Biglang nag-brownout twice, so I had to retype this blog � THRICE� hahahay!

I�m at TAP-TC here in school. I was going to just make-silip into my site and the sites of my fellow bloggers when biglang bumagsak ang ulan� and a flooded road lies between me and the Eng�g building� so I went back to the caf� in school and surfed the net na lang. I haven�t posted blogs from TAP for a rather long time, so I decided to post blog here.

I have been a busy, but smiling bee for the past few days and that scares me. When I�m on my high�s I start to wonder whether meron bang kapalit ang lahat na ito, so I�ll share some thoughts that are behind those smiles, para pambawi. Pasensya na po sa Co�o Tagalog for those na nahihirapan o ayaw talagang magbasa ng Tagalog. I just came from bloghopping to a �Kris Aquino� site in Maia�s links. I sometimes like to use Tagalog kasi there are just some terms or emotions na di kayang mapadama in English� as with �Bakit ngayon ka lang...� and others.

Anyway, there�s a problem� not much a problem really, pero it keeps my mind running at times when I have ran out of things to think about or things to do. Mahirap kasi itong problema lalo nang I don�t have a dad anymore (my mom�s the father figure sa family, pero iba talaga kapag dad mo talaga)� and my lalake friends are� kagaya ko rin� clueless, SMB (Style Mo baduy� tama ba Mangks�), torpedo at iba pa. One big team kami of mga inutil. hehehe� saun na lang,

Sige� sulong!

Ito kasi nangyari. Kung sinubaybayan niyo mga posts ko for the past few days, you�d recall that I was mentioning something like 3 became 4 then now it�s down to 2. Easier to choose na lang sana, pero ang hirap pa rin. Kahit may mapili ako sakaling isa, mahirap pa rin. Paano na �to tol? The 4 narrowed down to 2 na lang kasi I realized that it�s better to focus on the ones you like na sakali lang� kunyari lang� may pagtingin rin sa �yo. It�s not assuming naman, pero there are hints� but still I could be wrong. Sa panahon ngayon, di na uso ang mga �martyr�� pasakit lang yan sa puso. Matay ta sayo ana. Hehehe�

So now, I invited one of the 2 to our victory party last Saturday. My Uncle was nice enough to give me extra tickets and since my bro and mom wanted to go somewhere else, the tickets were mine to keep� in the hope that meron gustong sasama sa akin. So I invited� ahem� and 2 of her friends. We enjoyed the party and during sometime in the party, kinulit ako ng mga friends nya as to sino daw crush ko� Pinilit nila talaga ang �M�� the name Ivy then became �Mivy�� gets� hahaha! Trying hard talaga. They got curious �coz Gary told them letter �M� daw nagsimula pangalan niya. Tama na man si Gary, pero that WAS history. �M� was #1, pero wala na yan sa picture� exit stage left. I told them hindi �M� pero ayaw talaga nilang maniwala. Grabe ka Gary! Ang lakas ng word mo sa kanila� ayaw tuloy maniwala sa akin ang mga iyon� ehehehe. Anyway, while they were making biro, THE girl who was seated beside me was all quiet� was just smiling� Concerned ako when kinausap ko siya� I asked her who she think is my crush� then she named a few names that started with �M� pa rin na common friends namin. I noticed that when she mentioned the names, parang walang malay� more like just for compliance� sake. I could be wrong again�as always na lang, but I felt it� di naman ako ganun ka manhid� pero malapit na! Kokonti na lang ang kulang, maging true blue Ice King na talaga ang makikita ninyo� aber.

After the party, we went down to the Waterfront lobby to wait for her sundo, then kinulit na rin nila ako tuloy. I never mentioned the name kasi� that�s my problem. Di ako sure. Kahit na sa dalawa, di ako sure kung kaya ko. Even if I chose one, still there�s a possibility na mahulog na lamang sa wala. Sayang ang opportunity, but I don�t dive to opportunities where I don�t know what I�m getting myself into. Because I know that my little knowledge about all this will end up with someone getting hurt� if it�s not me, then someone�s gonna be crying� and one weakness of mine is to see a person cry. That�s one sight that weakens me and puts my convictions to the test. The thought of it strikes me hard that I might not be that capable of handling a relationship. Besides, I consider myself young pa. I don�t want to hurt anyone by my being inutil in matters such as these. If there�s a course on this, I�d be the first to enroll�. Hahaha! Seriously, I�m only good at making advice, but when the situation comes to me, I usually avoid or excuse myself from it.

My puzzle - I don�t think it�s right to court someone you like without really knowing what comes after the initial �bombing strike�. Kahit gaano mo pang gusto ang tao, there�s always this force that will make you reconsider. I never like it when other people, especially friends put pressure, because most of the time, I just run away and never come back. Truly, it�s not good to like someone that much. Because when you do, you start to care so much for their welfare such that you tend to stop liking them out of fear that what you�re doing could hurt them somehow. Is there such a term in the dictionary for that feeling? One more thing � Someone once said to me that it�s nice to get close to someone whose family knows and likes you and both are trusting and comfortable with each other. How nice� I really like that to happen. There�s really a big difference if nilalait ka kaysa if they really consider you as family. Honestly, it�s the case� funny how small this world can be. Her dad knows me very well because of my high school and the church I used to go before. Her mom is my mom�s classmate� and we� well, we�ve been friends since we were classmates in ReEd10, my first year here in USC when I transferred back to Cebu. My problem is, the tie is strong, YES, that�s what I�m afraid of. 3 ties and if something goes wrong, it would be such a shame to waste it all just by strengthening one of the ties.

The other girl naman is very sweet. Pretty too� and has a very charming smile that could launch a million ships� hehehe. Got to know her just 2 weeks pa. She�s nice, but still new pa man gud, so I can�t really make much out of it, but we�re friends. They both have very pleasing personalities, pero� we can�t be too sure pud.

