5 Candles
Yesterday, I knew I was going to have a long and probably a rough day ahead of me. So as I was on my way to USC Main for a Unilever Career Recruitment, I passed by Sto. Rosario Church to light 5 candles� 5 separate candles for 5 distinct petitions for the day. Sometimes a positive attitude or simply knowing that God has listened to your plea actually releases my mind free from having to think of the bumpy road ahead. With a light heart and a worry-free mind, I took the next few steps to USC Main.

Choosing Among Infinite Dreams
I was too early for the 9:00 recruitment. I reached school as early as 7:30, since that�s the only time I get to have a free ride to school (and to Lexmark on ordinary working days) when my Tita Lynn is on her way to the office near Capitol. I was just walking around, exploring the school during its more silent wee hours. USC Main is eerie when you see no people around, but given the same situation in TC, it feels as if you have a vacation house all to yourself, nyahahaha. And so at 8:45, I returned back to room 426 where the recruitment was to be held, and there I met some of my classmates. Many were invited from the different courses, but majority of those who showed up were the engineering students most of whom are friends of mine from the other councils and previous sophomore year IE classmates.

And at around 9:30 came the Unilever recruitment team. Just as I guessed, it was Vincent Sandoval who was to handle our recruitment. He�s our high school batch valedictorian who�s now working at Unilever in Manila. And so the recruitment went on� we were to apply for a coveted spot to enter their �Business Week� � a 5 day gathering of our country�s top graduates who are to receive training in business/marketing, etc. in Manila on October 18-22. Mr. Ray Villaflores, Visayas Area Manager of Unilever, also a former Carolinian, gave us a very inspirational talk, which made me think a lot. Though Unilever is more of marketing, sales and finance rather than computers and I.T., I started thinking as to how to run this course called �Knowing What Role You Want To Play�.

My dream cloud was suddenly challenged. Now I�m confused whether to take Masters in Computer Science or whether I should instead get an MBA. Having a masters degree definitely is an edge, but the issue here is whether to pursue the technical aspect of a job or to shift to the business side of it. Sad reality of the working world is that managers who don�t even know how to make a simple computer program like printing �Hello World� on the computer screen are paid much much higher than technical engineers who have the better knowhow and skills. Maybe I�m just frustrated with my course now. Should have taken Computer Science! In Lexmark, I could see how useless my course is, and to think Lexmark is the top choice for Computer Eng�g graduates. I could imagine how even more useless this course is to the other companies out there. If ever there�s some use of it, the pay is low and not commensurate to our credentials.

Hmm� maybe an MBA would be best. Gotta give Ateneo a second try. Listening to Tina Arena�s �Burn� fits my confused situation!

Of Trust and Growth
After the Unilever recruitment, I went to TC. Had lunch at the restaurant across owned by Fritz, Darrell and Andrew to support the business they put up after graduating. Try their sausage meals. Clock struck 1:30, left Diner and went to TC for our USC Robotics Club elections. I can see brighter grounds for the club. I�ve had several differences in the past few months with Melvin, this year�s president. But, from yesterday�s meeting, I guess he isn�t so bad afterall. I think he could do a better job this year with the club rallying behind him. I�ve promised to back him up in areas where I�m more knowledgable, but I�m sure those �areas� are just too minimal and are� like on a special case only. More funds to raise this time with more members and bigger dreams to build. I�m now wondering why I was so against him. Maybe the things that happened just struck my pride� something I�m rather sensitive about, I being a Leo. What�s pride anyway without the capacity to make things happen. So now I have to put my trust in him, and helping him make this club I started grow to what I�ve envisioned it to be. I just realized that things like these are analogous to family business empires. A generation builds, but it has to be the next generation that will make it grow and then the next destroys it� hehe. I don�t think the third phase would apply, just the 1st and second. Letting go can make you grow.

Shuttle Cock and Pizza
The meeting ended sometime 3:15. Got picked up at school by mom and was dropped off at Metro Sports to play badminton with Leslie, Dianne, Rouselle, KenKen, EngEng, Lolo, Pancit and Anton. My sweat was dripping as I played the game since the place was rather warm. Met Karen Dy and Mimi playing at the court across ours. Nice exercise really and I enjoyed playing a lot. Now my right arm and hips hurt.

After 2 hours of playing, we went to pig out at MB�s in Mactan. Finally I was able to go to that resto which so many people have been telling me about. It was my first time there and I loved the food instantly. The pizza was tastly (I still like Il Sole�s and Paparazzi�s Capriciossa and La Gondola�s Wasabi Pizza) and their steak with mashed potato was also one of the best I�ve tasted. A heavy downpour came and the sky was well lit with streaks of lightning and suddenly poof, the lights went out. Probably the heavens did not favor our pigging out after s weight-loss exercise such as badminton� hehehe From dinner till the time Dianne dropped me off home, we had a conversation which rather stirred up the hornets nest of our emotional beehive. And while inside the Corolla Altis, my head was throbbing. I couldn�t make sense of what I was talking about. And I was clueless as to whether what I was saying even made sense to whoever was listening. I�ve been through with my �counselor� and �advice-giving� days for so long already. I no longer know how to give advice to people since for me, life is already a personal choice. People make their own decisions and should live up to the consequences thereof. We can only do as much as tell them what we have to say about it. They�ll listen, but we can�t expect them to think the way we do. And with that philosophy in mind, I tenured my resignation from the �guidance� department so long ago.

When 3+1=4 Is An Equation That Could Take Forever To Analyze
I�m crying out loud here! Sometimes the things that you�re supposed to be happy about gives you the creeps. Or maybe it�s just me. Going to MB�s and on the way home, I was seated beside the person that gives me the same feeling as when I sneeze� makes my heart skip a beat. Weird analogy, but hey it�s true! To be smiling inside or to think of 3+1=4. In software engineering, risk analysis requires an understanding of history and experience from previous situations. In this case, I could say my CompE course has benefited me to this extent ONLY. Could this be the reason why some people quit the chase simply because they�re afraid that they would lose their friendship in the process? Now I know why someone once told me that it could happen. And now its me who�s feeling this way. This is not healthy talk, but I feel like defying the health dictates of the heart. Here�s something I�d like to hear from you people. When you�re alone with the person you feel so much affection for, you could have a nice conversation going and could simply have your minds speak as one, but when in the company of friends you just can�t say a thing or even walk an inch closer to the person. Why is it that before being more than friends you need to be friends first (literally obvious!), but once you�re friends it gets to that point where you�d stop to think whether you�d like to see the road ahead or not.

When your significant other does something nice for you like treating you to a movie, treating you for dessert or having some CDs burned just for you or simply texting you almost everyday or every other day, how do you know if that person is doing that because she�s just a nice, thoughtful friend or because she shares the same feeling as you do? And let�s say it�s the second case, assuming of course that she likes you back too, if you�re afraid to cross the line, it certainly isn�t nice to keep a lady waiting� am I right? As what my friend Faith said, it only takes one month before the giddy feeling fades to oblivion. Is this true? Kittin said one week only. Hehehe� And now, I see just that. It�s not like as it was before. Maybe she�s gone tired of thinking about it. I don�t wanna lose the person, but if I�d try to see the road ahead, maybe I�d really lose the person. But if I don�t maybe I�d still get to keep her. IF IF and more Ifs Wouldn�t want that person to be �The one that got away� *sigh. This sucks more than having to go to school every waking day. I�d appreciate your thoughts please.

Gotta do my software engineering powerpoint presentation for next week�s reporting. Thanks for reading btw.