Biglang nag-brownout twice, so I had to retype this blog � THRICE� hahahay!

I�m at TAP-TC here in school. I was going to just make-silip into my site and the sites of my fellow bloggers when biglang bumagsak ang ulan� and a flooded road lies between me and the Eng�g building� so I went back to the caf� in school and surfed the net na lang. I haven�t posted blogs from TAP for a rather long time, so I decided to post blog here.

I have been a busy, but smiling bee for the past few days and that scares me. When I�m on my high�s I start to wonder whether meron bang kapalit ang lahat na ito, so I�ll share some thoughts that are behind those smiles, para pambawi. Pasensya na po sa Co�o Tagalog for those na nahihirapan o ayaw talagang magbasa ng Tagalog. I just came from bloghopping to a �Kris Aquino� site in Maia�s links. I sometimes like to use Tagalog kasi there are just some terms or emotions na di kayang mapadama in English� as with �Bakit ngayon ka lang...� and others.

Anyway, there�s a problem� not much a problem really, pero it keeps my mind running at times when I have ran out of things to think about or things to do. Mahirap kasi itong problema lalo nang I don�t have a dad anymore (my mom�s the father figure sa family, pero iba talaga kapag dad mo talaga)� and my lalake friends are� kagaya ko rin� clueless, SMB (Style Mo baduy� tama ba Mangks�), torpedo at iba pa. One big team kami of mga inutil. hehehe� saun na lang,

Sige� sulong!

Ito kasi nangyari. Kung sinubaybayan niyo mga posts ko for the past few days, you�d recall that I was mentioning something like 3 became 4 then now it�s down to 2. Easier to choose na lang sana, pero ang hirap pa rin. Kahit may mapili ako sakaling isa, mahirap pa rin. Paano na �to tol? The 4 narrowed down to 2 na lang kasi I realized that it�s better to focus on the ones you like na sakali lang� kunyari lang� may pagtingin rin sa �yo. It�s not assuming naman, pero there are hints� but still I could be wrong. Sa panahon ngayon, di na uso ang mga �martyr�� pasakit lang yan sa puso. Matay ta sayo ana. Hehehe�

So now, I invited one of the 2 to our victory party last Saturday. My Uncle was nice enough to give me extra tickets and since my bro and mom wanted to go somewhere else, the tickets were mine to keep� in the hope that meron gustong sasama sa akin. So I invited� ahem� and 2 of her friends. We enjoyed the party and during sometime in the party, kinulit ako ng mga friends nya as to sino daw crush ko� Pinilit nila talaga ang �M�� the name Ivy then became �Mivy�� gets� hahaha! Trying hard talaga. They got curious �coz Gary told them letter �M� daw nagsimula pangalan niya. Tama na man si Gary, pero that WAS history. �M� was #1, pero wala na yan sa picture� exit stage left. I told them hindi �M� pero ayaw talaga nilang maniwala. Grabe ka Gary! Ang lakas ng word mo sa kanila� ayaw tuloy maniwala sa akin ang mga iyon� ehehehe. Anyway, while they were making biro, THE girl who was seated beside me was all quiet� was just smiling� Concerned ako when kinausap ko siya� I asked her who she think is my crush� then she named a few names that started with �M� pa rin na common friends namin. I noticed that when she mentioned the names, parang walang malay� more like just for compliance� sake. I could be wrong again�as always na lang, but I felt it� di naman ako ganun ka manhid� pero malapit na! Kokonti na lang ang kulang, maging true blue Ice King na talaga ang makikita ninyo� aber.

After the party, we went down to the Waterfront lobby to wait for her sundo, then kinulit na rin nila ako tuloy. I never mentioned the name kasi� that�s my problem. Di ako sure. Kahit na sa dalawa, di ako sure kung kaya ko. Even if I chose one, still there�s a possibility na mahulog na lamang sa wala. Sayang ang opportunity, but I don�t dive to opportunities where I don�t know what I�m getting myself into. Because I know that my little knowledge about all this will end up with someone getting hurt� if it�s not me, then someone�s gonna be crying� and one weakness of mine is to see a person cry. That�s one sight that weakens me and puts my convictions to the test. The thought of it strikes me hard that I might not be that capable of handling a relationship. Besides, I consider myself young pa. I don�t want to hurt anyone by my being inutil in matters such as these. If there�s a course on this, I�d be the first to enroll�. Hahaha! Seriously, I�m only good at making advice, but when the situation comes to me, I usually avoid or excuse myself from it.

My puzzle - I don�t think it�s right to court someone you like without really knowing what comes after the initial �bombing strike�. Kahit gaano mo pang gusto ang tao, there�s always this force that will make you reconsider. I never like it when other people, especially friends put pressure, because most of the time, I just run away and never come back. Truly, it�s not good to like someone that much. Because when you do, you start to care so much for their welfare such that you tend to stop liking them out of fear that what you�re doing could hurt them somehow. Is there such a term in the dictionary for that feeling? One more thing � Someone once said to me that it�s nice to get close to someone whose family knows and likes you and both are trusting and comfortable with each other. How nice� I really like that to happen. There�s really a big difference if nilalait ka kaysa if they really consider you as family. Honestly, it�s the case� funny how small this world can be. Her dad knows me very well because of my high school and the church I used to go before. Her mom is my mom�s classmate� and we� well, we�ve been friends since we were classmates in ReEd10, my first year here in USC when I transferred back to Cebu. My problem is, the tie is strong, YES, that�s what I�m afraid of. 3 ties and if something goes wrong, it would be such a shame to waste it all just by strengthening one of the ties.

The other girl naman is very sweet. Pretty too� and has a very charming smile that could launch a million ships� hehehe. Got to know her just 2 weeks pa. She�s nice, but still new pa man gud, so I can�t really make much out of it, but we�re friends. They both have very pleasing personalities, pero� we can�t be too sure pud.

Hahay! Ahmbot na lang� I�d like to use Leslie�s term for this� �Hahay! Ahmbot na lang sa akong lubot!� hahahaha! Why didn�t God put special coded magnets on us and our would-be�s so that when we meet, we get drawn together and that�s it. Solved. Hahaha! That would be silly and stupid! See how nuts this head of mine has become. Anyway, if you peeps have any thoughts to enlighten our consciousness, please, by all means, flood my tagboard for all I care and play guidance counselor.

That�s all for now, before any weird ideas come out of this coconut.