Hahay! Ahmbot na lang� I�d like to use Leslie�s term for this� �Hahay! Ahmbot na lang sa akong lubot!� hahahaha! Why didn�t God put special coded magnets on us and our would-be�s so that when we meet, we get drawn together and that�s it. Solved. Hahaha! That would be silly and stupid! See how nuts this head of mine has become. Anyway, if you peeps have any thoughts to enlighten our consciousness, please, by all means, flood my tagboard for all I care and play guidance counselor.

That�s all for now, before any weird ideas come out of this coconut.

Yesterday, I attended our first formal Robotics Club meeting. We learned a lot from Doc Maja's lecture... basic robotics, gear ratio vs speed and torque. We were also taught how to design the base of a wheeled robot... center of gravity principles, moment computation and friction. We learned a lot from just 2 hours of lecture. We'll start making our project next week. After the short meeting, it was time for my class with SIr Delante. He just wrote scribbles on the board... basic equations and mathematics... learned really nothing since it was purely fraction manipulation... a 4th grader could solve those equations.

I then had lunch with Van, Fame and Les at Green Derby. I then attended a 4 hour meeting at the AVR to deliberate which agency we will be awarding the contract for our educational tour this summer. We awarded it to Executive Express... and the total package is 12,699 for a 7day/6night stay in Manila. 4 nights at the Cenutry Park Sheraton in Malate and 2 nights in Baguio. We'll be touring 10 companies in Luzon, Enchanted Kingdom, Subic and Tagaytay sidetrips. Boat in plane out. All meals are buffet. The package price is OK, but hopefully we could lower it... times are hard and not everyone could afford it. Hopefully, our entire batch would be able to participate. It's a rare opportunity to get to tour with your batchmates.

Last night, I attended the victory party of the Jaycees at Club Waterfront. The food was great with the lechon. The disco was also nice. Obsession was the name of the band that entertained us. I was with 3 of my friends from the council and there were other friendly faces there. Thanks.

As of this moment, my mind is pressured with design concepts. I'm planning to change the look and theme of this site. The travel agency also put up a tshirt design contest for the tour. Whoever could design the best shirt for the tour gets a 3,000 peso slash off the package price. Instead of paying 12,699, the winner will just be shouldering 9,699. Kewl! So after this I'll be busy designing... Once again Google and Adobe Photoshop will be my best friends. Hehehe... and by the way instead of 4 choices, I narrowed it down back to 2, but this time the 2 choices na pagpipilian are not the same as before. At least, 2 is easier to decide than 4. lol!

--+--!!!Happy Birthday Mary Ann!!!--+--

Congratulations to Marie Tiu for winning tonight's Miss IE Pageant!

Techniques tested with 2 pageants already are:
a.) Dress the right attire. If casual wear, then don't wear a formal dress. Wear something comfy and CASUAL!
b.) In evening gown competition, walk slowly, gracefully and give that "floating in mid-air appearance.
c.) In Q&A portion, think first before saying something. It's better to take time thinking than just blabbing merry go round.
d.) Speak of how you feel. Whether it's about the heat or the tightness of the dress or how you would feel given a situation. After saying how you'd really feel, then propose the solution to the problem.
e.) Smile... a lot.

This and the support of many people have molded two pageant champions in less than a week's time. One for Miss TC and the other Miss IE. Hope I could say the same for the other pageants to come. Just some helpful tips to all the beauties out there who have the intention of joining such pageants.... hahahaha!

After the Mr. & Ms. IE Pageant, we had a very late dinner (10PM) at Bay Grille. Mary Ann made bangka to all of us, 'coz it's her birthday. It was fun joining once again the parties of my long lost barkada. Another victory party awaits us weeks from now. Times do change, people do too, but sometimes friendship brings us back once more. Forgive yes, but forget hard to do, but there are always ways to get about it. Wonderful night and... I have something very interesting for Maia... wait till Monday for it.

All Hands On Deck, Right Full Rudder, Course Change to Bearing 2990, Maximum Speed
We only had a half day's worth of classes today 'coz our teachers had an assembly of some sort for the afternoon. So I took time off at the canteen. Finally after so many months of not visiting my once favorite pad, I got to sit and talk at the TC Eng'g Canteen. Thanks to that long but very informative and inspiring talk from Maia, the captain of my ship has received direct orders to change course. I feel more free and better now knowing that I need not hope on something in the future if it really wasn't there in the first place. It's a lost chance, but I'm sure there's a bigger treasure to haul. Maraming na pandol... hehehe.

Revelation of My Psyche
Embedded in an afternoon of talk filled with shared insights from professors of the 3rd year CompE studes, I got almost the biggest revelation of my psyche... Finally I got answers to my ever pressing questions and inquiries about human behavior... that is MY own behavior. I really learned a lot as to why I do certain things this way or that way and why I react to situations in this or that manner. It's true that people who have a lot up there are poor when it comes to matters of the heart. I have this very (minus) practice/procedure of doing "something"... tsk tsk tsk. Jed first noticed this about me and then I realized... "Oo nga noh?" So I begin to wonder why is it that when I make my "moves"... my so called "moves"... I am not consistent. Sweet this time of the day, thoughtful the next hour and then in 30 minutes time, I could just be the biggest snob in the world. Why is that? I finally know why. It's a trend that is predominant with people like me. With time, I could correct this, but seeing myself do it... I just wanna run away and cover my face in shame... It's like I'm so selfish that I'm nice only when I feel like it... and when I get that "heaven" feeling, I do nothing and the world is suddenly nothing to me and I give the CHILL.

Aside from that, I also noticed that somehow my style is same as RTP's. Always the sigurista style. I always promote the immortal quote from Joe Black, "If you haven't tried you haven't lived."... but in my actions, I am the ever "just to be safe" sigurista person. Unless I know that the opposite side has some liking towards me, I never give much of myself. Pride?... could be, but today the answer has finally arrived. It's because people like me are used to being on top of any situation such that if something is not familiar to us, we tend to avoid it and instead work another path to get what we want. Since to be on top of something, several methods must have been already fool-proof and time tested. What's wrong with this is that people like me think that trying something new and attempting to experience the unknown would just bring negative results and therefore threaten our being "on top". So what happens is that if something hasn't been tested yet or there's no definite proof yet, we don't take the plunge. Mai, if I didn't get your theory right, please post it in your site, so I can read it over and over again to sink it in this coconut head of mine... others may want to hear it too... hehehe.

