Last Saturday was definitely a September 11 for me. Something bad happened in the morning and I really don't want to reminisce it once more because it's just so... argh! Thanks to the mere presence of my significant other, my day was not totally wrecked. Was supposed to watch Princess Diaries 2 with her, but the architect for our new outlet wanted to see me and my mom so it totally changed my plans for that afternoon. It was nice of her to understand my extremely busy schedule. After the talk with the architect, I met up with Rouselle and Winnie at Ayala. We just talked at Starbucks for an hour or so, before we split ways. I then watched Princess Diaries 2 with my mom and bro that night. While watching, I couldn't help but wish that I could have watched that same movie a few hours ago with the person that means so much to me... but... *sigh... all I can do was imagine and regret not being able to. Time sure has a way of f*cki*g things up for me.

Right now, I don't know in what state I am. Now, I am the clueless one. I've never been in this game called love and now I don't know where this is all going. There's just not enough time to talk and I could feel that we're living worlds apart even if we're just both in Cebu City. It's tough to be courting someone when you're just a student and she's working. Time is just a huge player and I've never been best friends with time. How am I to make sense of all these? Everything nice that we've built together is slowly falling apart due to the uncertainty of things. She was and is still afraid because of the countless breakups and fights she sees around her. How could I make her believe that this "relationship" will be different, that it will have a fairytale ending, that I could make her the happiest girl on the planet. How do I convince my best girl friend to, for at least once in her life, BELIEVE. I was once confident and sure, but now I'm slowly having fears that this would all collapse to one big pile of junk. There's no continuity of events. Things are in an on and off state due to or busy schedules and the constraints of time and space. I wanna steer this "relationship" smoothly, but... BUT... wait a minute... is there really a relationship here? Bottomline is we're MU... Murag Uyab... murag lang. We do things like couples do (except the kissing hugging and holding hands, etc.) but we are not. I'm now questioning who's the one who's confused now. I think it's me. Pray John, pray harder.