It's been quite some time since the last time I wrote something here.

I just came from watching the movie Polar Express with my family (mom and bro). T'was a touching story and though I've been having difficulty accepting the fact that Christmas and all the jolly spirit that accompanies it is actually less than a month away, I could say that it was a miracle in itself that I watched this movie. I like stories like this where it makes me realize how precious time is and how important little things are. I guess when we age, we forget our dreams and we forget how it felt like to be a child a few years back then. We forget to see the little things and even if we do, we don't value them as much.

If you peeps saw the movie already, then you perhaps would know what I'm blogging about. The most interesting part of the movie (for me) was towards the end --- when the kids were able to listen to the jingle of the bell, and yet their parents weren't able to. I was in deep thought then... I could say I'm one with the parents. If I had been a cast of the movie, I'd be one of those who couldn't hear the melody of Santa's Bell.

When I was watching the movie, I felt like a kid. I was amazed by the elves, the gifts and Santa's factory. It made me a child once more. Yet when the movie was over, I mumbled "And now, back to reality..." Hehehe... I've stopped believing in fairytales and though how I wish I could, so many things in my life have led me to get in touch with what's real. I've stopped believing in Christmas. I've stopped believing in Santa Clause and I've stopped believing in tooth fairies. I could recall a few months ago that two of you who visit my site told me to still believe no matter what. I did listen to you, but now I've decided to be the bamboo that goes with the flow. Done and gone are the days when I have questions left unanswered. I already have them. And gone too were the times that I'd fight my battles and even other's battles if they were too weary to fight their own. I've stopped believing because there's no reason to go on with this thign I've been holding on to for the last 2 months. Struggles are fought when the cause is right, but without a cause, there is no banner left to raise.

It's over. And to hoping, I leave it up to the Lord because not even my desperate and endless attempts could overcome the destiny He has for me. I'm no longer the master of things but the slave to His plan. The warrior has been humbled and the battle left to those who have not fallen. Hello Hades.

Things will be very different about me in the next... I don't know what measure of time to use. The issue is closed. If friends can't change things, if I myself can't change things then there's only one conclusion to it -- It cannot be changed. So I guess this is it. Gotta be strong, gotta keep moving and gotta find my way in the road of life. Destiny holds me and only time know where I will be.