Fun Day at the Mall

Went to the mall as early as 11AM. Watched the store for a while and we were off for lunch at City Sports. Met Blanche at the carpark while we were on our way out. After lunch, I took a 30 minute rest watching MTB at the TV area of the Club... laughed my heart out with the "Ocho Ocho!"... I don't know how that's done, but the people doing it look funny... I'm sure many will be acting it out soon. Hahaha! Went to the gym afterwards to pump iron. Afterwards, I walked to Ayala as my cooling routine. As I entered the mall through the park entrance, I saw some friendly faces performing a dance number at the Activity Center. They were USC's contingent to a certain dance competition. The contingent was composed of our Engineering Pop Jazz dancers mixed with some Main people...Sherilyn was there among the pop jazz dancers. CIT won, but I believe the USC participants were still winners for showcasing their talent for dance.

I then shopped for the gift I mentioned earlier. Thanks peeps for the tags, but I just got to read them tonight... tsk tsk tsk. I couldn't find anything pink that's nice to give. So as I was window shopping, I saw this nice girlie shirt at ESPRIT. It looked like old stock, so I went across to Bossini and found a nicer tee she'll really love, so I bought it. The store had a nice RED gift box, so I bought it too. I forgot to buy a gift tag at National, so I'll just have to design a nice card in my PC.

That sure was a quick buy, so I dropped the gift item in the car at the basement and went to Timezone. I saw this new car-driving machine and took it for a spin... nice seats and most of all I liked the F1 type gear shifts, brake and accelerator pedals. I was driving a Mitsubishi Evo VI... kewl... wished it were the real thing...

Met up with my mom for snacks at Red Ribbon, then I accompanied her to Fashion Avenue. We reached this nice area inside where they have a collection of bridal items and services... from invitations to cakes to rings and flowers... they had it all. I was particularly interested with the rings... somehow I was magnetized to them... or is it that I just have this affinity towards silver and gold, the Leo that I am. I was looking at the rings... then suddenly the attendant came near and did some sales talk. Goodness! Do I look really that old to be mistaken as someone who's about to get married? So I said, "I'm just taking a look at how the wedding rings nowadays look like". The attendant then said, "Oh, I see. Sir, here's a nice one. You could give this to your girlfriend."... and before I could correct her on that, she said "Para engagement ni sir, par dili na ma-angkon sa uban imo GF." Hahaha! I had a good laugh there... Actually, it's not the ring that determines whether a fiancee will eventually become the bride. So many things can happen along the way... take for example J.Lo and Ben Af. Anyway, I visited the other shops there. The booth that featured photographing services got me to thinking. It's good to hire a good photographer on your wedding day. The moment comes only once a lifetime (and that's how it's supposed to be) and during that special day, the newlyweds would be too busy to take snapshots of their happiest moment. So it's very important that they hire a hardworking and creative photographer. As I reached the end of that area, I could see the towering insignia of Starbucks Coffee outside. Wow! Starbucks is finally here. I really miss their fruit teas and that flavored soda in a bottle (forgot the name). Not much their coffee, since I like Beanhoppers the best. Opening will be October 1st (tentative).

THE BUZZ!

Everywhere I go, people are talking about Kris Aquino and Joey Marquez. Poor girl really... she's one of those who are really unlucky to have a sad love life. After what Joey did to her, she still confesed to media that she still loves Joey. Is that love? Love him for what?!!! Blinded by love? I don't think so. I pity her disposition, but sometimes I think she's either too emotional/drama or she's just downright stupid. I prefer the latter. No pun intended. Despite that, I really sympathize with her. Whatever she did nor did not do, it gives Joey absolutely no right to point a gun at her, much more cock it. Well, I hope she soon finds peace in her already very controversial and troubled life.

Oh... and here's something I left out in my last post. Just recalled that I missed out on something important.

We were dismissed early from our 7:30PM class. I passed by the AVR to check what was happening there with the lights on so late in the evening.

As I opened the door, I saw one friend of mine sitting in one of the seats there. I didn't know she will be one of the candidates for this Friday's Mr. & Ms. IE Pageant. I wanted to just make silip and pretend not to see her. But somehow I realized that she was all by herself. She looked tired and bored. I then gave a thought about what happened in the past between me and the barkada I used to hang out with in the canteen.

Somehow at that moment, I realized that friends will always be friends and no matter what breaks the bond, somehow our hearts get pulled together one way or the other. I was able to give support to May Joy, who I knew for just 3 days, so there's no reason for me not to support this friend whom I've known and spent time with for over a year. So I went in, said "Hi!" and to my surprise she told me how happy she was to see me. I expected a cold treatment, but I was wrong. She talked to me in the way we used to talk... so open, so unabridged and without reservation. She talked about her rehearsals and how nervous she is for this pageant and many more. We talked for a few minutes, then 2 of her friends arrived. They were surprised to find me there and so asked how I was since they haven't seen me in a long time. Kept touch for a few minutes and I had to leave since the car's waiting for me outside.

When I was in the car, I felt good that such opportunities have come for me to mend a few broken links in my past. Now, it's just the BIG link that I have to really weld back, whcih is really very difficult since she barely talks. One step at a time I guess. Little strokes fell great oaks.

Now as I blog myself to sleep. I realize one thing... that life is not about "I", "ME", "MY". It's all about how many ties we make, how many people we meet and help along the way, and how many moments of happiness we cherish. Good night everyone.

I just found a new reason to like going to school... hahaha! Every schoolday now has its perks. It was a happy day for me. Good thing it did not rain. Instead the school went brownout. Hahaha! That's definitely a lot lot better than the rain syndrome... hehe. I'm a bit confused right now. Instead of 3, I now have 4! This is fun! I remember Peter telling me about this before and at that time I had no idea whatsoever how fun it could be, not till now.

