I'd like to use the title of Pope John Paul II's book "Crossing The Threshold of Hope" as header of this blog entry... and perhaps as a new theme for this site if I couldn't find a better one. Christmas is over and it's about time to change this rather pale background image. I'll get to the sketchboards this weekend.

It's been a long while since I last blogged this early (5:30AM). I just woke up rather abruptly as the effect of alcohol in my veins wore out. Slept at 12MN as soon as I came home from Cippy's house. The food there was gourmet, with Jamon Serrano (a kind of salty ham from Spain) and there was roast Angus beef and lechon. Many of my SHS-B friends were there, most of which came from the other sections B,C and D... none was from A... hehe... so I was kinda the only one there, but I have close ties with them... closer than some ties I have with the A people. Anyway, we got to drinking. And when I say drinking, it's not Red Horse Beer. They served Johnny Walker scotch (had 2 glasses on the rocks and one Depth Charge), Jose Cuervo Tequila (8 shots... thanks to the people who proposed countless toasts), then there was wine (didn't take it, 'coz I still have a lot here at home as surplus from the Holidays) So practically, I had alcohol running through my wires.

Today's a new day for me. I went up the imperial steps to the IRS building way up in the "bukid" to meet Fr. Alex Gaut to have him hear my confession. My 4:30 class teacher didn't show up again (Where's Sir Barangan?) so I decided it would be the best time to have a sincere heart-2-heart talk with someone close to the Lord... to get the bunt of my questions of faith and doubts on the existence of an Almighty. My confession lasted 2 hours from 5:30 to 7:30 (just in time for dinner at Cippy's house) It was a long talk with Father and it was a very meaningful one. I've regained my faith once again from a 5 year-long separation (that explains why it took me 2 hours to confess... hehe). I swore to myself never do it again... EVER. I've realized that even if we lose faith due to some harsh circumstances in life, somehow the bitterness wears off and we will soon realize that it's pointless to be bitter... so why not just carry the cross, move on and quit whinning. This is probably the best thing that happened to me this year. I feel happier, more free and more at ease. I no longer carry the guilt of unbelief and I can now see the Lord as my savior and ever forgiving best friend.

God does put us to the test. Even if it's just minutes since I regained my faith through Fr. Alex, he put my convictions to the test. It's really a mean thing to do... really!... but what can I do, who am I to complain... all I can do is pray and draw strength from him. In my moment of strength, He reminds me of life's reality and He tries to make me weak. Despite the new strength, I still struggle. Why is that? At Cippy's party, I didn't feel like eating. Something happened before the dinner that made me just lose my huge appetite for the tasty food I earlier mentioned. I'd usually consume pounds of steak, but I just had a slice of it, a slice of lechon, a slice of Jamon Serrano and a glass of Coke. That was it. I don't want to mention what happened 'coz I'd be boring you peeps... It sickens me too, so why mention it... It's just one of those situations that you'd just like to throw your cellphone away and wished it was never invented to make communication easier and faster. Why does technology seem to complicate things instead of serving its purpose which is to simplify things? If only I won't need my cellphone for emergency purposes, I'd gladly give it to someone or dump in the nearby dumpster. It's really a big troublemaker and big fuss and a big nuisance... not to mention the weight it adds to your trousers. And so that explains why I took in more alcohol than I should. Got a bit tipsy come to think of the drinks I had, but I didn't vomit or get wasted. I like this machine I have in my body. It handles "gasoline" very efficiently... hehe. I'll end here 'coz the sun's rays have touched my room and in a few minutes I'll be heading off to school. Hanggang sa susunod... abangan.