic. But what really caught my attention was when John Pratts went home with a heavy heart after being "rejected" by Heart Evangelista. His family was having dinner when he arrived home. His parents invited him to have dinner with them, but he said "Mamaya na lang... May problema kasi". The mom asked what the problem was and he said "Ay, baka mababaw lang ang tingin nyo sa akin sa problema ko itong pag-ibig." And then the mom stopped eating, stood up and talked to her son on the sofa and so did the dad. And they told him, "Hindi mababaw ang problema sa pag-ibig... pag-ibig man ito sa isang tao, isang hayop o sa isang bagay"... How nice. Love's never a shallow thing and problems about it are not shallow. It takes so much for a person to like a person, a pet or a nice expensive shoe displayed in a signature shop. It takes a lot for people to show affection. It takes a lot for people to give attention. It takes a lot for people to hold on to a dream they desperately want for themselves. To me, that scene best describes what being human is, that is to be there for someone - to listen, to comfort, to help.

--+--!!!Belated Happy Birthday to my Di-chim!!!--+--

Finally I can blog! I was so bored stiff here at home for the whole weekend. Our ISP had problems with the server starting Friday and since they held no office for the weekend, I couldn't connect to the internet. I just gave them a call a while ago and they asked me to make some changes in the settings... 'twas so easy making the changes with WinXP. Thank God my internet connection is back. I tried to entertain myself with PC games for the past few days... and well, they just gave me temporary bliss.

School opens today... but maybe formally still next Monday. I hope our teachers hold classes on time, so I could get adjusted with the load earlier... so that I could also more or less get an estimate as to how I should budget my time for extra-curricular stuff this semester. So till then, keep posted.