Just got home and found a new place to have midnight snack... "Burger Boy". It's a new store near Playhouse here near our village. It's owned by the same owners of East, West. They serve the ever-famous Pasta Aligue. Their burgers are mouthwatering like their Bacon Cheese Mushroom burger, which I'm enjoying now. Not as tasty as that served at Wendy's (too bad it's no longer here in Cebu), but at least it's close enough to the real thing. They have ice cream sundae's too, so there's no need to stock ice creams on the fridge. Whee! One good vice I share with my mom nowadays is splurging on FOOD!

Tomorrow will be one day spent looking for a gift for a good friend of mine. Birthday's gonna be this Friday. She likes stuffed toys, but I gave one already last Christmas, so sana maiba na naman, but not so expensive 'coz I'm not working yet... bawas sa allowance lang. Something pink perhaps for a simple girlie girl, 'coz she usually sports that color. Ey peeps, got any ideas? Shop with me here. Thanks!

Just had lunch... Tagala's Chicken and a Mr. Softy cone. Still a few minutes to my next class, so I decided to bloghop and check on Melvs's site as he requested. It looks OK here sa TAP, dunno about the display in your house computer.

Bloghopped to some sites I haven't visited for a while... tsk tsk tsk. I visited she^'s site. I had fun reading her AC and BC definitions. Hahaha! Most of all I enjoyed her comments about weddings and bachelor parties. Hahaha! It's true that parties like that are wild, but I'm not quite sure whether we Filipinos do the same. I wouldn't know 'coz I haven't been to one and neither am I getting married yet. The ball and chain's still very far. I still consider Bachelorville the greenest pasture.

I liked her thoughts about relationships and what the 4 letter word really means. It's very true, but it was good that she pointed out what's really happening and what's real. How I wish it were ideal, so perfect and how it really should be, but sad to say life is all about facing realities and accepting how things really ARE. It was nice to know that some people like she^ still hang on to those definitions. Very rare nowadays.

I, for myself, am at a point of make or break. I'm confused whether to hang on to those beliefs she^ mentioned or to go with the flow. It's quite sayang to give up what's nice and what should be and still hope for what you really want, but sometimes life feels lonely when you're standing up for something that others no longer believe in. It becomes a challenge of wills. The choice then becomes a matter of survival. Going against the tide may strengthen the will and we may eventually get what we hoped for, but it can sometimes wash you off as well.

When faced with that choice, I usually turn a blind eye on it and I let it fall on deaf ears. I start focusing on something else. Instead of calling someone for a movie or a day-out at the mall, I just decide not to invite and just go to the gym to workout or watch a movie by myself. But I then think, how long could this pretending last? I know what I'm telling myself is just a lie to cover up all the frustration and disappointment. But sometimes, I just like to smile and laugh just to avoid the hurt and the pain. I call it momentary bliss, hoping that with "play pretend" I could somehow forget the past, wash the painful memories away, and let my future take its course with the least of worries. I guess its better that way. All I could do is hope that there are still people out there who STILL BELIEVE. Most I know have given up and became cold... their practicality makes points, but I consider it a major turn-off.

We won! May Joy won as Miss TC! Karl won 2nd place for Mr. TC! We are so proud of them. 2 days to prepare and we made winners out of them. I owe this a lot to the efforts of Brian, Ipay and Maia. Thanks a lot!

I'm so happy tonight! Our contestants won and I got to do last minute and pahabol coaching at the dressing room with #1 also coaching her Pharma contestant... hehehe... Smart ang answers sa ila contestants, pero mas smart jud ang among contestant. Hahaha! May Joy's answer to the final question really made the biggest blow. For those who are curious, this was the question: If your BF/GF invited you to their family dinner and it so happens your attire is exactly the same as the tablecloth, what would you do?... think think think... post me your answers on the tagboard peeps. Hahaha! just for fun lang.

Her very nice evening gown won her the evening gown competition award. The casual attire Ipay provided her won her the casual attire competition award. She was also chosen as Miss Photogenic. Kulang na lang sportswear award and she could have bagged all the awards. I'm so happy of how things went for her.

Just an observation, both the CompE and Pharma contestants had the same idea for sportswear (golf - men, tennis - women)... hmmm... and Mr. TC is Pharma, Miss TC is CompE, 1st runner up Mr. TC is Compe and 1st runner up Miss TC is Pharma... hahaha! Coincidence or mayo lang jud? I better stop analyzing this kay mu ulan nasad unya.

This morning, we had a council meeting to decide some matters regarding funds. I didn't get the vote on my proposal. It was OK, but I fear that my bringing up of the issue sort of decreased the morale / team spirit of the group. If I had known, I shouldn't have brought it up. I proposed something that would hopefully have a uniting effort between the council and the batch councils. This morning's meeting was proof enough that money can sometimes be a reason for division. Let it be and let go. This will once again be another challenge on my part. Michelle made yaw-yaw to me the other day about being the president of JPPhA. I told her that as president of my council, I too had a share of those frustrating moments, but somehow the challenge propels me to shrug off the problems and just focus on what is to be done. She raised again her point about my fighting spirit. Hahaha!.. I was impressed there. She remembered again for the 2nd time. Today was one of those low moments and I believe things will just fall in place soon.

I met up with a high school friend of mine after the meeting. We had lunch at Tagala's and kept touch for all the years we haven't seen each other. Time does fly by and I sometimes wonder how much I have done with the time given to me. I heard of news of some of my classmates before who are now so prosperous with their businesses like Jerwin See with his booming Bel Air and his Club Ultima. He quit school and went around the country to do some entrepreneurial jobs. Now he's self-sufficient and the time he spends on something earns him also something... a lot something that he could by cars and his own condo or house using the money he earns. He has networks that stretch to Mindanao, Luzon and even Taiwan. Ho hum... some people can be very lucky.

Reminds me of what my mom told me before, when we got into serious life talk. I was driving then and the red light at Starmart took eons to get to green, so I gathered some guts to talk to my mom about LIFE and school. Surprisingly, she told me of how she viewed life to be when she was studying in college and how life is NOW. As good as it gets, reality does bite! I was scared and dumfounded with what she told me. I was unaware of the traffic light. It already went green and the car behind had to honk the horn to snap me out of it. I drove silently from the corner all the way to the gate of the house. Life can sometimes be very cruel and unfair... That night I drew a tear on my pillow, knowing that I can't change what happened for my mom and perhaps when the same thing happens to me (which is very likely), I might be rendered helpless too. Life can be so unpredictable. They say that's the beauty of it, because if everything were so predictable, then there's no point living at all. I'm a bit convinced on that, but still life can be very harsh at times. Makes me really struggle to believe that there's really Someone up there.

When I went back to the TC campus to watch the rehearsals for tonight's pageant, I took some time to walk on the empty corridors of TC. Just me, the floor, the walls, the vacant rooms and the clouded sky. I said to myself, "Why am I spending my time here? What for?" Answer: Just for a nonsense piece of paper that tells employers that I have satisfactorily completed... blah blah blah. Forgive me peeps. There are just some days that I wanna lash out at this hope-forsaken world.

So I went back to the room where we had the rehearsals and Masi called to ask my help regarding a laptop not displaying on an LCD projector. So I went to the seminar area at Pharma and did some quick fix its. I thought the LCD projector was being difficult with me, but later I realized it was the laptop. So I did some configurations and in no time, the speaker was able to use it for his Powerpoint presentation. As I was fixing it, the speaker was talking about his past life... "Argh... spare me please", I said to myself with arrogance, sarcasm and all, knowing the disappointed mood I was in. Then the speaker, Adrian Ding, mentioned stuff about B-G relationships, so I asked Michelle what the seminar is all about pala and she said it was a Personality Enhancement Seminar. I raised a brow there... "oh...." So on I went with clicking the laptop here and there and then the speaker says, "You know girls, it's tough what you make us guys do?" I looked at Michelle, and when I looked, she was already looking at me. She then gave a very unusual smile (none of the smiles I've ever seen her wear before), which until now I'm clueless as to what it meant. I wanted to smile back, but I was such a speechless, motionless, incapacitated, handicapped and physically impaired moron that I couldn't even recall what my facial expression was. If only I could have held time there and figured out what she was thinking... hmm. My memory cam captured that very smile at that very moment... here's one for the memory banks. When I was done, I inched my way through the audience, since the room was so full of people. I was unaware that Michelle was following behind me and when I reached the exit door, I heard my name and when I looked back it was her... in her nice baby blue polo, dark blue jeans and that nice necklace she wears with her name "Michelle" engraved between two design ornaments. She thanked me in that very sincere "Thanks jud kaayo John, as in. Thank you." (verbatim) she always does, with her hands together... like how the Thais give their thank yous. "You're welcome", I said. Now I remember that. After that surreal moment, I was skipping all the way back to the Eng'g bldg. I was halfway there when it suddenly drizzled. Oh please... not again! Hahaha!

So now I'm home to get some props for tonight's pageant. By 4:30, mom will bring me back to school 'coz I'll be watching the pageant to support our 2 contestants. Hope they win! Till then, hope you have a colorful and blessed weekend.

I'll post some lyrics. I was at Ayala this afternoon, and I went home early 'coz I'm stuck with a terrible cough... effect of the weather I have influenced over the past few days, so no more of that. Have to sleep early for 2 exams tomorrow... and many more council work waiting for me to accomplish. Saw Melvs today at Ayala... hmmm... share the "fruits" of working in Ng Khai... Anyway, hope you peeps like this song.

Love of My Life
Jim Brickman

I am amazed
When I look at you
I see you smiling back at me
It�s like all my dreams come true.
I am afraid
If I lost you, girl
I�d fall from the cracks and lose my track
In this crazy lonely world.

Sometimes it�s so hard to believe
When the nights can be so wrong
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me going on.

You are the love of my life
And I�m so glad you found me.
You are the love of my life
Then you put your arms around me.
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally found something real.
My angel in the night,
You are my love;
Love of my life

Now here you are
With midnight close together.
You take my hand as our shadows dance
With moonlight on your skin.
I look in your eyes.
I�m lost inside your kiss.
I think if I�d never met you
About all the things I�d missed.

Sometimes it�s so hard to believe
When our love can be so strong
And faith gave me the strength
And kept me going on.

You are the love of my life
And I�m so glad you found me.
You are the love of my life
Then you put your arms around me.
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally found something real.
My angel in the night,
You are my love;
Love of my life

You are the love of my life
And I�m so glad you found me.
You are the love of my life
Baby, put your arms around me.
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally found something real.
My angel in the night,
You are my love.
My angel in the night,
You are my love;
Love of my
Life.

This morning, I was forced into a perky start. When I reached school, the concessionaires were late in setting up, their booths. They were supposed to set it up yesterday afternoon, and by lunch, KFC wasn't even ready to sell yet... Smile na lang...

Then, I had to rush around campus to look for a female CompE contestant for this Saturday's Mr. and Ms. TC participant. First, I got to talk to May Artiga. She was OK with the idea at first, but later refused due to her study load. Bam-bam (Miss USC Candidate) and May's friends tried to convince her, but she never gave in... I really tried my best, really. Now as I recall the statements I made, I sounded quite like someone who was courting her "sige na... sige na... please..." Oops, don't get me wrong here, I have no intentions. Mitch, she mentioned your name. "You can ask Mitch pa, busy kaayo mi." So after almost 30 minutes of trying to convince her, I gave up knowing that I just couldn't handle her will. Ayokong pilitin, kung ayaw talaga. As a consolation, May then referred me to another May... May Joy Arcilla, who after a 3 minute talk over my mobile finally agreed to be our representative for Saturday's tilt. Thank God she filled in the spot, else I'd really be in deep trouble by now. So finally, it's Carl Sabuga and May Joy Arcilla as our hopefully Mr. and Ms. TC. Good luck to them! The council will support them all the way!

I was like a wet chick after all that work. I was so drained... I could hardly make out what Sir Salva was blabbing about. My feet hurt from all the searching and my saliva dried up from all that convincing. BUT, the Lord is GOOD! Lunch was never so filling as before. I had 6 BBQs, 3 puso^ and a lemon-berry slush. But the main dish was finally served courtesy of Mercy "Masi". After lunch, I went back to the selling area and met Mercy. I am so indebted to her already, 'coz while we were talking she called #1 over and the 3 of us talked stuff for a while, then Mercy left us. I felt rather uneasy when Mercy left our company to buy some Tagala's chicken, but somehow I managed to talk spontaneously with #1. Finally, I could talk to her without the jitters! What a breakthrough for me! I'm so happy! And so in an hour, it rained! bwahahahaha...

After my 6:30 class, I attended the 1st rehaersal for the Mr. & Ms. TC candidates. I saw the candidates, and we have a very good chance of winning, so we'll give this our best. I made a list of the props and attires we need and went home to consult Maia. Thanks a lot Maia for your help. Things like these are really beyond me. Thanks a bunch!

Remaining so long in a "heaven" state can be hazardous. Yesterday was proof enough. When I went to school yesterday, I was wide awake by 7AM and I felt in the mood to greet people a warm good morning along the way. Went to class and was very participative. This was the good side.

The bad side was that when people talk to me, I don't listen that intently. My mind is like somewhere else, so I tend to miss out on some important info. In my English class, the letters we were to submit was to have letterheads. I was so absent minded and forgot to include one, so I had to rush to TAP Eng'g to have a sample scanned & printed. Their printer and scanner were out of order. I then went to VOT and tried scanning it there, but the scanner won't work. Talk about tough luck. I then went to TAP-Rx to scan and print it there. When I reached the mini cafe, I realized I left the sample at VOT office, so I had to run back and get it. Ran back again to TAP-RX to have it finally scanned and printed. I ran as fast as I could to my English class, 'coz I was more like 30 minutes late due to the hassle... only to find out that the letter can still be passed this Wednesday... Smile na lang...

It rained again last night here at home 'coz somebody texted to ask about something. I was already asleep then, so I replied only this morning. So today, my day's complete already by the time I woke up to check my phone.

Nice concert! Family (Mom and Bro) on the left, 2 friends with my hopefully FUTURE on the right, Jim up front and an evening sky up above, call it a wonderful evening.

Jim Brickman played the piano very well last night. From his song hits to a number of Sesame Street songs and Jim Henson classics, Jim wowed the crowd with his talent for the piano... and his humor. Backed up by the voice of Rachel Alejandro, the crowd loved the concert's finale, Valentine. As to what was after it, I won't write it 'coz things like that are sweetest when placed only in memory. All I can say is that the night was perfect. It's now 17 hours from then and now life goes back to reality.

Heya peeps! Done reading?... hehehe... Here's more, but short lang...

I just came home from Saturday class. I had lunch at the CompE Department office, since the faculty invited me to the blessing of the newly renovated office. Love the lechon! Busog na, masaya pa... read on to find out why...

At 1:30, we had a meeting for final instructions regarding our booths for next week's TC Fair. After the meeting, something happened and I just couldn't stop smiling. My jaw's starting to hurt, but my smile is still ear to ear. Hahay... so I decided to walk home, instead of calling home to be fetched. Along the way, I kept smiling still 'coz that something just can't get out of my head... surreal but nice... and when I'm at high spirits, everything else I see is positive and there's certainly a lot to smile and laugh about.

Take for instance, along the way home, I saw this little girl dancing to the beat of spageti. I'd usually roll my eyes at that song, but this time I laughed at the sight of it... 'twas more like bloopers in a movie. I also wanted to cross the busy street. but couldn't... and then suddenly, the road just cleared off. I didn't have to run crossing, instead I walked lightly as if strolling in a park, whistling to the tune of "Why do birds suddenly appear...". I don't know why that particular song entered my mind, but it just did. And then past Foodland, walking towards our village, there were a few beerhouses/carenderia that had karaoke machines. I just couldn't help but laugh at the "music" I heard. Karaoke anyone? And nearing the gate, a friend of mine, Choy Miranda, drove in his Vios and waved at me. It felt nice that someone who's got his eyes on the road even bothered to take a few seconds off it to greet a friend. How nice... I'm floating now, really... and with tonight's Jim Brickman concert, I don't know where I'll be... heaven?

Okay, I jsut finished my workload. Didn't seem much as I thought it was... it's all in the mind, I guess.

Before I comment on Karen's question, I'd like to say a few things before stories spread out of proportion... thanks to Mangkay... is that what people who just grew a year older do? hehehe... just kidding... PEACE. My life is so full of controversies already and I could say I've given up on clearing my name. I'm jinxed when it comes to letting people understand what I mean. They always don't get the point and they usually interpret things the other way. I'm sure by now, Adrian's subwoofer mouth must have spread it to the canteen people... God forbid... please.

Anyway, in fairness, party girl has the height and the figure to brag. Face value... ok lang... not so head-turning, sa bagay ok lang. But the pagka-arte... ummm... points reset to ZERO. For me, a fine young lady is one that blends in where she is put. Whether in a posh villa in the city or in a "payag" in the most sulok-sulok of provinces, if she's comfortable with the arrangement, then that's what I call a 100% woman! A practical person is rare, so why look for common ones. Difficult people have their own worlds, so why cross into theirs. Fashion... hmmm... a long gown and a suit may look attractive, but if worn in the beach... someone is bound to think something's wrong with that thing up there and vice versa. Fashion is all about being comfortable about what you wear. I used to sport long-sleeved polos when I was a freshmen at USC-TC, since I was used to wearing them in my long forgotten Manila days. As much as I want to look good and feel good, the place is just hot and people at TC as we know it are very practical and simple, so I adapted my wardrobe and I definitely felt better being able to blend in with my classmates. You make more friends in life when you put yourself at equal bearing with others. So there. As to people linking me to party girl, truth, no attraction whatsoever. She may be smart, talented, intelligent, speaks fluent English and the others ekeks, but something tells me that I'd rather have a future with someone else who's just perfectly imperfect. It's hard to keep high hopes and high expectations of people. As what someone once told me, "We're just saving ourselves from depression." Finally I found immortality in those words. Enough with perfection and imperfection... I know where it will lead to next.

Let's set the mood right first. While I'm typing this, I'm listening to 2 nice MP3 songs I downloaded after listening to them over UR105. They aren't new to us... these are 90's songs. First one is I'm Still In Love You by New Edition. I like the way the artist sang the song. The tone and diction of the words are with-feeling, very heartfelt and sincere... as if the artist is on his knees begging... please please please. The second one is Wonderful Tonight, version of Damage. It would be one nice song to play as a serenade over dinner with the lady that makes my heart skip a beat (that is no one... hehe)... mushy!

Okay, now to the real stuff of this blog. I hope this part is longest, since it's what this blog post is supposed to be about. QUESTION: "Would I be friends or friendly to the X of my GF?"

Comment: I have no GF yet, so please bear with me if my ideas seem idealistic or that I'm so innocent or blind about the realities of relationships. Or if I start to sound really downright stupid, please understand and just take my opinion as just MINE. I'll answer based on my POV.

To be friendly or not to be, that is the question. I believe that people are entitled to their reputation. Their relationship with other people does not directly affect their relationship with me. What others have to say may affect my initial judgment a bit. I think we are entitled to be protective of ourselves and our feelings. But still, it is better to assume right first and then prove wrong. If two friends of mine quarrel, I'd stay neutral. The worst I could possibly do is bang their two heads together... hehe. Seriously, I have a very good example of this. I could have missed the opportunity of befriending a very humble and great person in the name of Jan Allen Go - owner of Edison Lamps, a part of my canteen barkada (I ran off... long story) and still he's my very good friend to this day. What happened was I hang out with some Pharma friends on one of my lunches at the engineering canteen. Then I asked one of my friends in our table if she knew Jan. At that time, I didn't know his name, so I just pointed (where were my manners then???...tsktsktsk). I've seen Jan around campus so many times, and I just had to know his name, 'coz he often hangs out with us and none of my friends ever introduced him to me. So this friend of mine said, "Oh, that's Jan Go... (libak libak libak)...." I could hardly believe what my friend said, 'coz if you peeps know or have seen Jan Go, his appearance would suggest that he just couldn't hurt a fly. I then saw Jan at Ayala once, accompanying his lola, so I simply couldn't accept all those bad comments my friend said. Finally, Joy introduced me to Jan in one of the calculus tutorials we had at Starmart when she picked me up at home on a school holiday. It's almost 1 year of pinagsamahan and still I'd rank him as one of the greatest friends one could ever have. I just have absolutely nothing bad to say about this guy. As to the person who tried to tarnish Jan's image, I can't disclose the name, 'coz many of you know her.

In a break up, both people are at fault no matter how well one defends his/her accusation. If there's proper compromise, like a win-win situation is achieved, problems will be surmountable. And when people tell me they fell out of love for someone, I never buy that crap of a lie. It's either their butts got too lazy to love or they've found some juicier meat out there... cow theory anyone? Either way, there's a lame story behind that lame excuse.

I have to hear both sides of the story as to why my GF and her X broke up. Am I to answer this question??? I find it hard to court someone who's had a past with someone else. I don't know why, but I feel that if I'm to have a relationship with someone who's had a past, I can't picture myself giving out my best. It's like I can't be my best, can't be sweet, thoughtful, caring, giving, forgiving as I would want to. Anyway, I'll stop whining about this, 'coz it ain't right to judge others by their past. People write their own lives and for whatever faults they make along the way, I can't use it as leverage to deny them of future opportunities. It's a struggle I must fight.

To be more deep in this topic, I'll venture out into an extreme scenario. I love the daring. I'll paint a scenario of what could possibly happen. Let it not happen to me, but for purposes of entertaining all of you with a story to tell, here I go! (Just a thought, Van, I could publish this story as an article for the school paper... ang dami sigurong matamaan.... hwag na lang.)

X breaks girl's heart. Girl is too hurt, weak and can't make a fighting stance, so she goes on self pity. They eventually "break-up"(note the quotes). Guy moves on without hope of reconciliation, finds greener pastures and meets a new cow. Girl weeps and dreams of getting back with guy... dream, dream dream... wake up! Sees a guy in her search for someone to fill the void within. That's where I come in. Befriends me and sops me with her stories. I, with a soft heart, sypathizes and empathizes. Definitely not one Sir Delante would approve of, but after months of companionship, sad stories turn into wonderful moments spent together. Uh oh... *shakes head. On a beautiful February 29 sunset, atom bomb drops over Nagasaki Sunset Boulevard, and she says YES.

3 years of holding hands, countless romantic flicks visited and revisited, and other stuff lovers do pass by and the boat begins to rock. X enters the picture as he walks past Girl in one of her romantic dates with her current lover, the loverboy in the person of ME. Her head turns and... oops her lover notices. I then ask, "You know X? Ka berks ko yan ah." - aba co�o si loverboy.

Intermission: Let's pause for a moment. Some of you may ask: "Huh? After 3 years, why doesn't our loverboy know that his ka barkada, X, is Girl's ex-lover?" Pasensya na po kung medyo nagulo ang saysay ng storya, pero kaya nga sinabi ko extreme scenario nga eh. Mahahaba pa. Relax and enjoy the kwento.

So I show a tinge of jealousy, pero wala lang. Normal lang yan, for someone who's still immature. I smile and nothing follows. No word is said. I take her home and I walk home with ???????? (doesn't mean anything. question marks lang yan) in my head. The following days are silent. I call and the phone just rings... krriinggg... nag-fax tone na lang di pa sinagot. Someone calls my name at my front lawn. I look at the window and it's my Girl. I have my hand on the front doorknob. My mind decides whether to open the door or get back to my game of Ragnarok.

A blinding light overcomes me and takes me to the past... more like Austin Powers. I come to the day when I'm 7 years old, my first day of class. A young lad hands me an apple. It's X 14 years ago. His mind is that of a 7 year-old, while mine is as corrupted as that of a 21 year old one. At that moment, I have the power to throw the apple back at him. That would change the order of history. Girl would never have met bastard X who broke her heart and none of that anger and jealousy would ever clog my veins. I took the apple, opened my lunch kit and gave him the sandwich my mom prepared for me supposedly. Everything comes to a fast forward and in the bleak of the glowing light, a scene slows down. It's the day when X blinds Girl into saying YES. The Guy's face is pastel. It's X, that's for sure, but it seemed I was staring into a mirror. Was it X or was it me? Before I got a second glance, screen goes black and an evil laughter send shivers down my spine. Matrix writings fill the screen in green. Screen prompts user: Delete (Y/N)? Eons pass by and I click N. "Come what may," I say.

Pastel image is sharpened using Adobe Photoshop. And what was blurred is now vivid. Whew that was a close one! N is suddenly the letter of the month. Small kid offers me an apple. I turn it to a peach and hand it out to him. He takes it, and without a warning grows into a man in a black suit. I then transform to someone like the man in a suit. Only that I'm Will Smith and he's Tommy Lee Jones. I'm BLACK! and we're the best of buddies ready to take on the biggest scum of this universe. We own a big-time company that does nothing but bridge people together through friendship. Wow! Talk about imagination. Yakety yak yak.

In the blink of an eye, my hand is on the doorknob. With a happy heart, I open the door. Barefoot, I ran through the mowed lawn. She runs and we meet halfway the path to an embrace. In the solace of the sweet embrace, our wrinkled hands and grey hair spoke only in whispers of time well spent, and a life well lived.

And they lived happily ever after.

That's how fairytales are supposed to end.

Hope you all got the message. I won't edit it anymore 'coz it's lengthy. Probably none of you reached this part anyway... perhaps skipped to this part only??? Close My Eyes by Jordan Night is now on track. It's so soothing and makes me wanna close my eyes, so I guess I should and you should too.

September 11, tomorrow. Let us all pray for peace, that it may start within our hearts and spread across continents like a plague!

These days have been quite quiet. The sea is so silent and, my boat is sailing at a standstill. I'm just being a good student nowadays. My extra curricular work will just have to start piling up, I guess. Bigfoot never called up, so I guess I'll put it in my pile of history books already.

Hmmm... I got nothing to blog about. I'm thinking of changing my template, but I don't have enough graphics to choose from... hmph... reminds me to save for a scanner. Anyway, I'd appreciate it a lot if you peeps have some topics you want to share for me to comment about, so that I could post my comments about it as a blog entry rather than just a couple of tags in the tagboards.

Well, this will have to do for now. In a while, I'll go to the movie house to watch Pirates of The Carribean. They say Johnny Depp played his role very well. I won't miss it for the world.

--+--!!!Happy Birthday Maia!!!--+--

You're a year older now... and a year more of a Mangkay... hehe just kidding. Hope you enjoy your day and may you age with grace.

I just had the longest stay on the net. Was updating my antivirus definitions to protect my PC from new viruses. Have to sleep now, 'coz it's schoolday for me tomorrow.

Just a short blog before I sleep.

I found "something" inspirational yesterday and it's been keeping my thoughts busy. Also yesterday marked the 1st day of class from one whole week of serving in the JCI ASPAC. My brain ceased to function yesterday and all I thought about were the events of the convention and the various people I met along the way... I pity my teachers who blabbed all day, yet what they blabbered about just didn't register in my rusted brain. I hope tomorrow, I'll be back to normal.

Today, no class for me as usual. Drove mom on errands in the morning. She had a meeting at around 1:30 and so I was stuck at the mall. Had nothing to do, so I decided to go to the gym and make ammends for skipping gym all week last week. I definitely had a lot to pay in terms of my biceps' and triceps' strength. Hopefully, I could regain them back by working out harder this week. Anyway, I went back to Ayala after 2 hours of gym and met Gary near Timezone. I've longed to dance on that Dance Rev machine, since I knew no one here who had the guts to try. It's been 4 years already since I practiced, so I invited Gary and guess what... he knows how to dance it too! We played one game with 3 songs. I thought I'd trip over and fall due to lack of practice, but I guess once a dancer, always a dancer. So I fared well, but Gary beat me in the Paranoia song... I just couldn't keep up with the stepping.

We took a breather afterwards and went around the mall. Gary talked about TC Days... and I just remembered that I forgot (does this make sense) to hire some concessionaires. Tagalas and Thirsty were taken already, so we visited KFC and Zagu. No one took them yet, so they're ok with us. We'll be phoning them tomorrow to finalize the contract. That was fast! 2 concessionaires in 15 minutes! Beat that.

Wandered aimlessly around the mall, since the rain poured hard once again... (I hope the reason to it is not because some people are feeling so heaven... I think I caused it.) We met Joevic and he decided to join us window shopping. Bought nothing, but it was fun looking for stuff at the mall. We passed by Timezone again and guess what... yeah you guessed it right... one game only. We parted ways by 5:30. I had to accompany my mom to Makro to buy some supplies for the store that feeds us. Went home, had a full meal and watched TV (The One - Jet Lee and Nine Months - Hugh Grant). Couldn't sleep, so I decided to rip some CDs into MP3s to add to my collection. While waiting, I decided to blog of course. And now that my MP3s are done, I shall bid thee adieu! Oyasumi Nasai!